Tag Archive: JOY


Image

I wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas and for those who do not celebrate the birth of our Christ  a very Happy Holiday Season to you as well. 

I remember the days of our family home on Christmas morning.  We, the three of us children,  were so very lucky to have what was waiting under our tree, be it real or the metal one with that colorful wheel.  We never knew of the struggle or the monies spent for months to follow, to pay for it all. Life is simple through the eyes of a child or that is how it seemed when I was a kid. I was blessed with a Mom and Dad. A roof over our heads and a wonderful feast laid out on the kitchen table. 

For many years Thanksgiving was spent up here in New Hampshire with my Mother’s side of the family where all would come together as one and give thanks for what we had.  Back then I never gave thought of what others went through to pull it off.  They worked hard each and every day and lived within their means.  We had mini Christmas  that weekend as well because usually Dad would take us to his parents house for Christmas school break.

Dad worked all day and then worked on the car he would load up with presents which we never knew were ours, see what I mean about simple times. We were children who spent the days outside playing after school never giving a thought as too what the parents had going on.  No wonder they were stressed, I see that now. The car was packed with gifts for grandparents and us then in went all the clothes we would all need for a road trip to Nana and Grandpa’s.  You see I have since learned by trucking it was 660 miles each way.  With three rambunctious children and our dog Teddy. We made this journey from Massachusetts to Pennsylvania most Christmas holidays. Maybe that is where I found the love for the road.  Staying awake with Daddy driving in the middle of what I now know was blizzards, helping him keep track of the white line on the edge of the road.  He had his whole family with him in our old car with a piece of plywood on the folded down seat for us all to sleep.  Daddy never did and I am sure Mom tried to always stay awake so Daddy could as she was his company, on this journey.  So today with the saved tree from the dump with no gifts under it, I remain thankful for all I have ever had for it is more than many others never did. 

With Daddy gone and grandparents too as well as all but two Aunts and 2 Uncles my family now three brothers and my Mom, we no longer have those times together.  That is what I miss the most as this holiday nears FAMILY. 

Today I am thankful and grateful for all of you I follow and to those who follow me, for we are a family of sorts.  Sharing joy and happiness. Wonderful things to bake and make. We are there as well when sadness hurts so bad.  Thanks everyone for yet another year spent with you.

Peace On Earth Good Will To Men

 

XO

 

Daily Prompt: On the Edge/BALANCE

I spent years really living on the edge but a very slippery edge, indeed.

I was a trucker who worked and worked, never getting enough rest. I was young and fearless.

After a divorce and a bad wreck( no not of my doing, lol )thankfully, life for me was so very different.

I lost my balance. I fell. I fell into deep sadness. Yes I mucked about pretending all was well but clearly everyone could see how I had changed. I lost ME.

Well things are back on an even keel.

I have a blessed life.

I see that now.

I blog with people all over the world who have had such deep sadness in their lives. I also have some followers so full of joy, it is contagious.

You see I had stopped caring. I stopped LIVING.

When I found WordPress I was in search of who I was.

I had to pick a name for my new blog and it came easy, Living and Lovin, as that is really all I searched for.

I am here to tell you that I found it and then some.

I eat right now and actually exercise in the amounts I need. Balance it is a good thing.

I wake daily and with coffee see what blogging buddies are up too.

I eat breakfast and do the housework. For years I really had stopped caring.

I now work in my garden.

Play with the dog.

Have conversations with the love of my life.

I thought I had it all till sadly it was gone. My edge may have been different from yours but clearly living on the edge is hard for anyone eventually. It will catch up to you.

It has been a long winding road but finally no longer do I stand on a slippery slope of sadness and despair. No longer a part of the rat race of life. I have taken back who I really am. I wake each day thankful for all I have. I do stop to smell the ROSES, well all the flowers. How could I have gotten so far out of whack? Are others as well and still not knowing it?

For me it is about BALANCE.

Doing what needs to be done and making time for play.

I play usually with a camera in tow so now they can all see the change. Pretty dramatic even when I look back.

My wish for all of you is to find your balance. With work, love, life and play. When you are out of whack that is truly living on the edge.

PEACE

BE HAPPY

BE HAPPY

You asked if there were someone we would not want to read our blog and immediately I thought of my son.

Yes I do not mind if he looks at all the pretty photographs and all of your posts I have re-blogged.

Why I want him to KEEP OUT is I do not want him to know how much pain I used to be in.  See it is key that he gets to see

how very happy I am today.

Happiness spreads Joy and  Sadness spreads Pain.

We are both to BE HAPPY for the rest of our days.

So Keep Out

Mike

BE HAPPY!

Our Garden Club Work Continues

I really thought when I joined just two years back this gardening thing around our little town would be so easy.  You all see I know how to grow some real beauties so what’s the problem?

Well wanting something really badly,  sadly will not make it happen.  It takes members.  Men woman and children if need be!  You need a town who actually cares how they present themselves to the world. Sadly we were on a very slippery slope on that part.  Four sickening murders in just the time I have been here, 27 years.  All hitting the papers here and abroad.

This dream of mine to join was long overdue.   I wanted our small little town to care for one another.  Be a community.  Like the one I grew up in.  Sadly day in and day out I see the world around me not as it used to be.  Have people changed that much?  Do they no longer want what is best for their children.  Are they so busy working to see there are more important things in life than 3 cars, a  boat, 4 wheelers, motorcycles?  Toys all toys with no substance.  No family dinners as both parents work outside their home to pay for all the trips to the mall,  no one sews  clothes for their children anymore and if they do they are looked down upon and bullied.

So who was I to dream so big for my little town?  Well Eunice of course and you know what a wise woman told me if I wanted to do something do it myself for I was the only one I could count on boy was she right in the beginning  I placed my cell phone number up on a billboard in front of our town haul and waited for the phone to ring off the hook!   I had the town place an Ad on TV(towns private station)looking for members again adding my private number.  There were just three of us.  President of club walked out in a huff her best friend stayed as did I and the treasurer.  Now of us three I am the only one home and was nominated to be the secretary oh joy I wanted to get my hands dirty not make phone calls!

Another lady who works nights joined and made it a point to come to our once a month meetings on a Monday night the others came as well.  We made plans for plant sales, yard sales too!  You need money to make a town such as ours pretty and not ugly as was portrayed over and over in the news, in books and around the world in the papers.

