Tag Archive: Depression


Daily Prompt: On the Edge/BALANCE

I spent years really living on the edge but a very slippery edge, indeed.

I was a trucker who worked and worked, never getting enough rest. I was young and fearless.

After a divorce and a bad wreck( no not of my doing, lol )thankfully, life for me was so very different.

I lost my balance. I fell. I fell into deep sadness. Yes I mucked about pretending all was well but clearly everyone could see how I had changed. I lost ME.

Well things are back on an even keel.

I have a blessed life.

I see that now.

I blog with people all over the world who have had such deep sadness in their lives. I also have some followers so full of joy, it is contagious.

You see I had stopped caring. I stopped LIVING.

When I found WordPress I was in search of who I was.

I had to pick a name for my new blog and it came easy, Living and Lovin, as that is really all I searched for.

I am here to tell you that I found it and then some.

I eat right now and actually exercise in the amounts I need. Balance it is a good thing.

I wake daily and with coffee see what blogging buddies are up too.

I eat breakfast and do the housework. For years I really had stopped caring.

I now work in my garden.

Play with the dog.

Have conversations with the love of my life.

I thought I had it all till sadly it was gone. My edge may have been different from yours but clearly living on the edge is hard for anyone eventually. It will catch up to you.

It has been a long winding road but finally no longer do I stand on a slippery slope of sadness and despair. No longer a part of the rat race of life. I have taken back who I really am. I wake each day thankful for all I have. I do stop to smell the ROSES, well all the flowers. How could I have gotten so far out of whack? Are others as well and still not knowing it?

For me it is about BALANCE.

Doing what needs to be done and making time for play.

I play usually with a camera in tow so now they can all see the change. Pretty dramatic even when I look back.

My wish for all of you is to find your balance. With work, love, life and play. When you are out of whack that is truly living on the edge.

PEACE

Sharing More Of Me

Hi Everyone.
Sorry you were worried about me just silly Daily Prompts as I promised I would bore you all with more stories of my life. Now heads up this is all real and even made the front page of several papers, but again I am OK.

So let’s begin this story in 1997. If you remember I had the ex removed by law enforcement finally and started life again. I met a man ten years younger him 29 and me by then 39. I had the home but always worked. I have a neighbor here who moved in just before my divorce and she seemed friendly enough. I would care for her horse if she ran late Stormy loved my blonde hair oh and the Apple and Carrots I brought him. She in return would let my dogs 4 of them out half way through the day till I pulled in with my rig at the end of a long day.

I had Halloween parties, remind me to tell you about them someday, ADULT COSTUME PARTIES, and I always welcomed her to come nd she did. Well she had a neighborhood get together each spring and I attended hers. You know neighborly. Well at the party in 1997 things changed. She asked me to sign a petition to stop another neighbor from subdividing his 17 acres. I kind of thought it was a joke as he had spent two hours at this party before having to take his son to practice. She was single and so was he but no love interest either.

On that day I told her she needed to mind her own business when it came to a man wanting to sell some land to build a beautiful home for himself and son. He at the time lived in a single wide mobile home beside her. Well I guess the line was drawn in the sand for her. I was either with her or against her only I never knew remember I thought it was a silly joke we live in New Hampshire “Live Free of Die” our state motto.

She and the neighbors no longer waved to me and I was the one here long before they were. I hired someone to let the dogs out and back in and went to work to pay for the truck on my own. Hatred built up in the neighborhood as my friend and neighbor got the towns permission to sub-divide and build. It was crazy around here and I was thankful I was gone from 4 AM till 5 PM on most days I missed my dogs but they were well cared for till I got back home.

So on a day back in in 1998 we had parked the rig and gotten in our car to run to the store to food shop and I wanted to stop and leave a note on my friends trailer to invite him over for supper. I got out of the car and walked up to his back door to leave a note on it for him when my boyfriend says “Moe’s barn just blew up!” I thought he was joking I was standing with my back to him and never heard a thing surly I would hear an explosion. I turned and saw nothing but then he pointed to the fire all over the ground. I still didn’t see why till we saw our neighbor Moe full engulfed in flames with a horrible noise coming from him. He was melting I mean it was horrible we left the car on the side of the road and went running over to help. Dave took off his Tee Shirt to try and extinguish the flames and get him to the ground I ran to the house to find his wife. She was standing on the porch in shock and not running to the phone for 911 so I pushed past her, angry that she wasn’t. I screamed for her to get buckets or pans or milk jugs full of water and get them out to Dave. We had to cool his skin, hydrate him I do not know how or why I said that but she snapped out of shock and began to get the water out while I had to stay on the phone with 911 all the while we were 3 feet from a fully engulfed huge barn on fire. Dave said metal from cans exploding in the barn were ripping by him on the ground so he dragged Moe closer to the house. Now mind you 911 would not let me hang up till help arrived. I wanted to do more but I was told to stay on the phone. Should this ever happen again I will lay the phone down and help, I hate feeling helpless.

