While reading your blogs I realized how much I missed mine. Each day I want to write and share but usually nothing comes. Since April it has been very hard. Seems before it was easy to express myself and now being cleared of all the CLUTTER within me leaves me wondering if I really have much to say.
I am so happy poor but very, very happy. I am at peace and seems I had posts so full of sadness and despair oh yes Joy as well if you looked deeper within it was there but really I was just not whole.

I still see things others will never get and it is OK maybe they are not meant to.

Ok on with today’s RARE BLOG really from me NOT A RE-BLOG he he READY?

So I have not seen much of my Mom since my return from retreat and she has not ben well so I made it a point when I got my check this month to take the $30 in gas right out and go spend sometime with her after I was done with Shoulder PT appointment. Ron and JT came with me as even she is feeling more like herself never will something from China be consumed in my home by ANY OF US!

So I get to Mom’s and she is doubled over unable to stand up straight I tell her to use the cane more to hold herself up though her hands are bad and I understand why she doesn’t. She has had RA for 40 years or better been crippled then better now her spine is worsening as she has lost so much of her height. She now has 2 cracked or broken vertebrae she will never tell me as too many years I was broken so she tries to toughen it out. She actually said she was ready to go. What the hell does that mean? Ready to go she is healthy as an ox except for the pain and she refuses anything but Tylenol and we all know the dangers of that drug.

So I had gone down with the full intent to scrub floors, clean refrigerator, scrub the stove things you ought to stand to do and need to do for more than a minute. I went around the property of this home I grew up in and admired all the flowers she grew. She had some beauties. I went out to the front yard and saw a section of the garden beds I had done so much work on my whole adult life now looking so pitiful. I asked what she wanted to do about it as she insists she loves her home and doesn’t want to sell and move in with one of us or her own apartment with little she would have to do but care for herself. She says “I can’t do it anymore”. I have known this for a long time hell I can not do what I used to and I am 20 years younger. So I get her garden cart, shovel, rake and a bucket with soil and proceed to dig every last Iris and Lily mixed in with weeds and grass out of the front bed. I took each one and trimmed back the green growth and cleaned the roots and set them aside. I worked for 2 hours on them alone I did that sitting on the same front stairs as I had when I was a little girl all the while watching Mom insisting on sitting outside with me and JT she sat in a plastic lawn chair. Same kind I did my retreat in not that comfortable.

After I had them done I moved on to trim a bush them I really trimmed it pretty much till it was just above the soil as there was so much dead branches soon she would lose them anyway. As I worked on my feet she tried to play a little with JT. It was warm so the dog did not mind resting a lot.

I got to this beautiful bush and knew if it was up to me to add a fresh coat of paint to the front of this house I could not have shrubbery against it so again I began a hard prune taking out many dead branches. Well This is usually covered in bees and yes it was a beauty but so out of control. I came across something that saddened me. Seems our world is so full of filth and debris and so many slobs our little birds have learned to cope the best they can. See?

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So much plastic trash was a part of this poor Mother Bird’s nest

 

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I swear it looked as if it were a home in the projects it made me very sad.

 

 

Now wait till you see what her front yard looks like now.

 

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We had not seen that last window for years she will have to pull the blinds down now till she decides if she wants to let it grow back  or if we can make this place pretty with something easy to care for.  I am not getting any younger either and with injuries even worse.  Ron is in no better health he has lost so much weight and muscle and he is diabetic to boot.

 

All was not worrisome at Mom’s some  of the day was delightful which is how I will end this post UPBEAT! :)

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Mom painted this rock years ago and we thought the bees thought her artwork was real but then a guy I went to school with thought maybe they were just wanting to grab hold so they could get a drink.  I told her to place a shallow dish with rock in it so birds could have their baths again :)

 

Remember she loves flowers like me so here are a few I took after I did all the work so they are not that good but still pretty

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Thanks for coming to Mom’s with me.

 

She would love all of you.  Each one is so very special to me XO

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