Well We still have those who stayed in club from a year ago and just recently welcomed another woman.  She is a stay at home Mom and we love that she is young, loves to garden  and can do more than us older crippled members.

I ordered business cards and gave each of us 50 to start with.  Pass them around to local businesses they do business with.  I went knocking on doors as I am home all day.  I had a few positive meetings for things we can do down the road.

I received a wonderful email from our AD on TV who asked if he could donate some plants for our upcoming plant sales.  I told him we would love to accept his gracious gift and made plans for another member to help me.  The first load Ron and JT came with me as this was a stranger and wanted to make sure everything was on the level him not me I am too trusting.  We went and filled the whole bed of the pickup truck and there were many we could not get that trip.  I had one of the full-time workers go with me and filled the truck again!  Now we were a real garden club!  At the next meeting we set a plan in motion.  We would all meet on a Sunday morning at 8 AM and tear out a whole intersection with our hand tools what were we thinking!

We showed up with rakes, shovels trash bags and water.  Plants too,  a whole pickup truck load,  poor Ron no one else has a truck and you know me I am on a mission!

We pulled out the plants we could save and then we tore out grass, and bagged it to compost.  It was now noon and time to take a break three of us said we would meet back there at 6 PM to start placing the plants back into the rotten soil after we added some sphagnum to lighten it up with.  A friend of mine from town stopped to ask when I had gotten such a green thumb he knew me as only a female who owned and drover her own rig.  He had his own excavating company.  He asked if I needed anything and I said “Are you sure?”  yes he was sure so I asked for some nice rich organic soil.  Dream big I say!  He came back with his own dump truck and dropped us off a nice pile of loam.  We wanted a raised bed to keep plants protected from drivers and plows wait you know about the snow we get.

So here is when I will share with you a project done by first 4 then three woman from 8 AM till 8 PM with a few hour break in between for a cold drink and something to eat.
Hope you can see how it evolved into what it is now.

A mess

A mess

We had moved the pretty Urn here but sadly it was doing nothing for this corner downtown.  Before the grass came up it looked pretty for a few days.

Nice soil

Nice soil

When the two ladies met back at 6 PM they were happy to see Paul’s gift of rich soil.

We raked it down and shaped it.  Two of them lifted this heavy Urn up into the middle of the planting then we laid fabric down to keep weds in check.

We unloaded the truck and placed plants in a design the best we could and set about knocking them from their pots and cutting holes in the fabric where they would go into the new soil.  This is back-breaking work when you have a wrecked back to start with!

Till Dark

Two of us stayed till dark as you can see the lights across the way have come on.
We were tired both of us in our mid 50’s.  She with a desk job me with no job.

I came by the next day to check on our work

Needing Mulch Badly

 

 

We needed to mulch this area to complete the look, hold down the weeds and fabric as well.  Thankfully as we wrapped up the night before the rains began to fall gently upon our  new planting.

JT and I took 3 half pick up truck loads of mulch I had saved in my yard all winter  and added it to this space.  The parade would be days away and I wanted it to be complete for Memorial Day.

Done till Fall

Now some of you have seen these photos before others have not

Now I will show you some shots of what we have been up to all this summer no wonder I hurt so bad!

 

I scored FREE BARK MULCH FOR ALL OUR PROJECTS!

I went to a business the next town over who makes bark mulch, I used to love hauling mulch with my rig to all the local garden centers I miss my truck.  Well back to the story I asked if we could get the wholesale price as we were a tiny garden club next town over and really needed to find the best deal.  She says to me IS FREE GOOD?  You already know by this post   Thank You!   Only deal was they gave me a sign to promote their business well I was all alone to I said yes the deal was made and each and every corner will look the same and only cost Ron gas money to truck it back and forth!

 

Flower Boex for the downtown granite bridge

One of the members bought two 40 in long cedar window boxes we filled and put on our granite bridge downtown   so our color draws you through town.

 

 

Ok the last photo in my story is of a corner Lowe’s gifted us plants for last year but needed to fit in with the rest of what we had recently done so Ron dropped of 21 bags I think he said it was and I spread it to finish off the intersection closest to my home.

It really makes a difference

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

So yes a group of driven residents can make a difference little by little one corner at a time our little town is feeling more loved.

So what do you think is it worth our effort?

I hope with each planting we do there will be another member joining our team and another business climbing on board with us as you know I am not afraid to ask help from one out-of-town!

Thanks for reading this very long post had I known I would have done it in many segments
XO
Peace and Love to ALL of YOU

 

 

I was still injured but I needed a job.

I used to drive a “big rig”  but then I was hit,  by that bus.

I went through the savings which were sadly,  as in most case, s never enough.

I saw an Ad in a local paper for a Special Needs School Bus Driver,  surely I could drive a small van.

I applied for the position and they could clearly see my wounds but it was the ones inside that hurt the worst.
Due to my physical injuries I was given the troubled youths to transport to schools where they did not want to attend.

Many never even bothered  to get up and shower and dress for the day,  never mind step into the van.  Very sad.

One by one as they entered my school bus I introduced myself,  the one with the huge blue knee brace on.

I asked them to buckle up and not to swear (being a trucker at this point didn’t matter) I turned on music of their liking

just not gangster rap!

I knew they all had stories about how they ended up on a bus such as this.  I did too.

I showed them respect and demanded the same right back.  Friends were  worried about me alone with them.

So many scary stories you read about children such as this.  Remember they were the worst of the worst.

No one else at the bus company would drive them willingly.  So they gave them to the New Girl!

I had a run in the morning where they were still half asleep then again in the afternoon after no nicotine.

Yes some were angry.  Many had nice parents that just could not take it anymore and turned them over to the state.

Some lived with Grandparents God Bless them.

As the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into years, two of them, I healed. So did they.  We stopped listening

to music unless it was them singing to my great-niece in an infant seat while one played the guitar.  They had

me to smile and make them feel welcomed each morning and I was their ride away from that school each day.

I had a solid group of eight who had been tossed aside.

Told they would never amount to anything.  Have you been mad enough to say that to your child?

They were so talented in so many ways, I was so proud they stuck it out and rode both ways with me.  I will always

remember these young people who not only graduated but in the end helped me to heal all the hurt inside.