Finally two young police officers arrive and Dave and I can finally look up and around. The barn was raging, the news copter was hovering above I swear the turbulence made it even worse. Finally the Fire trucks arrive I am talking maybe 20 minuets or longer from when I made the call. The station is 3 miles away. We were all alone with this poor man who had had a horrible accident in his barn and now may die because it was just Dave and I there to help him. I was feeling so sick watching him writing in pain. All the friends of his standing and watching him burn you see when the line was drawn by me telling her to mind her business they had all banded together to get my rig thrown out of my yard. Me with 3 acres at a dead-end, all because she got mad at me.

I would like to say had I know I would have done the exact thing. It was what you are supposed to do for someone in need.

Now you can imagine a little town, small streets huge equipment everywhere fire not being knocked down they just let it burn and burn see it was not an accident. This man had poured gasoline all around the barn many gallons worth and had a rope already hanging from a beam. He had climbed a ladder and slipped his head into it preparing to die that day. He I found out had been saying he would for a long time, they just stopped listening to him. Sad really mx another drink and fall further into depression.

So Dave is with Moe who is in horrible pain and his clothes were stuck to him day wanted the cops to hurry the EMT’s along, you see Dave lost a little sister in a house fire when he was six. He wanted Moe to live. We both did. The cop sits upon his chest we still don’t know why you would do this to a man so burnt but it was when Dave saw them cut the rope that was buried in his neck from the fall and the fact it was a nylon rope didn’t help. Dave almost got sick. He ran to me to tell me it wasn’t an accident and then told me what had happened. I felt so much emotion angry we had gone into harms way for a man who had so carefully laid out his death, to running and screaming the best he could that he wanted help. By now it had been an hour and we were not feeling well. It was probably from all of the adrenalin that kicks in to get you through something horrible all I know is we just wanted to go home.
The wife was so thankful to us for being the ones who came to his aid while the others just stood watching. She called us angels. I worried about her. The police put Dave and I in different police cars with pads of paper to write down what we saw, heard and did guess they were worried we would talk and discuss and they wanted each of us to tell what we saw and heard for the record. You see a suicide attempt should you fail can land you in jail. Dave joked from the car in front for us to take the cars out for a race. I could finally relax I actually smiled and then told him to hurry up and write.

I got out of the police car first and one of the local reporters from TV holds a Mike up to me for the story, what story the one where a man was so very sad he no longer wanted to live. I told her NO COMMENT and walked up to the wife and hugged her and told her I was beat and had to go home and then told the police and Dave and I went right back to the house no shopping in no state to eat anyway.

We helped her for almost a year till he came home. He had so many skin graph surgeries but was alive and so thankful to be. He was getting help he so badly had been crying for. They still love us and think fondly of the two they had set about to get my rig out of my place. Funny how stories end from the time the debris was picked up till they moved I parked my truck in their yard across from my neighbor that started a war.

It was months before Dave and I slept without waking in sweats and seeing him running across the yard.

It was just two or three weeks after the attempted suicide that the wife begged us to talk to a reporter she wanted the world as well as neighbors to know that we were good people. I gave in opened the front door to Susan who would do the interview. She thanks us and I never thought about it till someone handed me the paper. We knew the story by heart, we lived it but it was the Editorial they wanted us to see.

Here is what her Editor after reading her write-up on us and interviewing the wife wrote about us.

An unselfish act.

Epping should be grateful to have people like Eunice and Dave, who risked their own safety Wednesday night to save the life of their neighbor Moe and his barn went up into flames.

Eunice and Dave were backing out of another neighbor’s yard, preparing to take a spin into town when they saw the barn on fire and Mo running from the barn with his clothes were in flames.

The ran to the mans aid, David taking off his shirt and used it to put out the flames on Moe’s burning body. Moe was screaming in pain through the whole ordeal.

This neighborhood has had its share of upheaval and controversy in recent months. Just a year ago, the neighborhood was up in arms over a gravel pit operation and demanded the town to shut it down. Squabbling over one issue or another has continued.

Other neighbors managed to put Eunice a truck driver, out of business by complaining about her truck being parked at her home. Theirs Eunice and David’s- was an unselfish act by people who might have had a reason to turn away, but didn’t.

The couple’s actions that night, not only saved a neighbor’s life but could go a long way toward fostering a true sense of community in their neighborhood. Anything is possible when people care as much as Eunice and Dave clearly do.

Now you know who I am though I think some of you figured it out. I love life and all it holds it is precious. I lost a cousin when I was 4 and he was 5 he was scaled at a family farm. My Dad was a Shriner he took us to the Shriner Hospital to teach us what matches could do. I hate fire so when I saw the Daily Prompt I somehow just had fun with it though they were very truthful answers. Nothing matters to me but life and love things are just simply THINGS.

Sorry for the heavy post but talk of fire brought it all back tonight.

Stay safe out there.

It was a shock to read the story she wrote never mind what her boss took upon himself to write about us. We were finally given commendations from our local police chief as well.

Love
Eunice

Image

As he searched for treasure in and around the boulders and gravel I found GOLD in a

friendship with Marie.

There may have been 3 vehicles parked in the shade along this stretch of route 112

but the woman in both made their way over to say hello and to say h to JT.

This part of the story will focus on Marie.  She said she was from MA in an area I used to go to once a

day, in my Big Rig.