They all know that they were MY SILVER LINING.

I have seen signs of SPRING

I have seen signs of spring but mostly they have been in the blogs I follow and finally caught up with today.

It has been a busy week.

I turned another year older and 10 years wiser.

I had all my long hair cut off, before going to see my Mom for the meal she prepared,  in celebration of my birthday .

It was time,  it had gotten long and dried out with all the high lightening over the years and it was just not me any longer.  I needed a wash and go look not the wash and clip up look I had been rocking for over a year and a half, even my hairdresser  who lost her business to a fire, had found a place to work so that was not my excuse.  I had no excuse except being lazy and holding on to hair that no longer did a thing for me,  I guess you could say a RUT, a really deep one.

So knowing I would be heading south to spend the day with Mom and stylist having just gone back into her shop all shiny and new,  I asked if she had an opening early and she did,  she made it for me by starting work early.  I was one of her first steady customers when she came out of school in the mid 80’s.  I used to pull up in a rig and jump out run in for a wash, cut and blow dry then back later for high-light. Well Tuesday was different I hugged her while boyfriend and dog waited in truck and she washed my hair and then I said words I never had before MAKE IT SHORT and NO high Lights I am too old.  She assured me I was not but got the scissors out  and proceeded to rid my head of all those dried out locks.  It was half way down my back,  so I know it will grow back but now being 57 and looking forward to showing my art,  it was time not to appear to be a hippie.

The work was done,  there was a huge pile on the new wooden floor.  She had cut lots of layers all over my head as I have straight and fine hair so now I could blow dry on a round brush and then add curls with the small iron for lots of tight curls or the fat curling iron for some pretty bouncy curls.  I may even use my old curlers now and then.

Now just picture this I was always a blonde then I added more blonde highlights and now that they are all gone.  I am no longer going to be called Blondie maybe just  Eunice,  for a change.    I missed weigh-in on Tuesday but maybe down even more ounces without the extra length.  I am not used to having real short hair.   I did have a Twiggy Haircut back when Laugh-In was a big deal as was she.  From the days when Charlie’s Angels hit the TV with Farah my hair has always been just like hers,  it fit me.   Now that is a VERY DEEP RUT hey, lol.

 

So Ron was great with it for a man he is cool he knows I just want a fresh start and it can grow a little longer and still look pretty. Now I  was off to see what Mom would say.  I hugged her when I went into the house I grew up in, no coat on and friendly dog at my heel and she never noticed.  After I made a cup of coffee and helped her make some moves on her Words With Friends, yes she is now on Facebook, I asked “so do you like my hair?”  She looks at me and says what did you do to it then says OH, OH I like it what color is that?  I said my own to which she reminds me it was always pretty till I messed with it in the mid 70’s.  So then she says you have a rinse in it though right to cover the gray.  I burst out laughing and said no Mom 57 and no gray yet.  She has had beautiful white hair since she was 50!  I reminded  her she raised us four brats and I had dogs and  not back talking children.  When I left I think she still thought I had colored it my color I was when I was 18.  Now my hairdresser took photos and never got to me in time for this post and for that I am sorry and one I took in mirror I do not think is good enough but I did add it even though I know it could cause me to really lose my wonderful followers.’  I did add the photos as it would not be my blog without them.

 

100_3951

 

Nope this was 3 years ago highlighted  leaving Farrah behind

 

100_6759

 

Nope not this one either. This was 5 years ago when  I did my hair the night before I took this photo,  with strips of a brown paper bag, like back in the day when I used rags to roll my waist length hair up on the ends just to make it pretty when in a pony tail.

 

100_5868

 

Yes me above now down 70+ pounds and I want another  70 or 80 off but no longer can I hide behind the HAIR  I know I should have smiled pretty but I was worried about all those wrinkles  and the shower curtain, etc. behind me so I cropped all I could out sorry but I must say I feel liberated bathroom shot and all!

 

Now for the CAKE!

 

100_5865

Mom may be 77 but she still can make a beautiful ROSE and yummy cake maybe I will miss next weeks weigh in as well oh no wait I won’t have to there is SNOW TO SHOVEL as the storm is no upon us!

Now to get back to the POST Name

I hear the sounds of spring in the birds voices.

I see birds arriving that stay further south wait you got as much snow as we did last storm but really we are now seeing chipmunks and mom had greens tall ones for her Daffodils already up so certainly it will arrive soon as this bout of 6 inches melts and the other 12 inches follows suit and the huge snow bank under the Apple tree well she will bear fruit like crazy with no water shortage!

 

It was so nice to sit with my feet up and read your blogs well the ones I got to and to sit with you and let you know all is good I am getting so excited to start out fresh and full of  joy and a light heart,  head too.

Love you all and miss you too

Susan  B. still no blog listed on  my list for you :( HUGS I will locate you here or there though.

 

100_5476

From my beautiful snow-covered NH home to yours we shall talk soon!

Eunice

 

 

 

 

 

New England In Winter Wraps

Hi everyone.  No I am not lost but usually I shovel then suffer in pain but it is the workouts that have me seeing consistent success now at the scale on Tuesdays and is getting me closer to goal which will be a HEALTY weight never scrawny .  I need my strength to make it through my meditation as well as that new English Garden I will be working on if winter ever let’s go of her death grip up here.  No don’t worry just hard on old broken bodies but my sense of humor such as it is will get me to spring  oh and the rains!  Today NH is under the spell of another huge storm and why I am getting rains when others are getting twelve more, heavy wet inches of snow  I have no idea but you know I am so grateful for each and every drop for it is melting our snowpack and snow on the roofs is shrinking too he said it was too slippery to climb up yesterday which worried me with the weight of heavy wet snow ruining so many homes and businesses elsewhere.  Well I sold my conversion van and made another friend.  She too is an author with all of you here I follow and follow me I can surely get my three written!  I sold the van to get cash to fix my pick-up the one with the PLOW kind of late now as the birds are already singing their hearts out looking for the prettiest girls in town.  I will scrub hummingbird feeders again to make sure no dust has gotten into the bags I store them in and get the seeds started for my garden even if I have to grow in 5 gal. buckets or a pallet have you seen that on Pinterest?  I think this year I will even start Sunflowers in egg cartons or yogurt cups as I have plenty of empties and this way after the diet of black oil sunflower seeds I have been going through with my wildlife so far almost 400 lbs. of seed, they will not be able to dig up the ones I hide to line my yard with.  Hard to outsmart wildlife though I am sure something hungry will come for the green growth like us and our salad greens!

 

So how have you all been?  Life good or hard right now?  I love hearing from you all and that some of you are regular visitors to my Portfolio Blog  please me.  You can comment on any blog.  Tell me if you like certain photo or what you don’t like remember the only thing I have ever been a professional at is a driver, a big rig driver so you can help by chiming in .  Some of you know I have been selling my photos on FAA under  Eunice Miller  and that I even set up a Facebook page that will link my photographs I have placed for sale right to their site in most cases.  If you are artists that have begun to follow my blog thank you.  Blogging has made me a better photographer still not anything to write home about but me and my little Kodak Easy Share once in a while capture something pretty and moving to some besides me for which I am thankful for isn’t that why we decide to step out of our nice comfy spot at home and reach out to the world at large with art and words.  I would not have gotten to know you all had I not taken that very first step last Memorial Day weekend.  I am blessed by each and every one of you and I think you already know that by what we have shared.

 

Now it wouldn’t be a Living and Lovin  blog without a photo or two so this is what I have been thinking of

100_5574

 

My Lilacs in full bloom calling out to all the insects and pretty butterflies that adore them as much as I do even Ron loves them  JT loves to smell them she is a girl you know and all girls love pretty flowers.

100_5328

 

For the bees to arrive so my fruit trees will bless us and the wildlife who also love fruit.

 

100_5295

 

Now the Forsythia that are all over this place we call home are sure signs of SPRING arriving.

 

Now for this year along with the new English Garden area Ron will make me a sculpture as he was a welder for 35 years before retiring early with injuries.  I am thinking something in pretty copper but maybe a mix if they can be put together with the arc from his welding rod.  He is the pro so I will let him do his thing and praise the heck out of him because he is a good man to put up with me and so much sadness though it has gotten so much better since I have stopped hiding.  So look for a blog on his artist work in the future here.

I will also divide my Hostas  for an upcoming Garden Club Plant Sale in early May and take some new Lilacs and move them to my berm on the eastern side of my property  I will add some  shoots of Forsythia on berm as well because they will look beautiful as they grow and drape along this area with the Lilacs up above with a few little pretty shaped Pines.  It will provide me with Privacy yes but mostly block the Orange Fence(plastic snow fence) from my view while I sit and tend to my garden since I do not see her as ever taking it down,  even though it sits on the towns right a way.

So for now I will look and deal with the CRUD of Winter with visions of a beautiful spring!

 

100_5639

 

We will hang out by the sea a lot till them even on a lousy weather day we can always find a ray of hope here along the water’s edge.

 

Take care everyone and again stop in at anyone of my places here on the world-wide web, you are more than welcome.

 

Another Storm Brewing

100_5702

 

I took this photo yesterday along the river but facing out to sea.  It was beautiful over here, less wind then when JT and I tried to join her daddy on the ocean side, man was it cold and a very brisk wind.  Cold we can take but that constant wind is not good and I am bundled up, well  all but my weather-beaten face and to protect her from the harsh elements I have gone through my whole life,  we walked over here to take shelter from the storm that was brewing.

What a deceiving day.  It was so pretty to look at.  Made me what to shower and get dressed and head out with him.  I was down another two pounds on Tuesday weigh-in so I wanted to keep up the hard work.  Funny you see something working even if it causes pain I am the type that has always been tough and just pushed through it.  I am not saying it is smart , just saying more about who I am.

I have one month left before I leave and want to take in all my world has to offer.  I want to walk and spend time with them.  I will miss the three of them,  who share this home with me.  My son said he missed his pup but knowing she was with friends allowed him to take on the challenge himself so I will let go and trust.  JT loves me as much as Mike’s dog adores him but Mike does spend time during the day without his girl and JT is always beside me lol I am her person.  She watches over me and protects me even when I am not in danger so maybe after she gets over missing me for first few days she will become a dog again.   Something tells me we will be like that commercial that runs here,  of the lady coming back from war with her huge dog greeting her on the ground covering her with kisses, will also be played out here,  hell being on the floor meditating for 10 days 14 hours a day will have the ground being normal for me.  Wish me luck!  lol

 

OK back to the REAL STORM BREWING this morning I woke to a weather report saying maybe we would miss a big snowstorm Thank You for listening to my prayers this time now they say just three to four inches but wet snow this time.  JT loves catching snowballs she will be so happy.  Now I will show you a few photos from the river as the sea.  They are not my best and I am sorry I was freezing and will blame them on the wind!

Now look at the next pictures don’t them make it seem like it is just a beautiful day to SUNTAN

100_5707

Not a care in the world.

100_5706

A Loner lol no room for anyone else on this ones beach.

 

OK want to see some more again sorry shaking too much for really pretty ones but I am sure you will love them.

100_5680

 

Now the mighty Atlantic Ocean was really churning and so frothy.  The storm was still a twelve-hour ride away down in Virginia.   So I really thought we would be getting another NEMO like storm.  Looks can be deceiving right beautiful blue sky pretty colorful sea. BRRRRRRR

 

100_5662

Wind blown JT waits for me to throw a hefty stick to her.  No FRISBEE in these winds.

100_5660

 

Well you can see she is tiring of me and my photos time to go for a walk

 

100_5655

 

100_5714

 

Have a nice weekend
 

 

Hi Everyone

Well today is the day before my son’s birthday.  So many years ago I was contemplating my motives and listening to my heart. Not knowing the next day would be labor and he would come into the world.  That he was healthy was all that mattered to me.  I took good care of myself while pregnant.  Lots of woman had children, I would be OK.  Never knew how sadness could destroy a soul,  hell I was young,  so very young.  This is a photo of me 2 years before. My High School Year Book photo with  wet hair and clothes as it poured when me and Mom were walking in Lowell,   a rain cloud opened up no big deal I didn’t want a photo or to be in the book.

 

100_5572

 

Grandma had given me the pretty silver spoon.  It was a pin meant to be worn and I adored her,  so I did.  Who knew in the 80’s things such as this were used for drugs.  In fact since I was never into drugs,  cocaine never entered my thoughts as I gave my copy of this photo to Mike.  He saw the spoon and guess it took on a different meaning never knowing who I was or for that matter who I really am now.  Do not know how he was raised but they were older than me so maybe they were wild in the 60’s  I still pray they were not.