I was siting  in a chair throwing sticks or a frisbee to JT  and told her about my back and she said she

knew my pain.

In fact today was the first time she had left the home with her husband for fun in 8 years.  She had been

hurt in an accident at work, boy could we relate.

We talked and talked and tears flowed from both of us.

We knew each others pain.

She saw me as strong . It was not till we spoke she knew I too, was broken.

She has to go through exactly what I had gone through for 10 years for her ,now

8. years of hell.   I told her to hang on it would soon be over.

It is what they do to hard workers who get hurt and go after them for damages.

They want us to give up and God knows I came close more than once.

She has to fight for disability.  I told her how.  I asked her to please just not to give up.

After hugging her and telling her it would be OK my mate saw us crying and said

“Do you know each other?” he was smiling as this happens so much he is used to it.

Marie told him I was so special and he smiled again and said he knew.  He also told her

this happens to me a lot now that  I have started to really LIVE my life again.  I am glad

it is with him.

So I let Marie know how to reach me.  I do not know if she will  but one thing I am sure of

is the fact she left that river’s edge a little stronger inside.  She needed to meet someone who had gone

through the pain and depression and had come out the other side.  Yes battered and bruised but no

longer busted and broken.   I refused the drugs finally and am finally Living and Lovin   ( the name of my

BLOG )

Image

As he searched for treasure in and around the boulders and gravel I found GOLD in a

friendship with Marie.

There may have been 3 vehicles parked in the shade along this stretch of route 112

but the woman in both made their way over to say hello and to say h to JT.

This part of the story will focus on Marie.  She said she was from MA in an area I used to go to once a

day, in my Big Rig.

I was siting in a chair throwing sticks or a frisbee to JT and told her about my back and she said she

knew my pain.

In fact today was the first time she had left the home with her husband for fun in 8 years.  She had been

hurt in an accident at work, boy could we relate.

We talked and talked and tears flowed from both of us.

We knew each others pain.

She saw me as strong . It was not till we spoke she knew I too, had been broken.

She has to go through exactly what I had gone through for 10 years.  Marie was  now

into her 8th  year of hell.   I told her to hang on it would soon be over.

It is what they do to hard workers who get hurt and go after them for damages.

They want us to give up and God knows I came close more than once.

She has to fight for disability.  I told her how.  I asked her to please just not to give up.

After hugging her and telling her it would be OK my mate saw us crying and said

“Do you know each other?” he was smiling as this happens so much he is used to it.

Marie told him I was so special and he smiled again and said he knew.  He also told her

this happens to me a lot now that  I have started to really LIVE my life again.  I am glad

it is with him.

So I let Marie know how to reach me.  I do not know if she will  but one thing I am sure of

is the fact she left that river’s edge a little stronger inside.  She needed to meet someone who had gone

through the pain and depression and had come out the other side.  Yes battered and bruised but no

longer busted and broken.   I refused the drugs finally and am finally Living and Lovin (the name of my

BLOG,lol)

For all of you fighting the fight please do fight for your life.  It is worth it.

Peace & Love

kikontheroad

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My journey........

kikontheroad

There are no foreign lands. It is the traveler only who is foreign – Robert Louis Stevenson

Foodie on a Dime

The adventures of one girl, eating well, on a budget

Kit Dunsmore's Blog

Creating a Handmade Life, One Moment at a Time

Moments with Millie

Where words come to reside.

The Mountain Library

A reading list on mountaineering, mountain travel, culture and fiction, and observations on other creativity inspired by high places.

J. Gazo-McKim

I love the interplay of colour and texture

inesepogagallery

NATURE ART, DRAWING AND PAINTING

Colline's Blog

A potpourri of thoughts and experiences

Avian101

"My Backyard Visitors" - All about birds - The world is my backyard!

PI Photography and Fine Art

Find the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Mix 104.1

Boston's Best Variety

Optimystical

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. ~ Rumi

composerinthegarden

The intersection of music and the garden as parallel creative art forms

NH Fish and Game Radio Diner

Connecting you to life outdoors

Time To Be Inspired

Indulge in Creativity

trikatykid & the dog

swim | bike | run | adventure | quilt | write

Life Is a Damn Circus

...And We Are The Circus Acts

Infinitefreetime.com

The blog of Luther M. Siler, Teacher/ Word-maker-dude/ Wanker for hire

Moondustwriter's Blog

penned with moon dust

antryump

"A Blog worth reading "

O' Canada

Reflections on Canadian Culture From Below the Border

mamacravings

everything a mama could want

Garden of Eve

Growing my own, from garden to table.

mejfote

life fashion & more

MARVA SEATON BLOG

Lifestyle, Social Media, News, Commentary, Words of Hope and Inspiration

Learning to snap

Learning photography in New Zealand

Uncle Tree's House

Putting music to words, and words to pictures ~

Flowery Prose

Growing words....

Martha Keim-St. Louis' blog

watercolor and things that fall out of my fingers, art, watercolor, words

Frank Martyn

Inken Thought

The Karen Gibson Roc Blog

ALL THINGS POETIC

Miss Lou Acquiring Lore

Gallery of Life...

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