So this is a story on us the we that never was to be.    I do not know anything really about Mike except he grew up not to far from me.  He could have been a wild child.  I was so young I never thought they would tell him he was not theirs.  Why would they he was 3 days old.  Then for him to turn 18 and get angry I was not at the door asking for him.  See heartache was not mine and mine alone.  I know I would never take the life of a child through abortion unless it could not live but I am here to say that must be a hard decision to make,  same as the one I did.  I wanted him to have two loving parents and I trusted this older woman at the adoption agency to only allow good people to come through that door and fill out applications swearing they would be.  I chose the couple from a book full of smiling faces who all said they wanted a baby of their own.  Well I hand-picked his,  if she told me the truth.  I have grown a lot since then and know too much.  I know one thing for certain they paid a lot to get a blonde haired blue-eyed,  white male baby in 1977,  that was healthy and weighed  8  lbs  9 oz.  I doubt he ever went a day in his life without being given every opportunity possible for a young man. Life was good!  I made that life he had possible.  With God watching over me all these years I know I did right by him , they were not me but they had to love him.  Then they had a child of their own,  a daughter not sure how that came to be I really don’t care I am just glad he was not an only child,  he had a little sister.  Sure the dynamics of his life must have changed for him , he was only 2 or 3 but he had a family.

 

Now to the part where we meet by phone.  I emailed the agency and asked if they knew if he was OK,  I had just lost my Dad and had the need to know.  She called right back when I hit send, asking me “Where have you been your son has been looking for you?”  First thought was WHY?  Come on he was 32 years old.  They had my parents contact information all those years and never a word.  Maybe the time was not right.  Maybe he never cared to know who I was or who his birth family was.  Remember he had EVERYTHING.   So I take down the information she said he left for me and I hang up the phone.  She gave me his and his parents information so I wrote to them.  I asked if he was OK and if they were OK with him wanting me to call or write him.  They never bothered to write to me so of course I had the story worked out in my head already,  I knew all the answers. Funny how we can do that.  Next thing I did was make the call to the numbers he left and just said “Hi it’s Eunice I got a message from agency to call you.”  Pretty short and sweet   Scared to death all he wanted to do was scream at me for giving him to them.  When he did not call back that day yes I was expecting he would,  he is the one who said if she shows up please have her contact me, so I sat and wrote a letter , really too long and gut wrenching with too much family information included for him  as I now look back on it.  I figured if he had changed his mind about wanting to speak to me at least he would know who I was and who his uncles and grandparents were.  Medical stuff too.  I have spent many days since then wishing I had never called the agency.  No one needs to visit deep pain over and over it doesn’t do any good and for me it has been horrible.  Had they just said he had a wonderful life and I should be so proud,  it would have been so much better.

 

So finally Mike, that is what they named him, called me.  He was happy from doing some wild things while on skis out on his mountain range.  He said he had been scared to call me.  WHY?  This has been my question since learning about him from agency.  Remember he is 32 always knew or from age 2 or 3 that he was adopted so why now at 32 was he still so worried about ME?

We talked for hours and hours and learned what anyone could through a phone.   That was in March of 2008.   Then in May that year for Mother’s Day he sent me a beautiful email with photos of him and his dog.  Then a few more calls,  then nothing.  So he was all set but I wasn’t.

I finally was hurt enough to leave a message or email can’t really remember now saying when he grew up to come see me.  Get the answers face to face.  See who I really was.

He showed up that October days before Halloween and we spent the afternoon together at the beach him and I and the two dogs while Ron detected and gave me my space.  We had a lunch together,  seafood like this is not really the same out west.

100_5575

 

 

I told him to go back to his family in Maine they would be worried sick about him,  he didn’t want to leave but my heart was hurting and I just wanted to go home.  We hugged each other goodbye. We have not spoken since.  Emails yes but no calls.  His parents went off the deep end when he got back to their summer home on the island.  It destroyed him and his joy that day.  So he shuts me off to not hurt them.

That following Feb. 19th a woman calls me asking how to get to my home she has a delivery for me I laughed and told her not me I didn’t order anything.  She assured me I would welcome her.  She arrived and she was the driver for a florist.  She delivered a bouquet of long stem Red Roses in a tall Red glass vase with a beautiful card from Mike thanking me for having him.   I sent an email thanking him.

Years passed by and still no calls .  Only word from him was an occasional  email. Maybe I am just not the make believe Mother he had made up in his head too bad as actually I am so much better than an imaginary one.

 

Then he joined Facebook and I could see his artwork that he did with spray paint.  He is very talented.  Hard on himself yes.  All artists are deep and troubled aren’t they .

 

Here is something he sent me, made by him just two Christmases ago or was it three.

100_5568

 

I love the artwork he shares  where he lives,  as well as opening up finally on his  own  Artist Facebook page.  I know it is not easy for him to share.

He doesn’t understand when I say I want no more art for my home.  I can’t take anymore pain from loss.  I know I was a strong trucker for so many years but with wreck  I had in 2000 and all that has taken place since I am just happy to be alive and know he is as well.

So tomorrow it is his birthday and I will not wish him a happy birthday as it is their day.  He is theirs.  So yes it has always been a horrible day for me to get through and usually I walk the local beach as I did so long ago, well 36 years ago.  Happy Birthday to Mike.  I do wish him the very best.

So now you know the story and why I will welcome the retreat he went to and wants the love for me.  Hell I want the LOVE FOR ME it has been too long!

Sorry for such a heavy post but every action has a reaction doesn’t it.

Love you all.
Thanks for all the support you always show me.

 

 

JT’s Adventures ……part one

Peace………..coming slowly

100_4128

 

As a new year begins for me alongside this stream I feel like the time is coming to share a few personal things with you.

No not that personal  well then again maybe.

You know insight, a reason for still being here.  I thought I could hide behind a few pretty pictures but a few have seen through my exterior and are behind me hiding but also know in time my story will come to light.  I am really writing a few books, I have the words all in my head now to make them come out the way you who write do.  Guess that is my fear that in telling a story  the reason for it gets lost in the wrong words as I am not a writer maybe more a story-teller, again hiding the real heartbreak.

So 35 years ago I was a month away from having my baby.  No way of knowing the sex back then.  I was just 21 and the baby’s father wanted me to have an abortion.  Are you kidding me,  this is what you say to a young woman you have known all your life.  A girl next door.  One you had unprotected sex with not once but two times.  I was devastated that I was pregnant and unmarried me the good girl, the Girl Scout,  the Rainbow Girl.  I do not know what I wanted him to say as he was not marriage material,  I knew that but we were friends.  He was a year older and had lived a troubled life,  I know I have to stop making excuses for him.  So I grabbed the cash that was offered to FIX IT and drove home in tears.

 

I told no one. Only he and I knew.  I did tell him before walking out with the cash to NEVER come near me again.

I went to a clinic finally in my six month.   I then told my Mom in the seventh month I guess that way no one could do a thing about it,  like what he had suggested.   My Mom was upset but I was 21 and living out on my own and working sixteen hours each day.  What she did not know till my eighth month was that I had gone down to a local adoption agency and had picked new parents out for my baby, who had yet to be born.

Her sister had cancer and could not have babies and had adopted two little boys that she adored.  She made a difference in their lives.  Two boys from two different mothers.  Her world was complete.  I knew I would be a great mom I was awesome with children but I could not be a dad as well.  My child deserved the best in life and I set out alone to make that happen.  Twenty one really was young back then to do all that thinking alone.  The ocean became my favorite place to go and walk in tears or sit and think and pray to God for him to watch over this child.

So in my eighth month I asked Mom to go to the adoption agency and sign the papers as a witness.  I look back now and think what a horrible person I must have been to make her sign below my name giving up the first grandchild.  She wanted me to bring home the baby and with their help I could do it she assured me I could but it was my child and I wanted more for it.  She never spoke to my dad about signing the papers and when he took me to the hospital in labor that Saturday morning he had no idea what I was doing.  I knew I had disappointed them and brought shame upon them but I always made it better in my mind knowing I had chosen life for my child and a home where they wanted a baby so bad because they could not have their own. I am not sure my parents ever truly forgave me in their hearts as it was never spoken about again.  You see I  was all alone at the hospital in labor doctor said I could still change my mind,  it was my baby. Nurses held my hand as I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy. Blonde hair and Blue eyes.  He weighed 9 lbs. 8 oz. I had him completely natural. I swore to God that day I would do anything  and go through what ever hell I had to as long as he  always watched over my baby.

That baby will be thirty-six come February.   Yes I met him over the phone when he was 31. A year and half later he drove into my front yard here along this stream, where he said a Great Blue Heron had welcomed him.  He may have been away from me for thirty-one years but without a doubt he is truly my child.  He is so beautiful ok handsome and such a beautiful artist and I will be sharing all I can about him,  with you,  because he has made a beautiful ending that all stories should have.

 

Now there will be some more stories I will share with you  that you can be sure of  but my days are numbered with you,  hiding behind photos.  I will really kick it into gear to sell them as cards, puzzles or prints. You see I really am writing a few books when I can sit with less pain in my heart .

Thank you Chris another blogger who knows another part of my life through our blogging but this is where the life I lead began and it where I really had to begin the story from,  as after thirty-one years  I finally know WHY.  Why I was who I was.  Why I allowed others to do what they did to me but you know what there is a very happy ending and I thank God for making that possible.  There have been many  times in my son’s life and mine that  had things gone differently we never would have held each other and kissed or felt complete.

 

Thanks for listening

Eunice

A Frisky Cat As Storm Arrived

100_3995

 

She is playing Peek A Boo.   I better watch out she is 12 and now acting like a kitten again.   I am blessed with such beautiful animals but I bet you may have heard me say that already, sorry

 

100_3997

 

When Mom gave us her cats old tower I never thought ours would love it as she does.  Her cat and ours are the same age but I think Mom said he didn’t like it anymore because she is 77 and not up to chasing him around much anymore.  This toy was attached to the huge tower and as you can see our little girl is full of playfulness

 

100_3998

 

She is watching me take her photos and really waiting for me to wiggle it again so she can KILL IT

 

100_3999

 

THE LOOK!  I better watch my hands and face

 

100_4000

 

She has now turned away from me and her toys and is watching all those pretty Chickadees, Nuthatches, Blue Jays, Juncos, Finch and pretty Red Cardinals.  The birds are loving that an area has been cleared of two days worth of snow and I have spread on top of the snow some fresh seed for the ground eaters.

 

Not sure if I told you this cats story I must get my scanner plugged in so I can show you her and her sister who an old boyfriend saved from a woman who was going to do away with.  Yes kill.  He came home from work and walked in with a picnic basket I looked at him kind of strange and he said I brought you something.  How nice a basket for me to fill with goodies he wants me to cook oh I love those kinds of gifts no really this was very odd flowers all the time picnic baskets no.

 

He sat it down on the couch and he told me to check it out and when I opened it there were two tiny 3 or 4 week old kittens huddled together inside, scared.  I had lost my 15  year old cat not long before and missed Rocky so much.  These two had the same markings but this ones sister was Gray.  They were so beautiful.  They did everything together.  They would climb up us and knead our clothes and suck on our clothing,  they missed their Mommy and I would need to get their food soft enough for them to lap up.  I also started giving them a quarter size of Half and Half this kitty up above still 12 years later knows when my coffee is ready she gets her treat.

Now when he brought these two home  we had 3 of my dogs still alive plus I told him to bring his dog over to join my family pets.  I have to tell you these four dogs were the most gentle dogs I have ever seen.  My three were hunting dogs, Springer Spaniels and his was a mix which was the goofiest  dog I had ever met.  Just a happy go lucky dog he was  sort of like his owner.  Add laughter here.  Now back to the two kittens when the dogs would come in wet they would lay for hours licking the dogs paws dry.  I am serious this place I live is amazing.  They were lost when all 3 dogs were put down at 13 to 15 years old somehow they all got so old their lives were spent in horrible pain and they were ready.  I went maybe a year or two without a dog it was hard.

 

Now for the sad part just after we brought JT home from a farm in VT all of us were out playing in the yard the two cats, the puppy and us.  It was end of June and cats stayed out for hours running the yard or sunning themselves.  When we went in for the night I yelled for the two cats Rhythm and Blues to come in yes they were cats but came when called just like they were dogs.  Rhythm came running and Blues didn’t that was odd they were always joined at the hip.  I yelled for her over and over and the current man in my life (last man) said she will be back but she never was.  She was the most loving of the two and adored the dogs had she had a run in with a Fisher Cat or a Fox I didn’t know about the Coyotes being out back, back then.  Ron said he had seen a huge Owl as well.  They were smaller type barn cats.  We have Hawks too.  The worst part,  night after night for me,  was calling out to see if I could hear her cries, I never did. It tore me to pieces the not knowing what had happened to our loving and trusting cat.

So this cat above now follows me like she is a dog.  She stays with us on walks like she knows.  With the snow for last few days she has not wanted to go out not sure if it the deep snow on her feet or the winds kicking up a scent of something evil lurking close bye but I am happy she choose to spend more time inside with us.  I know she is old now but cats can live a lot longer than dogs so I am hoping for more days with her up upon her new cat tower.

 

When her and JT are no longer here with us there will be no more pets for me,  I just can’t the GOODBYES.

PS I forgot to tell you at twelve she still wants to knead our clothing and suck on us  kind of odd but I do allow it till her claws start to poke my skin  then she is placed beside me much to JT’s disgust she is not like the other dogs in my past she doesn’t like to share.

 

 

 

 

Originally posted on News 92 FM | Official Site for Houston News, Traffic, Weather, Breaking News:

Wedding Rings

(Credit: Andrew C./SXC)

Douglas Benedetti, a snow chain installer, stopped on a highway in Blue Canyon, Calif., to help a man frantically sifting through the snow looking for his lost wedding ring.

Unable to find it, the man gave up and drove off but Benedetti, equipped with headlamp continued the search and found it on his own. Now he just needs to find the man who lost it:

“It happened so fast. I’ve never been married but I know that if a husband loses his wedding ring, someone else is going to be very upset,” Benedetti said.  “I decided to go look for the ring because I knew approximately where it was.

“I was hunting with my headlamp and hand light. It took me less than an hour and I found it next to a semi-truck. It was slightly submerged in the snow.”

Get Breaking News On Your Phone…

View original 20 more words

Originally posted on recoveryhealth™ - A Perfect Balance Of Health & Beauty™:

“maGic”™ – The Art Of Arts

A Perfect Balance Of Health /// Beauty™

  1. Very simple.
  2. Very much effective.
  3. An amazing combination of Level, Movement, Twist and Timing.
  4. Miraculous results.
  5. Effortless exercise for everyone.
  6. No waste of physical energy.
  7. No any side effects.
  8. Only 5 minutes everyday.
  9. Watch And Download Video From Download Page & Side Bar.
  10. More Images and Video publish shortly.

Protected by Copyscape DMCA Copyright Detector

View original

nutsfortreasure:

From another who knows true love

Originally posted on Collies Of The Meadow:

299567_2550543367602_772842029_nTrevor Forever with Tigger……

“If you open your heart to let dogs in, you will eventually be blessed with a once in a lifetime chum. It isn’t that you love your others dogs any less, but rather you love this one special animal more. The bond between the two of you is stronger, the connection deeper, the understanding clearer.”
-Kristina Marshall from FOREVER FRIENDS

I have been blessed with three of them whom I have lost.. I have my fourth one now…..Trevor Forever is perhaps the most unusual and unlikely collie to be one of these dogs…. in a kennel in a barn till 5, he then ran free in a outside kennel with lots of friends till 7… then he came to me and adopted me….  I can;t imagine what he would’ve been if he could’ve been with us from the time of being a pup…… this picture speaks…

View original 363 more words

LATE COLOR

End of Season Color

 

 

 

RED and GREEN

 

All others were Brown or void of leaves so this tree sitting in the sun on a beautiful Saturday morning was a treat for ME

 

 

Such a Pretty Tree

 

Seems I have done my share of blogs with TREES but this type I LOVE it is very much ALIVE! lol

 

Image

As he searched for treasure in and around the boulders and gravel I found GOLD in a

friendship with Marie.

There may have been 3 vehicles parked in the shade along this stretch of route 112

but the woman in both made their way over to say hello and to say h to JT.

This part of the story will focus on Marie.  She said she was from MA in an area I used to go to once a

day, in my Big Rig.

I was siting  in a chair throwing sticks or a frisbee to JT  and told her about my back and she said she

knew my pain.

In fact today was the first time she had left the home with her husband for fun in 8 years.  She had been

hurt in an accident at work, boy could we relate.

We talked and talked and tears flowed from both of us.

We knew each others pain.

She saw me as strong . It was not till we spoke she knew I too, was broken.

She has to go through exactly what I had gone through for 10 years for her ,now

8. years of hell.   I told her to hang on it would soon be over.

It is what they do to hard workers who get hurt and go after them for damages.

They want us to give up and God knows I came close more than once.

She has to fight for disability.  I told her how.  I asked her to please just not to give up.

After hugging her and telling her it would be OK my mate saw us crying and said

“Do you know each other?” he was smiling as this happens so much he is used to it.

Marie told him I was so special and he smiled again and said he knew.  He also told her

this happens to me a lot now that  I have started to really LIVE my life again.  I am glad

it is with him.

So I let Marie know how to reach me.  I do not know if she will  but one thing I am sure of

is the fact she left that river’s edge a little stronger inside.  She needed to meet someone who had gone

through the pain and depression and had come out the other side.  Yes battered and bruised but no

longer busted and broken.   I refused the drugs finally and am finally Living and Lovin   ( the name of my

BLOG )

Determination

Determination

So Loved.

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

She Loves being in mid-air, I am the one with her toy so after I toss it I quickly bring the camera up and try to capture her catches we work good  together

Image

I always let her have her rest.

Image

I am sure you can tell she is loved and cared for.

Yesterday we took her for a long ride, in the new truck.

We timed it so we could hit a local beach that would allow her to play, as long as she was on a leash, I must remember to buy one of those long leads.  I had her leash that goes out and winds back up but it was so hard to play in the surf with her on it.  I was afraid I would be brought down by her doing her  BC moves,  All was good she was so happy and so many made comments about what a joy it was to watch such a happy dog.  That she is ,as long as she is with us and PLAYING ,lol.  Thanks for checking out my photos of her.

Peace

Reunited

A young man looses his high school ring at the beach.

My treasure hunter finds it.

I do some investigating to locate the owner.

We are able to see him put it back on his hand where it belongs!

Perfect ending.

REUNITED

Doll Carriage Parade

This was me as a young girl. (Yes me who turned out to be a tractor trailer driver).

Mom helped me get all dressed up, she even made an outfit like mine for my doll Crissy..

She also did up my doll’s carriage to match our outfits.  Crepe Paper is AMAZING!

 

There was going to be a parade!

 

We had just 15 homes on our dead end road and most had  2 to 5 children in each.

The girls pushed their decorated carriages and the boys made their bikes look better with baseball cards in the

spokes, .which made a noise that made them feel special and wild.

Kids from others streets who played at the end of our road could also come and join in.

 

I got a ribbon for all of Mom’s hard work but I will never forget some of the others and how they came.

 

Such fond memories of days like this.  Where did those days go for the children of today.?  They are so busy doing

so many different things, that they no longer know how to relax and play and enjoy their youth.  They need no

imagination.

 

  I do not know how others feel but I miss the simple things in life for them.  A Mom and Dad and siblings

all living under the same roof and sitting down to supper together..

 

Yes we did not have Xbox’s, TV’s in each room, phones pressed to our ears or for that matter  much of today’s

trappings, what we had was FUN and LOVE or maybe it was just my house.

 

I am glad I lived back then, as it has made me the woman I am today..

GRATEFUL.

 

 

 

 

kikontheroad

There are no foreign lands. It is the traveler only who is foreign – Robert Louis Stevenson

Foodie on a Dime

The adventures of one girl, eating well, on a budget

Kit Dunsmore's Blog

Creating a Handmade Life, One Moment at a Time

Moments with Millie

Where words come to reside.

The Mountain Library

A reading list on mountaineering, mountain travel, culture and fiction, and observations on other creativity inspired by high places.

J. Gazo-McKim

I love the interplay of colour and texture

inesepogagallery

NATURE ART, DRAWING AND PAINTING

Colline's Blog

A potpourri of thoughts and experiences

Avian101

"My Backyard Visitors" - All about birds - The world is my backyard!

PI Photography and Fine Art

Find the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Mix 104.1

Boston's Best Variety

Optimystical

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. ~ Rumi

composerinthegarden

The intersection of music and the garden as parallel creative art forms

NH Fish and Game Radio Diner

Connecting you to life outdoors

Time To Be Inspired

Indulge in Creativity

trikatykid & the dog

swim | bike | run | adventure | quilt | write

Life Is a Damn Circus

...And We Are The Circus Acts

Infinitefreetime.com

The blog of Luther M. Siler, Teacher/ Word-maker-dude/ Wanker for hire

Moondustwriter's Blog

penned with moon dust

antryump

"A Blog worth reading "

O' Canada

Reflections on Canadian Culture From Below the Border

mamacravings

everything a mama could want

Garden of Eve

Growing my own, from garden to table.

mejfote

life fashion & more

MARVA SEATON BLOG

Lifestyle, Social Media, News, Commentary, Words of Hope and Inspiration

Learning to snap

Learning photography in New Zealand

Uncle Tree's House

Putting music to words, and words to pictures ~

Flowery Prose

Growing words....

Martha Keim-St. Louis' blog

watercolor and things that fall out of my fingers, art, watercolor, words

Frank Martyn

Inken Thought

The Karen Gibson Roc Blog

ALL THINGS POETIC

Miss Lou Acquiring Lore

Gallery of Life...

Juju Films

Cutting edge Multimedia Programming

Live & Learn

David Kanigan

eljaygee

just another fauxtography blog

food & foto

with audrey michelle

Beyond the Scribbles

The Sharpie Interns' Blog

Beady-Eyed Beth

Where I share my works in progress and news.

dibeads.com

Beads, Jewelry and Craft Supplies

Freshly Pressed: Editors' Picks

Just another Wordpress.com weblog

Streaming Thought: Polymer Clay Expressions

Just another WordPress.com site

Carole's Writing Blog

My journey........

kikontheroad

There are no foreign lands. It is the traveler only who is foreign – Robert Louis Stevenson

Foodie on a Dime

The adventures of one girl, eating well, on a budget

Kit Dunsmore's Blog

Creating a Handmade Life, One Moment at a Time

Moments with Millie

Where words come to reside.

The Mountain Library

A reading list on mountaineering, mountain travel, culture and fiction, and observations on other creativity inspired by high places.

J. Gazo-McKim

I love the interplay of colour and texture

inesepogagallery

NATURE ART, DRAWING AND PAINTING

Colline's Blog

A potpourri of thoughts and experiences

Avian101

"My Backyard Visitors" - All about birds - The world is my backyard!

PI Photography and Fine Art

Find the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Mix 104.1

Boston's Best Variety

Optimystical

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. ~ Rumi

composerinthegarden

The intersection of music and the garden as parallel creative art forms

NH Fish and Game Radio Diner

Connecting you to life outdoors

Time To Be Inspired

Indulge in Creativity

trikatykid & the dog

swim | bike | run | adventure | quilt | write

Life Is a Damn Circus

...And We Are The Circus Acts

Infinitefreetime.com

The blog of Luther M. Siler, Teacher/ Word-maker-dude/ Wanker for hire

Moondustwriter's Blog

penned with moon dust

antryump

"A Blog worth reading "

O' Canada

Reflections on Canadian Culture From Below the Border

mamacravings

everything a mama could want

Garden of Eve

Growing my own, from garden to table.

mejfote

life fashion & more

MARVA SEATON BLOG

Lifestyle, Social Media, News, Commentary, Words of Hope and Inspiration

Learning to snap

Learning photography in New Zealand

Uncle Tree's House

Putting music to words, and words to pictures ~

Flowery Prose

Growing words....

Martha Keim-St. Louis' blog

watercolor and things that fall out of my fingers, art, watercolor, words

Frank Martyn

Inken Thought

The Karen Gibson Roc Blog

ALL THINGS POETIC

Miss Lou Acquiring Lore

Gallery of Life...

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,525 other followers

%d bloggers like this: