Tag Archive: Loss


Philomena

Originally posted on Spirit Lights The Way:

Philomena shares the story of a young unmarried pregnant girl who, after being sent in disgrace to a convent by her father, agrees to put her son up for adoption.

Fifty years later, after seeking help from recalcitrant nuns to find her grown son, Philomena (played by Judi Dench) enlists the aid of a journalist (Steve Coogan) to help her track him down.

This touching comedic film, based on a true story, is not a documentary ~ it takes dramatic license and liberties in depicting historical events.

The creative blending of fact and fiction enhances the story line, allowing us to see how Philomena reconciles the nuns’ apparent lack of compassion without losing her deep and abiding faith.

Judi Dench reveals the amazing power of forgiveness to transform and heal.

Aah . . . that’s better!

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We have had a few days where it got warm,  well warm after what we have dealt with.  Then we had ice and I mean horrible stuff! We would chop and chop when the sun warmed it and then while we rested each evening,  it would freeze up all over again.

I know before long it will be just and ugly memory.   Soon we will  be seeing  joy spread across our country and gardens bloom once again.  It will fill us with hope and warmth,  which is where I am at today.

Some of you who  follow me on Facebook know the story,  as do most who have read my stories from long ago.  You know I got hurt bad but I survived.  I have loved and lost only to love again.  It really is just basic life isn’t it. Ups and downs,  give and take.

 

  Well the electric bill is so high and 100 gal. of propane cost over $440 and lasts but 3 weeks if we are lucky.  We live on a fixed income, as we are both retired and the checks we get each month are divided up for all of our bills.  Sometimes we can do something fun and other times we find fun close to home. We are better off than many but still poor when it comes to income brought in, so when they refused to bring me more propane on Friday or even to let me order another 100 gal.because we had a $160.00 balance and no income till 8 days later I had to ask the town for help and then I had to do what I tried not to do. I had to ask for fuel assistance.

Now if you know me you know that  it angers me to have to request help.  I am hit by someone doing something wrong and left unable to make the income I used to depend on and they go about their business,  still driving a bus and making good money.  I guess I go from angry to sad but on this day something changed.  I mentioned to the woman taking our application for help that maybe when I hit 60 I could get the Social Security I worked so hard for, as I was the surviving spouse. She looked at me and asked if they said those exact words to me and I answered yes.  She asked me to go home and call the government office as she believed it meant my ex-husband  had died and I was entitled to it now.  Well I did and they confirmed he had indeed passed away and I would now get his check if it was more than mine.  So I made an appointment  for after my birthday and in between surgeries to bring in my marriage certificate into them so they had proof we were married the required amount of years.  Now remember I drove a rig over three million miles and worked hard and missed out  on so many things others enjoyed,  because I LOVED trucking.  So once I go in with this certificate,  I will find out if I can come off State aid and really that is all I am praying for.  I want to be independent again.

While going through paperwork looking for a piece of paper I thought I had thrown away in 1995 I came across so many documents I would no longer need. So out came the paper shredder and I began to rid myself of all that really no longer mattered.  With each piece that got fed through the blades, the weight of it all was not only freeing but sad.  I guess after having a restraining order for over 15 years on him and holding on to all of our records just in case I would need them was 14 years too long.  I made a dent in the massive boxes of trucking paperwork we had amassed in our 15 years of marriage.  The first load was placed into the compost bin where it will sit and be covered by kitchen scraps and breakdown into something good.  It will become beautiful rich soil, for new life to grow  in.  I could not think of a better way to deal with all of this.

So with all of this on my plate I will wander in and out of my blog adding a new one here or there as time allows for and a few interesting blogs from those I follow.  I will do more of this purging and cleaning and letting go and spend my days feeling free from worry.  I will smile more I am sure.  I am sad he destroyed so much and in the end himself but I will pray for him to finally be able to rest in peace, as it is what I wish for each and every troubled soul.

I will continue to read your blogs in my readers,  WP and Feedly and try to keep up,  as I love you all and what you do is important.  You keep it real, you show us pretty places and you write so eloquently. I love the poetry and the stories you tell and I will forever be thankful for the kindness you have shown me.  I am not going anywhere just trying to get my act and home in order so I can have the procedures done and put my feet up in the sun with all of you and enjoy what life has in store.

Talk again soon

 

nutsfortreasure:

So sad saying prayers for all of those involved I was blessed to never be involved in one of these but saw a handful in 27 years :(

Originally posted on fox4kc.com:

[ndn video id=25552755]

(CNN) — Three people were killed Thursday in a 30-vehicle pileup on Interstate 94 in northern Indiana during whiteout conditions, according to state police.

More than 20 people were sent to area hospitals, including one person with life-threatening injuries, according to Sgt. Ann Wojas of Indiana State Police.

LaPorte County was experiencing heavy snow and extreme cold and winds.

Police said half of the vehicles were tractor-trailers.

Police Lt. Pete Wood said it could take 12 to 24 hours until things get back to normal on I-94. Motorists were urged to find alternative routes.

By Susanna Capelouto

CNN’s Carma Hassan contributed to this report.

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Originally posted on KFOR.com:

CHINA – A story out of China is sure to pull on the heart strings of any animal lover.

Last sunday (Dec 22), a little white dog was killed in the middle of the street by a passing car.

A brown dog stayed by its side for the entire night, despite temperatures dropping well-below freezing, according to reports.

A resident saw the dogs and placed a stool next to them so that passing traffic wouldn’t hit them.

Eventually, restaurant owners nearby took the dead dog away and buried it under a tree in a city park.

The brown dog followed them until his friend was buried.

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Originally posted on coastlinesproject:

http://www.seattlepi.com/news/us/article/95K-without-power-in-Northeast-due-to-ice-storm-5085798.php

Read more in; Storm Surge; A Coastal Village Battles the Atlantic, Beach Wars; 10,000 Years on a Barrier Beach and The View From Strawberry Hill; Reflections on the Hottest Year on Record. See Strawberry Hill, UPNE, and Schiffer book tabs at the top of this page.

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Twitpic – Share photos and videos on Twitter.

So many things to be thankful for we just need eye to see them

Happy Thanksgiving EVERYONE

XO

Eunice aka nutsfortreasure

 

One Year Grieved

nutsfortreasure:

JT got so sick but I was able to get her through and well this time :( She now will eat peaanut butter on a spoon or a Milk Bone and if I hear they are involed law suit will begin we love our babies and need more to stand up for them

Originally posted on Family Survival Protocol - Microcosm News:

 

treats

Thursday, October 24, 2013
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
Editor of NaturalNews.com (See all articles…)

(NaturalNews) Thousands of family dogs across the USA have been sickened by pet jerky treats made in China, and nearly 600 dogs have died. The FDA has issued a warning over the deadly jerky treats but has not forced any sort of product recall.

So far, the cause of the fatalities remains a mystery. The FDA says it has tested jerky treats for heavy metals, pesticides, antibiotics, chemicals and even Salmonella but cannot find the cause. The agency is warning pet owners to watch their pets for symptoms of poisoning which may include “decreased appetite, decreased activity, vomiting, diarrhea (sometimes with blood or mucus), increased water consumption and / or increased urination.”

Click here to view the FDA’s fact sheet on contaminated jerky treats.

According to USA Today, the deadly…

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nutsfortreasure:

I have done a blog on this place as well I LOVE PLUM ISLAND

Originally posted on coastlinesproject:

The Unraveling
Plum Island
October 10, 2013

Strands of the Plum Island story started to unravel in early autumn. On September 30th Newburyport City Councilor Richard O’Sullivan proposed that the Council release details of a closed-door session it had held about the Plum Island water and sewer system.

The water and sewer system was the reason that so many houses had been remodeled into year round dwellings driving the prices of the houses on the primary dune up from $3,000 to close to a million dollars. But the system had lost pressure on several occasions stranding the homeowners without water or sewer services. Several of the water mains were under the streets that had eroded during the winter storms and nobody knew if the system had failed because of the storms, faulty construction, or both.

The city was trying to decide whether to sue Camp Dresser McKee the engineering firm…

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nutsfortreasure:

I only give JT ones made for us :)

Originally posted on fox4kc.com:

[ooyala code="VsOWJiZzp1oYmlPlUC7iepnLp-4kUEWb" player_id="99b31ca60977447aac65383d61b8503b"]

(CNN) — The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has a message for veterinarians and pet owners: If dogs or cats get sick after eating jerky pet treats, let us know.

The agency says it’s received reports of more than 3,600 dogs and 10 cats that got sick after eating jerky pet treats since 2007. Of those cases, the FDA says, more than 580 pets have died.

“This is one of the most elusive and mysterious outbreaks we’ve encountered,” said Bernadette Dunham, director of the FDA’s Center for Veterinary Medicine.

“Most of the jerky treats implicated have been made in China,” the FDA said. Investigators have tested more than 1,200 samples but haven’t uncovered what could be causing the illnesses.

On Tuesday, the FDA issued a letter to veterinarians asking for help tracking the illnesses. The agency also released a fact sheet for pet owners warning of possible…

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Daily Prompt: On the Edge/BALANCE

I spent years really living on the edge but a very slippery edge, indeed.

I was a trucker who worked and worked, never getting enough rest. I was young and fearless.

After a divorce and a bad wreck( no not of my doing, lol )thankfully, life for me was so very different.

I lost my balance. I fell. I fell into deep sadness. Yes I mucked about pretending all was well but clearly everyone could see how I had changed. I lost ME.

Well things are back on an even keel.

I have a blessed life.

I see that now.

I blog with people all over the world who have had such deep sadness in their lives. I also have some followers so full of joy, it is contagious.

You see I had stopped caring. I stopped LIVING.

When I found WordPress I was in search of who I was.

I had to pick a name for my new blog and it came easy, Living and Lovin, as that is really all I searched for.

I am here to tell you that I found it and then some.

I eat right now and actually exercise in the amounts I need. Balance it is a good thing.

I wake daily and with coffee see what blogging buddies are up too.

I eat breakfast and do the housework. For years I really had stopped caring.

I now work in my garden.

Play with the dog.

Have conversations with the love of my life.

I thought I had it all till sadly it was gone. My edge may have been different from yours but clearly living on the edge is hard for anyone eventually. It will catch up to you.

It has been a long winding road but finally no longer do I stand on a slippery slope of sadness and despair. No longer a part of the rat race of life. I have taken back who I really am. I wake each day thankful for all I have. I do stop to smell the ROSES, well all the flowers. How could I have gotten so far out of whack? Are others as well and still not knowing it?

For me it is about BALANCE.

Doing what needs to be done and making time for play.

I play usually with a camera in tow so now they can all see the change. Pretty dramatic even when I look back.

My wish for all of you is to find your balance. With work, love, life and play. When you are out of whack that is truly living on the edge.

PEACE

nutsfortreasure:

This is the same place I took the pretty photo for The Daily Prompt

Originally posted on coastlinesproject:

NewburyportNews.com, Newburyport, MA

July 20, 2013

Gov’t could buy PI properties

In rebuilding, owners struggle with rising insurance, costs

BY DYKE HENDRICKSON
STAFF WRITER

—- — NEWBURY — It’s getting costly to rebuild on Plum Island. As a result, the town might someday be asked to buy oceanfront property should current homeowners chose to take a government “buyout” and leave their seaside land.

At a meeting of the Merrimack River Beach Alliance yesterday, a town official said that several oceanfront property owners are considering selling their properties to the government rather than rebuilding.

Government agencies, including the Federal Emergency Management Agency and the Massachusetts Emergency Management Agency, maintain a fund of about $7 million that can be directed to communities that are attempting to mitigate storm damage. Officials from the state Department of Environmental Protection said that this acquisition fund can be used to purchase property from owners, with the…

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You asked if there were someone we would not want to read our blog and immediately I thought of my son.

Yes I do not mind if he looks at all the pretty photographs and all of your posts I have re-blogged.

Why I want him to KEEP OUT is I do not want him to know how much pain I used to be in.  See it is key that he gets to see

how very happy I am today.

Happiness spreads Joy and  Sadness spreads Pain.

We are both to BE HAPPY for the rest of our days.

So Keep Out

Mike

BE HAPPY!

I was still injured but I needed a job.

I used to drive a “big rig”  but then I was hit,  by that bus.

I went through the savings which were sadly,  as in most case, s never enough.

I saw an Ad in a local paper for a Special Needs School Bus Driver,  surely I could drive a small van.

I applied for the position and they could clearly see my wounds but it was the ones inside that hurt the worst.
Due to my physical injuries I was given the troubled youths to transport to schools where they did not want to attend.

Many never even bothered  to get up and shower and dress for the day,  never mind step into the van.  Very sad.

One by one as they entered my school bus I introduced myself,  the one with the huge blue knee brace on.

I asked them to buckle up and not to swear (being a trucker at this point didn’t matter) I turned on music of their liking

just not gangster rap!

I knew they all had stories about how they ended up on a bus such as this.  I did too.

I showed them respect and demanded the same right back.  Friends were  worried about me alone with them.

So many scary stories you read about children such as this.  Remember they were the worst of the worst.

No one else at the bus company would drive them willingly.  So they gave them to the New Girl!

I had a run in the morning where they were still half asleep then again in the afternoon after no nicotine.

Yes some were angry.  Many had nice parents that just could not take it anymore and turned them over to the state.

Some lived with Grandparents God Bless them.

As the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into years, two of them, I healed. So did they.  We stopped listening

to music unless it was them singing to my great-niece in an infant seat while one played the guitar.  They had

me to smile and make them feel welcomed each morning and I was their ride away from that school each day.

I had a solid group of eight who had been tossed aside.

Told they would never amount to anything.  Have you been mad enough to say that to your child?

They were so talented in so many ways, I was so proud they stuck it out and rode both ways with me.  I will always

remember these young people who not only graduated but in the end helped me to heal all the hurt inside.

They all know that they were MY SILVER LINING.

This is a link for a story done about a nasty beetle found out in WY and we now here in NH are seeing more borer types attracting trees in the Northeast.  Keep your eyes open to protect out TREES!  Please

 

http://mag.audubon.org/articles/climate/fight-club-ragtag-crew-races-save-disappearing-trees

David is a friend of my son Mike.  You can LIKE  David’s page on Facebook       The name of his page is in the article

 

Having just been Earth Day it is a good time to be reminded to LOVE OUR PLANET EARTH  oh and EACH OTHER!!!!!!

 

What a horrible night.
Beautiful towns covered by swat teams, one of the bombers is now dead but so is a MIT school officer.

Long night of terror for many I pray it ends TODAY

Two angry men bombs, guns, grenades WHY

Makes you wonder why so many flee from their homelands and flock here. It is not the America I knew as a little girl and it is very sad.

Praying for the people just 50 miles from me and America as well.

All trains, buses shut down. Businesses now closed people told to stay in their basements pray for us that this will end without another life being taken.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<

UPDATE the WHOLE CITY OF BOSTON IS SHUT DOWN!

No Taxis, autos, trucks everyone to stay in their homes and wait till he is caught.

He ran over his own brother when fleeing the shootout so no one is safe

This is CRAZY

Say prayers please one cop dead one injured is on in early 30’s and with a small infant :(  so sad

Woman with infant now in police car being questioned girlfriend or sister.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

Suspect bloody and in custody AMEN

So very sad.

Such a beautiful day we had,  till this afternoon.

Sun was shining,  people from all over the world were running the Boston Marathon and the 26 miles of roadways were lined with happy cheering people.

Two bombs went off

A little eight year old has passed away before their life even began.

Tears shed by the world at large or those with hearts anyway.

The last mile was in memory for the children who were murdered in CT.

The poor first responders that were at the finish line  to help with fatigue after they had topped Heartbreak Hill and to give them a place to rest and fluids could not be ready for what took place here today.

What is wrong with the world today?

There are now armored personal carriers at our local hospital where I take Mom every 3 months for a check up I did a post on that pretty garden down the street from the same hospital  this is just simply another sad day in the history of the world and today was Boston’s turn.

Doctors are pulling ball bearings from people’s bodies.

A dirty bomb is used daily in many countries but this is Boston and it was gorgeous and just a perfect day for the runners.

In tears so sad saying prayers and sending out mad love to all those heroes that stopped the bleeding for so many to get them to help.

For those of you who live in countries where this has become so normal I am so sorry it is not what living is supposed to be like.

Please hug and love each other.

Lots of Meta going out to all

 

 

The Beach Is A Mess

Well last night we lost an hour of sleep due to our moving our clocks ahead in spring as we do here in New Hampshire for Daylight Savings Time.  I went to bed early after being at the beach.  Yes a perfect day in the mid 40’s.  It was a very Messy Beach and some lost their homes.  I am not sure if you caught it on your news as I never know if AP news will broadcast things that happen here, all over the world.

You know I will keep you up on the stories in the news throughout New England well at least when it comes to storms and flooding.

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JT and I walked along the shoreline for exercise and play while her daddy searched for treasure.  I left her Frisbee in the truck and grabbed a stick we keep for windy days.  I knew she would want to jump waves if we played with her favorite toy but today was not a day to be playing in the sea.

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The waves were strong and very powerful.  One after another slammed into the coastline.  Remember we go when the tide is heading out.  He only hunts low tides and I hunt the beaches when people have just left from a day of beach going and I never go down to the water with my machine.  This is winter though in New England and we had an enormous coastal storm.  It was very far out to sea but we still got nailed by it.  The beach had 3 days easy of seas with 20 foot plus seas.  It slammed into sea walls and busted them again.  Roads were closed due to rock and four feet of water in some sections where the beach breached an area where the state has determined  a pretty coastal route would be.  Mother Nature has a funny way of taking back what always should have been a place of give and take.  I never really think to add video to these lengthy posts but if you want to go to the web to look here are a few local news stations where you can see it in action.

http://www.wmur.com
http://www.necn.com

So as we walked the dog and I we met others who were shocked by what they saw had taken place with yet another storm.  The dunes which help to keep the water from homes and businesses were just about gone.  They were huge.  They were tall with pretty grasses holding them together.  They had been a part of our lives forever if you grew up in New England.  We were not allowed to ride dune buggies on them they were not for fun.  They were to protect us and a place for wild birds to make their nests.  Where would they go now?  Tax money spent over and over to fix the beach.  We have people who flock here from Canada and other parts of the world will they still come?  I am sad people once again lost their homes.  Yes they were silly to want to build by the sea but she is so beautiful on most days. Look at other beaches.  Huge hotel chains line the beach in Virginia, Florida too.  Everyone wants to get close to the sea.  These past thirty eight years I can remember,  spending so much time visiting them  have seen so much change.

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When sand was washed out to sea dunes collapsed  and drainage pipes show up I guess filthy storm drain water screened through all the sand was supposed to be OK for the oceans now with rain coming and it will fall for days where will it go besides straight into our ocean that feeds us. So very sad.

 

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Foundations showing up from buildings long ago gone.  I used to go to the one that stood here beside the sea.  The Frolics was famous for music, and  drinks.  Many years ago there had even been a huge swimming pool alongside this beach.  Salisbury Beach have you ever been.  It used to be a fun place to go not so much anymore well unless you are a dog with a great Mom and Dad.

 

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She really wants to run time to let her off leash for a few minutes while I show you some of what we saw at the beach that was a mess.

 

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That is JT’s Dad hunting the beach

 

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Last one for this post

See the metal stakes?

The dunes came out this far and a wooden fence was attached to these all along the shoreline to KEEP PEOPLE OFF THEM but no one told the Sea to  STAY AWAY.

 

 

 

 

 

New England In Winter Wraps

Hi everyone.  No I am not lost but usually I shovel then suffer in pain but it is the workouts that have me seeing consistent success now at the scale on Tuesdays and is getting me closer to goal which will be a HEALTY weight never scrawny .  I need my strength to make it through my meditation as well as that new English Garden I will be working on if winter ever let’s go of her death grip up here.  No don’t worry just hard on old broken bodies but my sense of humor such as it is will get me to spring  oh and the rains!  Today NH is under the spell of another huge storm and why I am getting rains when others are getting twelve more, heavy wet inches of snow  I have no idea but you know I am so grateful for each and every drop for it is melting our snowpack and snow on the roofs is shrinking too he said it was too slippery to climb up yesterday which worried me with the weight of heavy wet snow ruining so many homes and businesses elsewhere.  Well I sold my conversion van and made another friend.  She too is an author with all of you here I follow and follow me I can surely get my three written!  I sold the van to get cash to fix my pick-up the one with the PLOW kind of late now as the birds are already singing their hearts out looking for the prettiest girls in town.  I will scrub hummingbird feeders again to make sure no dust has gotten into the bags I store them in and get the seeds started for my garden even if I have to grow in 5 gal. buckets or a pallet have you seen that on Pinterest?  I think this year I will even start Sunflowers in egg cartons or yogurt cups as I have plenty of empties and this way after the diet of black oil sunflower seeds I have been going through with my wildlife so far almost 400 lbs. of seed, they will not be able to dig up the ones I hide to line my yard with.  Hard to outsmart wildlife though I am sure something hungry will come for the green growth like us and our salad greens!

 

So how have you all been?  Life good or hard right now?  I love hearing from you all and that some of you are regular visitors to my Portfolio Blog  please me.  You can comment on any blog.  Tell me if you like certain photo or what you don’t like remember the only thing I have ever been a professional at is a driver, a big rig driver so you can help by chiming in .  Some of you know I have been selling my photos on FAA under  Eunice Miller  and that I even set up a Facebook page that will link my photographs I have placed for sale right to their site in most cases.  If you are artists that have begun to follow my blog thank you.  Blogging has made me a better photographer still not anything to write home about but me and my little Kodak Easy Share once in a while capture something pretty and moving to some besides me for which I am thankful for isn’t that why we decide to step out of our nice comfy spot at home and reach out to the world at large with art and words.  I would not have gotten to know you all had I not taken that very first step last Memorial Day weekend.  I am blessed by each and every one of you and I think you already know that by what we have shared.

 

Now it wouldn’t be a Living and Lovin  blog without a photo or two so this is what I have been thinking of

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My Lilacs in full bloom calling out to all the insects and pretty butterflies that adore them as much as I do even Ron loves them  JT loves to smell them she is a girl you know and all girls love pretty flowers.

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For the bees to arrive so my fruit trees will bless us and the wildlife who also love fruit.

 

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Now the Forsythia that are all over this place we call home are sure signs of SPRING arriving.

 

Now for this year along with the new English Garden area Ron will make me a sculpture as he was a welder for 35 years before retiring early with injuries.  I am thinking something in pretty copper but maybe a mix if they can be put together with the arc from his welding rod.  He is the pro so I will let him do his thing and praise the heck out of him because he is a good man to put up with me and so much sadness though it has gotten so much better since I have stopped hiding.  So look for a blog on his artist work in the future here.

I will also divide my Hostas  for an upcoming Garden Club Plant Sale in early May and take some new Lilacs and move them to my berm on the eastern side of my property  I will add some  shoots of Forsythia on berm as well because they will look beautiful as they grow and drape along this area with the Lilacs up above with a few little pretty shaped Pines.  It will provide me with Privacy yes but mostly block the Orange Fence(plastic snow fence) from my view while I sit and tend to my garden since I do not see her as ever taking it down,  even though it sits on the towns right a way.

So for now I will look and deal with the CRUD of Winter with visions of a beautiful spring!

 

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We will hang out by the sea a lot till them even on a lousy weather day we can always find a ray of hope here along the water’s edge.

 

Take care everyone and again stop in at anyone of my places here on the world-wide web, you are more than welcome.

 

Originally posted on Life on a Colorado Farm:

Since we had a really bad problem with coyotes a year or so ago, we talked to a Government Trapper (yes, there really is such a person).  Remember the information below is FROM THE GOVERNMENT TRAPPER, I am NOT an Expert!!!

Please do NOT send me horrible emails telling me I don’t know what I’m talking about…I only have my experience and what the expert has told us.

A couple of times Terry was actually stalked by a coyote—probably defending the den, while he was changing water late in the evening……and once the dogs and I were stalked.

We have had coyotes come into the yard….sending in Missey Coyote to lure the dogs out so they can …well…have killing sport with the dogs.

We have had to train the grandchildren not to run around on back of the farm in the late evening…ever!

I never leave dog food or cat…

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Hi Everyone

Well today is the day before my son’s birthday.  So many years ago I was contemplating my motives and listening to my heart. Not knowing the next day would be labor and he would come into the world.  That he was healthy was all that mattered to me.  I took good care of myself while pregnant.  Lots of woman had children, I would be OK.  Never knew how sadness could destroy a soul,  hell I was young,  so very young.  This is a photo of me 2 years before. My High School Year Book photo with  wet hair and clothes as it poured when me and Mom were walking in Lowell,   a rain cloud opened up no big deal I didn’t want a photo or to be in the book.

 

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Grandma had given me the pretty silver spoon.  It was a pin meant to be worn and I adored her,  so I did.  Who knew in the 80’s things such as this were used for drugs.  In fact since I was never into drugs,  cocaine never entered my thoughts as I gave my copy of this photo to Mike.  He saw the spoon and guess it took on a different meaning never knowing who I was or for that matter who I really am now.  Do not know how he was raised but they were older than me so maybe they were wild in the 60’s  I still pray they were not.

So this is a story on us the we that never was to be.    I do not know anything really about Mike except he grew up not to far from me.  He could have been a wild child.  I was so young I never thought they would tell him he was not theirs.  Why would they he was 3 days old.  Then for him to turn 18 and get angry I was not at the door asking for him.  See heartache was not mine and mine alone.  I know I would never take the life of a child through abortion unless it could not live but I am here to say that must be a hard decision to make,  same as the one I did.  I wanted him to have two loving parents and I trusted this older woman at the adoption agency to only allow good people to come through that door and fill out applications swearing they would be.  I chose the couple from a book full of smiling faces who all said they wanted a baby of their own.  Well I hand-picked his,  if she told me the truth.  I have grown a lot since then and know too much.  I know one thing for certain they paid a lot to get a blonde haired blue-eyed,  white male baby in 1977,  that was healthy and weighed  8  lbs  9 oz.  I doubt he ever went a day in his life without being given every opportunity possible for a young man. Life was good!  I made that life he had possible.  With God watching over me all these years I know I did right by him , they were not me but they had to love him.  Then they had a child of their own,  a daughter not sure how that came to be I really don’t care I am just glad he was not an only child,  he had a little sister.  Sure the dynamics of his life must have changed for him , he was only 2 or 3 but he had a family.

 

Now to the part where we meet by phone.  I emailed the agency and asked if they knew if he was OK,  I had just lost my Dad and had the need to know.  She called right back when I hit send, asking me “Where have you been your son has been looking for you?”  First thought was WHY?  Come on he was 32 years old.  They had my parents contact information all those years and never a word.  Maybe the time was not right.  Maybe he never cared to know who I was or who his birth family was.  Remember he had EVERYTHING.   So I take down the information she said he left for me and I hang up the phone.  She gave me his and his parents information so I wrote to them.  I asked if he was OK and if they were OK with him wanting me to call or write him.  They never bothered to write to me so of course I had the story worked out in my head already,  I knew all the answers. Funny how we can do that.  Next thing I did was make the call to the numbers he left and just said “Hi it’s Eunice I got a message from agency to call you.”  Pretty short and sweet   Scared to death all he wanted to do was scream at me for giving him to them.  When he did not call back that day yes I was expecting he would,  he is the one who said if she shows up please have her contact me, so I sat and wrote a letter , really too long and gut wrenching with too much family information included for him  as I now look back on it.  I figured if he had changed his mind about wanting to speak to me at least he would know who I was and who his uncles and grandparents were.  Medical stuff too.  I have spent many days since then wishing I had never called the agency.  No one needs to visit deep pain over and over it doesn’t do any good and for me it has been horrible.  Had they just said he had a wonderful life and I should be so proud,  it would have been so much better.

 

So finally Mike, that is what they named him, called me.  He was happy from doing some wild things while on skis out on his mountain range.  He said he had been scared to call me.  WHY?  This has been my question since learning about him from agency.  Remember he is 32 always knew or from age 2 or 3 that he was adopted so why now at 32 was he still so worried about ME?

We talked for hours and hours and learned what anyone could through a phone.   That was in March of 2008.   Then in May that year for Mother’s Day he sent me a beautiful email with photos of him and his dog.  Then a few more calls,  then nothing.  So he was all set but I wasn’t.

I finally was hurt enough to leave a message or email can’t really remember now saying when he grew up to come see me.  Get the answers face to face.  See who I really was.

He showed up that October days before Halloween and we spent the afternoon together at the beach him and I and the two dogs while Ron detected and gave me my space.  We had a lunch together,  seafood like this is not really the same out west.

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I told him to go back to his family in Maine they would be worried sick about him,  he didn’t want to leave but my heart was hurting and I just wanted to go home.  We hugged each other goodbye. We have not spoken since.  Emails yes but no calls.  His parents went off the deep end when he got back to their summer home on the island.  It destroyed him and his joy that day.  So he shuts me off to not hurt them.

That following Feb. 19th a woman calls me asking how to get to my home she has a delivery for me I laughed and told her not me I didn’t order anything.  She assured me I would welcome her.  She arrived and she was the driver for a florist.  She delivered a bouquet of long stem Red Roses in a tall Red glass vase with a beautiful card from Mike thanking me for having him.   I sent an email thanking him.

Years passed by and still no calls .  Only word from him was an occasional  email. Maybe I am just not the make believe Mother he had made up in his head too bad as actually I am so much better than an imaginary one.

 

Then he joined Facebook and I could see his artwork that he did with spray paint.  He is very talented.  Hard on himself yes.  All artists are deep and troubled aren’t they .

 

Here is something he sent me, made by him just two Christmases ago or was it three.

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I love the artwork he shares  where he lives,  as well as opening up finally on his  own  Artist Facebook page.  I know it is not easy for him to share.

He doesn’t understand when I say I want no more art for my home.  I can’t take anymore pain from loss.  I know I was a strong trucker for so many years but with wreck  I had in 2000 and all that has taken place since I am just happy to be alive and know he is as well.

So tomorrow it is his birthday and I will not wish him a happy birthday as it is their day.  He is theirs.  So yes it has always been a horrible day for me to get through and usually I walk the local beach as I did so long ago, well 36 years ago.  Happy Birthday to Mike.  I do wish him the very best.

So now you know the story and why I will welcome the retreat he went to and wants the love for me.  Hell I want the LOVE FOR ME it has been too long!

Sorry for such a heavy post but every action has a reaction doesn’t it.

Love you all.
Thanks for all the support you always show me.

 

 

Trucking

My Last Rig

It was 1999 and I was hauling the tanker you see in the photo above.  It was used for hauling Spring Water from a  New Hampshire Spring Water Company up in the lakes region.

Heading up the mountain roads to pick up the loads were hard enough on me but once loaded and top closed,  I had to get down that long steep grade, now weighing in at 103,000 gross pounds. Yes I was a Heavy Hauler and my load MOVED.  When filling,  the idea was to get it chock full of water so movement would be cut down to a minimum.

In the summer months hauling spring water were such pretty days.   Traveling from bottling plants back up on top of the mountain for more and back down again. Most days I did this trip three times.  Long hours were hard on me and my rig.

I fought traffic through Massachusetts rush hours only to be caught in one just trying to get back home to New Hampshire but I made decent money,  paid my bills and still had some fun.

Now all I just told you went on during winters as well and no,  not so pretty.   Maybe I should have had a camera with me but I was all business when behind the wheel  but now that I look back,  what a blast to capture what I saw out there on a daily basis. Stopped of course.

I changed my own oil in the rig as well as greased it,  from end to end.  I did all the  repairs I knew how to do or that Dad could walk me through or even help me with when he was not busy driving himself.

This is the ugly part of a day,  in the life of me and my truck.

I always kept great tires on my truck,  it is what allowed me to run day in and day out with no blown tires and left sitting on the side of the road.  Well it still would happen but not so often,  more so when I was hauling rubbish in and out of landfills.

Well on this day I headed out with 4 new tires for my rear axle of my tractor.  I gave my old  tires to the place I always did business with  and paid the man,  even gave him a friendly” Thanks so much”,  see you when the fronts come in Call Me!

I went up to the mountain to grab another load of spring water and kicked tires before heading down that nasty mountain road, never knowing it would be one of the scariest rides .   I was loving the ride knowing my tires were new and actually very pretty,  you see I even sand blasted the rims and had them powder coated.   I was out on a major highway here in New Hampshire and stopped to pay my toll then shortly after I was in Newburyport  Massachusetts on 95 south  when I heard,  then felt something funny, well not funny but you know what I mean.  I clenched the big rigs wheel and held on tight about this  time I see one of my new tires pass me!  Then I knew I was in serious trouble my boyfriend yelled ” aren’t you going to stop?”.  I swear to you I could not answer him,  this had never happened before in over two million miles of driving one of these.  I looked in my mirror to my left as the tire would surly head out in front  of me and into the lane beside me.  There was a full school bus and all I could do to warn anyone and make them pay attention was to lay on the air horn, which  had everyone’s  attention by the grace of God.  This huge truck tire was moving!  I had been in the right travel lane and bus in middle lane and we had lots of other company on the southbound side of  I 95.  The tire came across my lane into the school bus lane across the next one into the medium strip of the highway and popped up in front of a Saab,  who was not expecting or paying attention to all of us headed south with our 4 way emergency  flashes on. When he or she saw it coming straight at them they jerked  the wheel and it just missed them and off the other side it went!  I asked Dave to remember where as I needed to go and collect it.  Then the tire which rides beside it,  passed me and this one  could have killed us and many others  that day but once again by the grace of God and my luck,  it did not get caught up under us,  which could have had me loosing control and just horrible,  unimaginable  things taking place that day.  This inside tire took the path up the breakdown lane and thankfully no one was parked there.  It then left the highway and went down the embankment.  Dave again took a mile marker number down as we would have to hunt it down.  These tires were $400.00 each and the rims were expensive as well,  never mind what I paid to have the man do  the work of putting them on.

While wheels were leaving the truck and  traffic veering around the first one and me holding on for dear life,  I also had  taken my foot off the accelerator and was coasting all the while,  103,000 lbs gross weight of tractor-trailer and load of spring water.  I moved the truck into the breakdown lane,  the nightmare over.

What I explained here  in the telling of the story happened all within split seconds but seemed very much in Slow Motion.  I was lucky that day, boyfriend too but mostly the many people who had just been out for a drive.

Now as I am pulled over,  emergency flashes  still on  and I can’t move.  It is over but somehow I know it isn’t.  Boyfriend jumps out to check the truck out then I follow with cell phone in hand,  how I hate phones but this day it helped me stay calm and out of trouble.

I could see my poor air bags and springs and shocks where extended beyond  where they should be with all the weight on the other three  sets of duel tires  so I asked him to put down the landing gears while I called into the mountain to send another driver down to grab my loaded trailer and get it to the bottling plant before they ran out of water and had to shut down the line.  I have always been like this,  thinking of the other person though this meant I would not get paid for the load that was forty minutes  from being delivered but sadly I had more import things to take care of.

I called the tire repairman and have him an earful.  I called a wrecker and had him charged  for it,  though he assumed I would pay for it in the end.   Once another driver arrived and hooked to my trailer I was sitting in the breakdown lane so I asked him the boyfriend who was a big help on days like this to get me a chain and some tools and went about taking off the leveler arm  to get the axle where it needed to sit so I could chain it up and limp home,  no the wrecker was not for me it was to go with Dave to pick up the two wayward tires and rims and bring them to our neighbors,  the ones who had the fire I just told you about.  I got the truck home and parked over there and then Dave and the tires arrived seems they had both gone down and over and landed in nasty puddles of road run off he and the tow truck driver and tires were filthy.  I told the driver to bill the tire man for new boots too.

What a morning I had had on those new tires of mine.
What I wrote about here has happened to others I am sure in one degree or another but this one was my story of a beautiful sunny day till all the BOLTS SNAPPED do you know why?  Seems he had over torqued  them while using his air gun on them.  I too have used air but always tightened  them up by hand.  He could have cost us and the others their life that day and you know he even had the audacity to BILL ME suffice to say  I never paid him for second round of repairs.  I told him to take me to court so I could tell the judge the story I have just written here.

Also I have to tell you from the moment this happened till the time I made a drink that night to try to unwind.  I never saw one police officer.  None pulled over to help me or ask if I was OK,  you see they all knew me as a strong woman who did everything on her own.   I guess that is the good part as I got no citations but boy I sure could have used some BLUE LIGHTS to protect us from possibly being hit,  while we worked on the rig with traffic buzzing by at 70+MPH.

So keep your eyes open while driving or walking.
Please stay off your phones too.
PAY ATTENTION to where you are and what is going on around you.

You just never know and had I been gabbing on the phone like as if I was sitting in my living room I may not be here or that bus full of students.

Sharing More Of Me

Hi Everyone.
Sorry you were worried about me just silly Daily Prompts as I promised I would bore you all with more stories of my life. Now heads up this is all real and even made the front page of several papers, but again I am OK.

So let’s begin this story in 1997. If you remember I had the ex removed by law enforcement finally and started life again. I met a man ten years younger him 29 and me by then 39. I had the home but always worked. I have a neighbor here who moved in just before my divorce and she seemed friendly enough. I would care for her horse if she ran late Stormy loved my blonde hair oh and the Apple and Carrots I brought him. She in return would let my dogs 4 of them out half way through the day till I pulled in with my rig at the end of a long day.

I had Halloween parties, remind me to tell you about them someday, ADULT COSTUME PARTIES, and I always welcomed her to come nd she did. Well she had a neighborhood get together each spring and I attended hers. You know neighborly. Well at the party in 1997 things changed. She asked me to sign a petition to stop another neighbor from subdividing his 17 acres. I kind of thought it was a joke as he had spent two hours at this party before having to take his son to practice. She was single and so was he but no love interest either.

On that day I told her she needed to mind her own business when it came to a man wanting to sell some land to build a beautiful home for himself and son. He at the time lived in a single wide mobile home beside her. Well I guess the line was drawn in the sand for her. I was either with her or against her only I never knew remember I thought it was a silly joke we live in New Hampshire “Live Free of Die” our state motto.

She and the neighbors no longer waved to me and I was the one here long before they were. I hired someone to let the dogs out and back in and went to work to pay for the truck on my own. Hatred built up in the neighborhood as my friend and neighbor got the towns permission to sub-divide and build. It was crazy around here and I was thankful I was gone from 4 AM till 5 PM on most days I missed my dogs but they were well cared for till I got back home.

So on a day back in in 1998 we had parked the rig and gotten in our car to run to the store to food shop and I wanted to stop and leave a note on my friends trailer to invite him over for supper. I got out of the car and walked up to his back door to leave a note on it for him when my boyfriend says “Moe’s barn just blew up!” I thought he was joking I was standing with my back to him and never heard a thing surly I would hear an explosion. I turned and saw nothing but then he pointed to the fire all over the ground. I still didn’t see why till we saw our neighbor Moe full engulfed in flames with a horrible noise coming from him. He was melting I mean it was horrible we left the car on the side of the road and went running over to help. Dave took off his Tee Shirt to try and extinguish the flames and get him to the ground I ran to the house to find his wife. She was standing on the porch in shock and not running to the phone for 911 so I pushed past her, angry that she wasn’t. I screamed for her to get buckets or pans or milk jugs full of water and get them out to Dave. We had to cool his skin, hydrate him I do not know how or why I said that but she snapped out of shock and began to get the water out while I had to stay on the phone with 911 all the while we were 3 feet from a fully engulfed huge barn on fire. Dave said metal from cans exploding in the barn were ripping by him on the ground so he dragged Moe closer to the house. Now mind you 911 would not let me hang up till help arrived. I wanted to do more but I was told to stay on the phone. Should this ever happen again I will lay the phone down and help, I hate feeling helpless.

Finally two young police officers arrive and Dave and I can finally look up and around. The barn was raging, the news copter was hovering above I swear the turbulence made it even worse. Finally the Fire trucks arrive I am talking maybe 20 minuets or longer from when I made the call. The station is 3 miles away. We were all alone with this poor man who had had a horrible accident in his barn and now may die because it was just Dave and I there to help him. I was feeling so sick watching him writing in pain. All the friends of his standing and watching him burn you see when the line was drawn by me telling her to mind her business they had all banded together to get my rig thrown out of my yard. Me with 3 acres at a dead-end, all because she got mad at me.

I would like to say had I know I would have done the exact thing. It was what you are supposed to do for someone in need.

Now you can imagine a little town, small streets huge equipment everywhere fire not being knocked down they just let it burn and burn see it was not an accident. This man had poured gasoline all around the barn many gallons worth and had a rope already hanging from a beam. He had climbed a ladder and slipped his head into it preparing to die that day. He I found out had been saying he would for a long time, they just stopped listening to him. Sad really mx another drink and fall further into depression.

So Dave is with Moe who is in horrible pain and his clothes were stuck to him day wanted the cops to hurry the EMT’s along, you see Dave lost a little sister in a house fire when he was six. He wanted Moe to live. We both did. The cop sits upon his chest we still don’t know why you would do this to a man so burnt but it was when Dave saw them cut the rope that was buried in his neck from the fall and the fact it was a nylon rope didn’t help. Dave almost got sick. He ran to me to tell me it wasn’t an accident and then told me what had happened. I felt so much emotion angry we had gone into harms way for a man who had so carefully laid out his death, to running and screaming the best he could that he wanted help. By now it had been an hour and we were not feeling well. It was probably from all of the adrenalin that kicks in to get you through something horrible all I know is we just wanted to go home.
The wife was so thankful to us for being the ones who came to his aid while the others just stood watching. She called us angels. I worried about her. The police put Dave and I in different police cars with pads of paper to write down what we saw, heard and did guess they were worried we would talk and discuss and they wanted each of us to tell what we saw and heard for the record. You see a suicide attempt should you fail can land you in jail. Dave joked from the car in front for us to take the cars out for a race. I could finally relax I actually smiled and then told him to hurry up and write.

I got out of the police car first and one of the local reporters from TV holds a Mike up to me for the story, what story the one where a man was so very sad he no longer wanted to live. I told her NO COMMENT and walked up to the wife and hugged her and told her I was beat and had to go home and then told the police and Dave and I went right back to the house no shopping in no state to eat anyway.

We helped her for almost a year till he came home. He had so many skin graph surgeries but was alive and so thankful to be. He was getting help he so badly had been crying for. They still love us and think fondly of the two they had set about to get my rig out of my place. Funny how stories end from the time the debris was picked up till they moved I parked my truck in their yard across from my neighbor that started a war.

It was months before Dave and I slept without waking in sweats and seeing him running across the yard.

It was just two or three weeks after the attempted suicide that the wife begged us to talk to a reporter she wanted the world as well as neighbors to know that we were good people. I gave in opened the front door to Susan who would do the interview. She thanks us and I never thought about it till someone handed me the paper. We knew the story by heart, we lived it but it was the Editorial they wanted us to see.

Here is what her Editor after reading her write-up on us and interviewing the wife wrote about us.

An unselfish act.

Epping should be grateful to have people like Eunice and Dave, who risked their own safety Wednesday night to save the life of their neighbor Moe and his barn went up into flames.

Eunice and Dave were backing out of another neighbor’s yard, preparing to take a spin into town when they saw the barn on fire and Mo running from the barn with his clothes were in flames.

The ran to the mans aid, David taking off his shirt and used it to put out the flames on Moe’s burning body. Moe was screaming in pain through the whole ordeal.

This neighborhood has had its share of upheaval and controversy in recent months. Just a year ago, the neighborhood was up in arms over a gravel pit operation and demanded the town to shut it down. Squabbling over one issue or another has continued.

Other neighbors managed to put Eunice a truck driver, out of business by complaining about her truck being parked at her home. Theirs Eunice and David’s- was an unselfish act by people who might have had a reason to turn away, but didn’t.

The couple’s actions that night, not only saved a neighbor’s life but could go a long way toward fostering a true sense of community in their neighborhood. Anything is possible when people care as much as Eunice and Dave clearly do.

Now you know who I am though I think some of you figured it out. I love life and all it holds it is precious. I lost a cousin when I was 4 and he was 5 he was scaled at a family farm. My Dad was a Shriner he took us to the Shriner Hospital to teach us what matches could do. I hate fire so when I saw the Daily Prompt I somehow just had fun with it though they were very truthful answers. Nothing matters to me but life and love things are just simply THINGS.

Sorry for the heavy post but talk of fire brought it all back tonight.

Stay safe out there.

It was a shock to read the story she wrote never mind what her boss took upon himself to write about us. We were finally given commendations from our local police chief as well.

Love
Eunice

We lost the house but remember what I took the time to save. Now after discussing it with boyfriend I guess I should have put a little more thought into my choice of which items to save.

I forgot the purse as I have no money in it so who cares but he reminded me maybe I should have worried about a license, funny I never get pulled over anymore so maybe I could skate without it till it is time to renew :)

Yes I lost all my crafting and beading components but with no house, where would I set up.

I should have remembered my shotgun, as I do love my over and under skeet gun. Don’t worry I only shoot CLAY PIGEONS.

I once with the help of an old boyfriend saved a mans life who was on fire so I will stay with my original post as all else really can be replaced in time but not a life and we were all out safely when so many others never had a chance.

Peace
Eunice

Daily Prompt: Burning Down the House

Daily Prompt: Burning Down the House

Your home is on fire. Grab five items (assume all people and animals are safe). What did you grab?

1. I would grab my camera and SD Cards and fight to get back inside to save my photo albums.
2. You did say al living things were safe right? Maybe my Spider Plant if I had time.
3. Laptop(reminds me I will keep it all together in the nice expensive bag I just had to have.
4. Phone, cell is only way to call 911 :) wait do I want too :) we are all safe right?
5. I will miss this OLD House and all the wonderful memories she holds but sadly I can’t take them with me physically so I will need to learn TO LET GO!

Yes Home Insurance is always paid up to date just saying. :)

JT’s Adventures ……part one

After My Son Was Gone

After I had my son there was no reason for me to stay in the hospital.  He was healthy and beautiful and nurses,  bless them,  kept bringing him in only to say OOPS, sorry, do you want to hold him?  I asked the doctor if I could get discharged,  he understood and said it would be OK,  good thing as I was going anyway.  I had things to do.

 

It was mid February and there had been snow. Mom came to get me as I had stayed the last 2 months at home and my car was there.  I was in a hurry to find an apartment.  I needed to get out of the family home,  no reason to cause them more pain seeing me each and every day in pain and tears.

 

I worked at  the factory where I had been for three years.  They had taken up a collection for me but I gave it all back except for some cash for new clothes.  I also took a job at a local gas station and worked 8 hours at both jobs.  I had to stay busy.  One of the young guys who worked at the station with me was looking to move so we found an apartment with 2 bedrooms and he worked days at the station and me nights.  I would come home at 11:30 PM and supper would be wrapped up in oven on warm.  It was perfect.  I left the station we worked at together and moved a half mile further down and worked for another station so I could do oil changes and brakes, more money.

For a year and a half  I did some heavy drinking on Sunday nights,  at a club out of town or at a friend’s house.  Loud rock music, draft beer I thought would help me get over him being gone,  it didn’t.  Friends,  mostly men and their girlfriends never said a word to me when I had come home without him.  Not sure how they felt but they knew a part of me had changed and pretty much died.

So after working sixteen hours a day and going out on Sunday nights for ten-cent drafts  I met a man.  He was 10 years older and a trucker.

He was divorced with visitation for the little boy they shared.  I am not saying that is why I dated him but in the end I am sure it is why, for a small, very small part for the reason I stayed over and over.

So just a year and half after kissing my baby goodbye I meet this man with a son.  He often tried to get visitation but the two of them him and his ex always fought usually over a lousy thirty-five dollar a week support check and she was already married to a bank president.  I saw this as crazy,  what was right was right. Share as the courts ordered it.  So I was the go between,  driving down to pick him up this cute little four-year old boy.  Him and I had a blast while he was  with me till his father got out of work and picked him up.  He had ben trying to buy a home, and get back on his feet it had been two years since they had divorced.  She had five children from her first husband .  I made assumptions I would later realize were wrong and it could have cost me my life in the end.

 

So I dated  him on and off for three years.  Off because there was a lot of abuse.  I would walk out and move he would promise never again and I wanted to believe him, I wanted to be loved.  Not liked, loved.

After three rough years with some good fun and some very horrible days  he asked me to marry him.  I said no. He begged me to give him a chance and that he would never hit or kick me again.  I looked in his eyes and saw tears and thought he was being truthful.  I said yes alter knowing him for more than 3 years but less than four.  The night we went to get married he was in tears,  not me.

I know I was younger by ten years and I worked with lots of men.  I was going to driving school for big rigs too, so I could run a rig with him.  He was drinking more and more,  no I am not making an excuse just stating a fact.  He was changing and I was newly married.  I was not married three weeks when he beat me so bad I walked a local highway for twenty-five miles, hours walking and crying. I had a few truckers pull over to ask if I was OK and if I needed a ride.  I was a young blonde girl , in tears and they may have been nice but I kept walking.  No cell phones back then and when I got to an exit Mom is who I called.  Poor Mom grand baby gone, daughter bloody and bruised, but who else could I call?

Mom brought me home to their home and I washed up.   I had left our home and everything I owned behind.  Mom asked what he did after he was done beating me and I told her he had left for the road.  She drove me to a local Ford dealer who made me another key for my pick up I had left behind, he had the keys, and she took me up to get my things and truck.  Dad changed my ignition and the man I used to babysit for had a steering wheel tool, The Club he gave me as he would be able to get the door open.  I actually never thought I would see my husband again but sadly it was not the end of it.

 

I was out front of my parents home with my aunt and he came racing up to the house and before I knew what had happened he had my by my hair trying to drag me to his car.  My Mom and Aunt screamed at him to leave me alone and to leave before the police were called.  Why was no one on the phone already?   He finally took off when he saw I was not going willingly.

Again I stayed back home found a new job this time driving a truck by myself.  I was loving life.  Yes married but no word from him.

I went out Friday night with friends after two weeks on the job and a pay check for  two beers.  We were listening to a great band when up walks my husband and again grabs me by the hair and proceeds to drag me through a club and out the door,  no one stopping him.  Once outside one of my friends pushed him and he fell,  we were sober he was not.  Police were called but so was he by then.

 

It was nine months later when he waits at the top of my parents roads and waits to see me pull in.  He gets out and I yell for Mom to call the police.  This is crazy, she cares what the neighbors think.  Me I just want to live.

 

He comes up and says he is  sorry,  as I walk backwards he begged me to listen.  He said he was so sorry.  He also proceeds to tell me he has not touched a drop of alcohol  since the last time he saw me to which I jump in and say ” You mean when you dragged me by the hair out of a local club?”  He swore things would be different.  He swore he loved me.  Yes you know what I did,  I went back.  We were good for 6 months and he started having a  beer or two.

 

Now all this time apart you would think I was getting stronger but no just the opposite I was lost after I placed my baby for adoption wanting to be loved I kept believing  him and when he would tell me no one else would ever want me or love me I eventually believed this as well.

 

We had some nice days together but really more bad than good.  I stayed another 10 years in this odd marriage of a sad lady and a drunk man.  It is a recipe for disaster.  We had his son living full-time for maybe five years of our marriage and he was also physically and verbally as well as emotionally abused.   One night after his Dad was horrible to him he picked up the phone no not to call the police but to call his brother and he moved out.

 

We had two rigs I drove one him the other.   I drove local and he was on the road.  I had peace till he arrived home.

 

I met him in the end of 1978 and in May of 1995 I called the police on him for the very first time.  He had held a loaded gun to my head and told me I smelled to good to have been in a rig all day. I asked him to put the dogs out before he killed me so they would not see me like that.  He lowered the 44 cal. pistol   and poured himself another drink.  He had made it up to almost two fifths of Canadian Club on a drinking day.  When he passed out I hid the gun.  I told him he was to LEAVE NOW and to GET OUT.  I   called the police and they escorted him from the home.  I went the next day and got a retraining order on him.  A year later the judge told him to watch me leave the court room,  as I was the best thing he ever had in his life and he had destroyed me as well.

When I received my divorce decree,  I was given a permanent restraining order  against him.  Funny I guess no one read his to him.  A year to the day he showed up here wanting to say Hi.  I yelled from the door ” I’m calling the police!  ”  he walked out of the yard and I have never laid eyes on him again.  I also gave him all the so-called friends and I set about rebuilding my life.  Working hard,  giving love another chance to ending that after  eight years, on my terms.  It was time to make my life for me and a few years  after being alone,  the one man I always loved walked back into my life.  I am so blessed.

 

I now know why I made it.  I had Angels watching over me through all the beatings and the insanity of me sticking it out , till a gun was pulled.    I am strong.  I made it when so many lost their lives loving the wrong person,  better yet not loving themselves.  I now know I stopped loving me the day I signed on that bottom line letting my baby go to a home where I would not be. I knew what I did for that couple  with no baby of their own was good but I hated myself that day so why would anyone ever love me, really love me.

 

So now that my son and I have found each other and he knows I always loved him and he loves me I can finally let go of the pain of loss and begin to live  again.

I am working on  accepting the fact that I  deserve happiness though  it doesn’t come easy for me.  Funny how it all comes together after a 32 year detour  but it has and I am so very  happy to share my world with the love of my life and my son and my two cute pets and all of you.

 

I am so blessed.

 

Peace………..coming slowly

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As a new year begins for me alongside this stream I feel like the time is coming to share a few personal things with you.

No not that personal  well then again maybe.

You know insight, a reason for still being here.  I thought I could hide behind a few pretty pictures but a few have seen through my exterior and are behind me hiding but also know in time my story will come to light.  I am really writing a few books, I have the words all in my head now to make them come out the way you who write do.  Guess that is my fear that in telling a story  the reason for it gets lost in the wrong words as I am not a writer maybe more a story-teller, again hiding the real heartbreak.

So 35 years ago I was a month away from having my baby.  No way of knowing the sex back then.  I was just 21 and the baby’s father wanted me to have an abortion.  Are you kidding me,  this is what you say to a young woman you have known all your life.  A girl next door.  One you had unprotected sex with not once but two times.  I was devastated that I was pregnant and unmarried me the good girl, the Girl Scout,  the Rainbow Girl.  I do not know what I wanted him to say as he was not marriage material,  I knew that but we were friends.  He was a year older and had lived a troubled life,  I know I have to stop making excuses for him.  So I grabbed the cash that was offered to FIX IT and drove home in tears.

 

I told no one. Only he and I knew.  I did tell him before walking out with the cash to NEVER come near me again.

I went to a clinic finally in my six month.   I then told my Mom in the seventh month I guess that way no one could do a thing about it,  like what he had suggested.   My Mom was upset but I was 21 and living out on my own and working sixteen hours each day.  What she did not know till my eighth month was that I had gone down to a local adoption agency and had picked new parents out for my baby, who had yet to be born.

Her sister had cancer and could not have babies and had adopted two little boys that she adored.  She made a difference in their lives.  Two boys from two different mothers.  Her world was complete.  I knew I would be a great mom I was awesome with children but I could not be a dad as well.  My child deserved the best in life and I set out alone to make that happen.  Twenty one really was young back then to do all that thinking alone.  The ocean became my favorite place to go and walk in tears or sit and think and pray to God for him to watch over this child.

So in my eighth month I asked Mom to go to the adoption agency and sign the papers as a witness.  I look back now and think what a horrible person I must have been to make her sign below my name giving up the first grandchild.  She wanted me to bring home the baby and with their help I could do it she assured me I could but it was my child and I wanted more for it.  She never spoke to my dad about signing the papers and when he took me to the hospital in labor that Saturday morning he had no idea what I was doing.  I knew I had disappointed them and brought shame upon them but I always made it better in my mind knowing I had chosen life for my child and a home where they wanted a baby so bad because they could not have their own. I am not sure my parents ever truly forgave me in their hearts as it was never spoken about again.  You see I  was all alone at the hospital in labor doctor said I could still change my mind,  it was my baby. Nurses held my hand as I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy. Blonde hair and Blue eyes.  He weighed 9 lbs. 8 oz. I had him completely natural. I swore to God that day I would do anything  and go through what ever hell I had to as long as he  always watched over my baby.

That baby will be thirty-six come February.   Yes I met him over the phone when he was 31. A year and half later he drove into my front yard here along this stream, where he said a Great Blue Heron had welcomed him.  He may have been away from me for thirty-one years but without a doubt he is truly my child.  He is so beautiful ok handsome and such a beautiful artist and I will be sharing all I can about him,  with you,  because he has made a beautiful ending that all stories should have.

 

Now there will be some more stories I will share with you  that you can be sure of  but my days are numbered with you,  hiding behind photos.  I will really kick it into gear to sell them as cards, puzzles or prints. You see I really am writing a few books when I can sit with less pain in my heart .

Thank you Chris another blogger who knows another part of my life through our blogging but this is where the life I lead began and it where I really had to begin the story from,  as after thirty-one years  I finally know WHY.  Why I was who I was.  Why I allowed others to do what they did to me but you know what there is a very happy ending and I thank God for making that possible.  There have been many  times in my son’s life and mine that  had things gone differently we never would have held each other and kissed or felt complete.

 

Thanks for listening

Eunice

A Frisky Cat As Storm Arrived

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She is playing Peek A Boo.   I better watch out she is 12 and now acting like a kitten again.   I am blessed with such beautiful animals but I bet you may have heard me say that already, sorry

 

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When Mom gave us her cats old tower I never thought ours would love it as she does.  Her cat and ours are the same age but I think Mom said he didn’t like it anymore because she is 77 and not up to chasing him around much anymore.  This toy was attached to the huge tower and as you can see our little girl is full of playfulness

 

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She is watching me take her photos and really waiting for me to wiggle it again so she can KILL IT

 

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THE LOOK!  I better watch my hands and face

 

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She has now turned away from me and her toys and is watching all those pretty Chickadees, Nuthatches, Blue Jays, Juncos, Finch and pretty Red Cardinals.  The birds are loving that an area has been cleared of two days worth of snow and I have spread on top of the snow some fresh seed for the ground eaters.

 

Not sure if I told you this cats story I must get my scanner plugged in so I can show you her and her sister who an old boyfriend saved from a woman who was going to do away with.  Yes kill.  He came home from work and walked in with a picnic basket I looked at him kind of strange and he said I brought you something.  How nice a basket for me to fill with goodies he wants me to cook oh I love those kinds of gifts no really this was very odd flowers all the time picnic baskets no.

 

He sat it down on the couch and he told me to check it out and when I opened it there were two tiny 3 or 4 week old kittens huddled together inside, scared.  I had lost my 15  year old cat not long before and missed Rocky so much.  These two had the same markings but this ones sister was Gray.  They were so beautiful.  They did everything together.  They would climb up us and knead our clothes and suck on our clothing,  they missed their Mommy and I would need to get their food soft enough for them to lap up.  I also started giving them a quarter size of Half and Half this kitty up above still 12 years later knows when my coffee is ready she gets her treat.

Now when he brought these two home  we had 3 of my dogs still alive plus I told him to bring his dog over to join my family pets.  I have to tell you these four dogs were the most gentle dogs I have ever seen.  My three were hunting dogs, Springer Spaniels and his was a mix which was the goofiest  dog I had ever met.  Just a happy go lucky dog he was  sort of like his owner.  Add laughter here.  Now back to the two kittens when the dogs would come in wet they would lay for hours licking the dogs paws dry.  I am serious this place I live is amazing.  They were lost when all 3 dogs were put down at 13 to 15 years old somehow they all got so old their lives were spent in horrible pain and they were ready.  I went maybe a year or two without a dog it was hard.

 

Now for the sad part just after we brought JT home from a farm in VT all of us were out playing in the yard the two cats, the puppy and us.  It was end of June and cats stayed out for hours running the yard or sunning themselves.  When we went in for the night I yelled for the two cats Rhythm and Blues to come in yes they were cats but came when called just like they were dogs.  Rhythm came running and Blues didn’t that was odd they were always joined at the hip.  I yelled for her over and over and the current man in my life (last man) said she will be back but she never was.  She was the most loving of the two and adored the dogs had she had a run in with a Fisher Cat or a Fox I didn’t know about the Coyotes being out back, back then.  Ron said he had seen a huge Owl as well.  They were smaller type barn cats.  We have Hawks too.  The worst part,  night after night for me,  was calling out to see if I could hear her cries, I never did. It tore me to pieces the not knowing what had happened to our loving and trusting cat.

So this cat above now follows me like she is a dog.  She stays with us on walks like she knows.  With the snow for last few days she has not wanted to go out not sure if it the deep snow on her feet or the winds kicking up a scent of something evil lurking close bye but I am happy she choose to spend more time inside with us.  I know she is old now but cats can live a lot longer than dogs so I am hoping for more days with her up upon her new cat tower.

 

When her and JT are no longer here with us there will be no more pets for me,  I just can’t the GOODBYES.

PS I forgot to tell you at twelve she still wants to knead our clothing and suck on us  kind of odd but I do allow it till her claws start to poke my skin  then she is placed beside me much to JT’s disgust she is not like the other dogs in my past she doesn’t like to share.

 

 

 

 

Another Soul Lost

This is what I was saying in my post Why?
It is happening more than most of you will ever know
I drove a school bus and you would be shocked.
So when your child or your siblings child acts like this speak up offer support and help them GET HELP or this will never end and will surly get so much worse.

:(

Eunice

Written by Liza Long, republished from The Blue Review

Friday’s horrific national tragedy — the murder of 20 children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut — has ignited a new discussion on violence in America. In kitchens and coffee shops across the country, we tearfully debate the many faces of violence in America: gun culture, media violence, lack of mental health services, overt and covert wars abroad, religion, politics and the way we raise our children. Liza Long, a writer based in Boise, says it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.

“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.

“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”

“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”

“You can’t wear whatever pants you want to,” I said, my tone affable, reasonable. “And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You’re grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school.”

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9-year-old siblings knew the safety plan — they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.

That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local emergency room. The mental hospital didn’t have any beds that day, and Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric psychiatrist.

We still don’t know what’s wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD,  Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.

At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he’s in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He’s in a good mood most of the time. But when he’s not, watch out. And it’s impossible to predict what will set him off.

Several weeks into his new junior high school, Michael began exhibiting increasingly odd and threatening behaviors at school. We decided to transfer him to the district’s most restrictive behavioral program, a contained school environment where children who can’t function in normal classrooms can access their right to free public babysitting from 7:30-1:50 Monday through Friday until they turn 18.

The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, “Look, Mom, I’m really sorry. Can I have video games back today?”

“No way,” I told him. “You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly.”

His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. “Then I’m going to kill myself,” he said. “I’m going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself.”

That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.
“Where are you taking me?” he said, suddenly worried. “Where are we going?”

“You know where we are going,” I replied.

“No! You can’t do that to me! You’re sending me to hell! You’re sending me straight to hell!”

I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. “Call the police,” I said. “Hurry.”

Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him close so he couldn’t escape from the car. He bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I’m still stronger than he is, but I won’t be for much longer.
The police came quickly and carried my son screaming and kicking into the bowels of the hospital. I started to shake, and tears filled my eyes as I filled out the paperwork — “Were there any difficulties with… at what age did your child… were there any problems with.. has your child ever experienced.. does your child have…”

At least we have health insurance now. I recently accepted a position with a local college, giving up my freelance career because when you have a kid like this, you need benefits. You’ll do anything for benefits. No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.

For days, my son insisted that I was lying — that I made the whole thing up so that I could get rid of him. The first day, when I called to check up on him, he said, “I hate you. And I’m going to get my revenge as soon as I get out of here.”

By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to get better. I’ve heard those promises for years. I don’t believe them anymore.

On the intake form, under the question, “What are your expectations for treatment?” I wrote, “I need help.”

And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.

I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am Jason Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

According to Mother Jones, since 1982, 61 mass murders involving firearms have occurred throughout the country. Of these, 43 of the killers were white males, and only one was a woman. Mother Jones focused on whether the killers obtained their guns legally (most did). But this highly visible sign of mental illness should lead us to consider how many people in the U.S. live in fear, like I do.

When I asked my son’s social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. “If he’s back in the system, they’ll create a paper trail,” he said. “That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you’ve got charges.”

I don’t believe my son belongs in jail. The chaotic environment exacerbates Michael’s sensitivity to sensory stimuli and doesn’t deal with the underlying pathology. But it seems like the United States is using prison as the solution of choice for mentally ill people. According to Human Rights Watch, the number of mentally ill inmates in U.S. prisons quadrupled from 2000 to 2006, and it continues to rise — in fact, the rate of inmate mental illness is five times greater (56 percent) than in the non-incarcerated population.

With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill — Rikers Island, the LA County Jail and Cook County Jail in Illinois housed the nation’s largest treatment centers in 2011.

No one wants to send a 13-year old genius who loves Harry Potter and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on mental illness and its broken healthcare system, does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, “Something must be done.”

I agree that something must be done. It’s time for a meaningful, nation-wide conversation about mental health. That’s the only way our nation can ever truly heal.

God help me. God help Michael. God help us all.

(Originally published at The Anarchist Soccer Mom.)

 

WHY? Will Always Be The Question

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Today we will walk the shore before the snow moves in and covers this beautiful seaside landscape but with an ocean storm soon to brew,  we will be back next week with both metal detectors to see what has been thrown up upon the sand.

Our hearts are broken with all the senseless killing of adults and children here in New England as well as all over this world we live in. This family lived less than five miles from me until just over 10 years ago.  There had to be warning signals. I see them in children of friends and no one ever seems to say a word.  I am one who speaks up and then pulls away when the correct thing is not done,  though if something as horrible as a plot was known to me I would say something but would authorities interfere?

I own guns, I have been trained in the use of them and would never hesitate to protect someone from being killed, by someone who meant them harm.  I am not evil, my gun is not evil but sadly not all who are allowed to PLAY WITH GUNS, SHOULD.

So as you go about your daily lives judging or just keeping your mouths shut for fear of hurting someones feelings or even just minding your OWN BUSINESS,  know that by closing yours eyes to the obvious you are in fact perpetuating evil,  ever so small it may be at the time.  I see how children treat their parents I am sure you have too or how they treat animals and even strangers.  We all have seen this.  I decided a long time ago I would give up my life to protect someone from loosing theirs,  it is just who I am. I will not walk by as someone is mistreating another human or animal they are supposed to love and respect.  I will say something for the person or animal unable to SPEAK UP for themselves.

The poor families from this recent mass murder now face a lifetime without their babies and for those who just went to work at that school who lost their lives they leave families behind left to ask WHY?

Please say a prayer for them and your loved ones as you never know when true evil will walk in on them

Old Dogs…. a Tribute……

nutsfortreasure:

From another who knows true love

Originally posted on Collies Of The Meadow:

299567_2550543367602_772842029_nTrevor Forever with Tigger……

“If you open your heart to let dogs in, you will eventually be blessed with a once in a lifetime chum. It isn’t that you love your others dogs any less, but rather you love this one special animal more. The bond between the two of you is stronger, the connection deeper, the understanding clearer.”
-Kristina Marshall from FOREVER FRIENDS

I have been blessed with three of them whom I have lost.. I have my fourth one now…..Trevor Forever is perhaps the most unusual and unlikely collie to be one of these dogs…. in a kennel in a barn till 5, he then ran free in a outside kennel with lots of friends till 7… then he came to me and adopted me….  I can;t imagine what he would’ve been if he could’ve been with us from the time of being a pup…… this picture speaks…

View original 363 more words

BIG ONE

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Big dog right?

Loved as you can see.

This dog loves to play but on this day in the pouring rain, where I had entered JT into two rounds of Disc Dog play,  this Great Dane had spent the day either taking cover in the back of his owners posh van.  Then he popped out to check out the action on the field.

I love BIG DOGS

Not so much the small barking ones,  well I love ALL DOGS but not for ME.   I love happy dogs that are quiet.  JT does bark like a dog should danger appear in our yard,  in the form of an animal posing danger NOT THE TURKEYS  and BIRDS, but any human even if she knows then will receive a bark,  one barks says Hello I know you and the other Mom you better get here quick and yes I do know the difference.

I have owned two Great Danes.

My first was my ex-husbands , half-sister (first time I had ever heard that term) Great Dane puppy  who had bitten her.  Oh joy he was bringing back to our home a dog with an anger issue.  This was in 1979.  The pup, HUGE AS HE WAS came bounding out of his caddie  heading straight at me!  I had never seen a dog so big but said “Hi Sasquatch” (Big Foot).  His sister at least was cool about naming her dog,   a cool and very appropriate name.  He ran up and almost knocked me down!  A very happy go lucky, though rambunctious soul he was, boy you should have seen him skate across those hardwood floors, guess the ex never gave the home a thought when it came to this beautiful dog.

It only took a few days for us to get used to each others routine.  He ate like a horse!  He would come in to wake me each morning by gently grabbing my forearm,  gentle he was but I was still covered in Black and  Blue marks. The ex was on the road a lot back then and I was only living with him then and was not working so it was a perfect time to train this dog properly.  I have to say I never saw a mean gesture from this pup but  happy tail could leave a nasty bruise though.  I would attempt to walk him many times each day I say attempt as he mostly walked me!  What a sight we must have been to the passerby. A young blonde with this HUGE BLACK DOG leading her around.  How I loved Sass.

It was the following year on an early October day when I had to go do something and I wasn’t going to be long but there really wasn’t enough room in my Pinto for him to stay in for more than a few minutes.  Usually he took my small car to work and left the Caddie but today he had not.  So I dashed out leaving him on his run, we had 5 acres and I would only be gone a couple of hours.

I came home and Sass was gone.  I yelled his name I called and called for him and no dog returned.  I cried and cried I did not know what to think.  We had had a freak 2 inches of snow and I was praying a neighbor had welcomed him in or my ex had come home and taken him with him.  When he came in from work with no Sass I was destroyed what would he do out there all alone in the snow with no dinner.   I called every agency as well as every vet, I put up signs with his photo.  Seems there was a group of thugs that were stealing dogs from their yards and police told me that he was probably a victim of foul play.  You know I would take rides at night and call out for him.  All day my eyes searched the roads and fields for him.  As Halloween approached I prayed that who ever took him would open the door to pass out candy and he could make his escape.  I had so many sleepless nights and even dreamed one time that I found him wasted away,  skin and bones with white paint on him dripping in the rain, like they tried to cover up the big beautiful black dog I loved so much.  Yes loss of a pet affects me to my core.  People have nicknamed me Ellie May you know like the Clampets.  I just love animals so very much and just always want the very best for them.

My Uncle called to say there was a Great Dane he knew of that was being mistreated and would I be interested in giving him a home.  There started the life I lead with dogs needing love and a little food isn’t that what we all need?

His name was Brutus though he was so sweet and walked beside me so sweetly and he adored me as much as I did him.  He knew there would be no more beatings.  He got to live out his life with me till his hips caused so much pain I had to have him laid to rest.  Yes it was hard but seeing him yelp in pain I could not do anything about was even worse.  So I held him and told him I loved him so much and said goodbye.

We were now without any pets and I married him abusive as he was I begged him to sell his home so we could buy a rig and hit the road I was praying the drinking and abusive behavior he dealt out to me would stop if we were busy driving 20 hours a day but that is a story for another day.  It is so hard to share my life with you  as so many tears fall as I try to clear my heart of pain by letting go of all of it.  It is why I dwell on the pretty stuff.

Thanks for checking out the Big Beautiful Dane above  and hearing the story about the two special ones, who shared their lives with me, even though it was too short of a time.  I know they loved me too.

Damn Dam

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This has been here hiding in the woods since the 50’s

When you get close to the actual dam , it is posted  KEEP OUT

The woods before it were not

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Now there is an old part and then another concrete structure that is very long and very tall, all it’s for is to hold water in the lake so they can boat and they drain it over and over into this small tiny stream each year so they do not have to pull their docks up and out of the way.

This stream is the one that makes my southern boundary, which is being destroyed .  Year after year so then can keep their stationary DOCKS.

I never knew that this was 3 miles out in the woods behind my property and if it failed it would be catastrophic, we would all die down stream in minutes.

Such a pretty place but they do not want to follow regulations the state wants them to.  I thought I had problems.  Well next I will  find out how often it is checked,  as our state is cutting budgets and bridges are crumbling  what about DAMS?

100_2872

100_2873

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This section is about 200 yards downstream

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100_2892

Yes,  I worked my way around to a place where I could get a different view of a dam,  that could truly wipe us out downstream.  I am now scared as we have had a few earthquakes, a couple of tornadoes and many hurricanes and this sits 3 miles behind me

Dam Open Water Gone

100_2971

 

Well they had another draw down at the lake and you can see more of the islands show up, as well as the shoreline.

Come to find out it is the association here that wants to release so much water,  so that they can  leave their docks in the water all winter.

 

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My yard is one of many taking it all so they can keep doing what they want.  This will now become a push and shove deal and I will fight for my land,  as this is MY HOME not a SUMMER COTTAGE.

 

100_2972

 

Absolutely insane to be drawn down so much,  that water is eight feet below where it runs normally.

 

I thought all of this was being done with a few boards, was I ever surprised to see what is behind my house,  hidden in the woods and should it fail,  as dams did in Katrina, we will be dead in minuets.  I will show you what has been destroying my beautiful landscape,  year after year,  in a few days, if I can get any sleep now.

Originally posted on Rivers of Hope:

The 100-plus workers who died in a fire late Saturday at a high-rise garment factory in Bangladeshwere working overtime making clothes for major American retailers, including Wal-Mart, according to workers’ rights groups.

Officials in Bangladesh said the flames at the Tazreen Fashions factory outside Dhaka spread rapidly on the ground floor, trapping those on the higher floors of the nine-story building. There were no exterior fire escapes, according to officials, and many died after jumping from upper floors to escape the flames.

As firemen continued to remove bodies Sunday, officials said at least 112 people had died but that the number of fatalities could go higher.

The Tazreen fire is the latest in a series of deadly blazes at garment factories in Bangladesh, where more than 700 workers, many making clothes for U.S. consumers, have died in factory fires…

View original 380 more words

Good Morning

Just want to pop in before the week gets crazy for all of you baking and cooking up a storm or running off to catch a plane.  I wanted to thank each and every one of you for following and or liking my space here with you.  This is a  wonderful time of the year. A time to give THANKS for all we have.  Times are really tough not only here in the US but sadly around this world.  I pray daily for this world to live in Peace and Harmony.

I hope you will make memories here in the states with your family and friends.  That you travel safely to and from your homes.

You see it  is coming upon the day my life changed with one rear-end collision.

I had spent Thanksgiving at my parents home with my brother and his family also attending.  We left early as I had to drive a dump truck the following day/  A girl has to work you know.  So I did I trucked probably 13 loads that day for the boss and then met up with my boyfriend at the time and his boss.  They asked if I wanted to go to the Casino.  I really did not want to go I had been driving all day in heavy equipment which can beat you up pretty badly.  Seems they had discussed going for a few hours long before I showed up.  Men!  Well neither of them had rights to drive a car so in the end I said I would go for a few hours, two-hour trip down maybe five hours there figuring that would be enough time for them to lose all their cash, me I love games of chance but work so hard for my money and am so responsible that I take just $50.  This night we left at 8:00 PM from his boss’s home and headed south to CT.  We were going to Foxwoods.    We made good time as there really was no traffic due to it being a holiday weekend.  I went in with them and watched for a little while then I placed $20 into a One Armed Bandit machine,  SLOTS  I like the lights flashing and the sounds that come from them but not how they suck you into feeding them more and more hard-earned money.  So I played that $20 for all she was worth till it was gone then told the men I was going to get some sleep out in our conversion van.  I slept till his boss who was also tired wanted in to sleep as well.  I fell back to sleep till about 4 AM and wanted to head north so I went in search of the boyfriend.  I found him glued to a Poker Machine and I said we wanted to head home.  He answered “but I’m up $500!”  I laughed and said “good as we could use the extra cash for heating and Christmas”.  Not happy but not having a license he had no choice but to cash out and make his way with me home.  The dogs would need to go out by the time we got back.  We had 3 of them.

Now we are all in the van and getting ready to leave the parking area and I  make plans to go to the coffee shop a DD at the next light.  While sitting in our new van at a Red light we were rear-ended by a Casino Tour Bus doing 35 mph or more.  I went unconscious upon impact his boss’s eardrum blew as he was laying down on back bench seat and boyfriend was pinned for a moment in the passenger side.  No air bags deployed who knew they did not when you are hit from behind.  Every seat that was being used by us snapped upon impact.  No none of us had seat belts on as we were just going into a local coffee shop for a cup for the ride home.  I would have broken left leg and two thigh bones had I k=not been thrown to the rear of the van.  My left calf is still HUGE after 12 years.  Knee is still torn to pieces not to say a thing about my back.  The two of them who stayed in their seats healed over time but I am left with injuries and memories of a night just the day after showing many thanks.

It was 4 years later the doctors sat me down and said I would probably never drive a Big Rig again and on my Birthday.  Such a very sad day for me. I tear up still with just going back to that day.

 

So now 12 years later I am alive and very thankful to be. So many things in my life would be so different had that accident not occurred I know that now but it was still a long 12 years.

So really pay attention while out there not only to your driving but put down the phone and pay attention my parents almost lost me that day and it was the bus driver on the phone.

 

No pretty photo for this post as there really was none.

I have made up for it this past 6 months with all of you.  Thanks for being there when I needed you the most.

XO

Eunice

Land in Trust I Think NOT

nutsfortreasure:

Add your thoughts here… (optional)

Originally posted on 20 Lines A Day:

I am so sad over the loss of my one Weeping Willow Tree

I have been here many years to watch it grow

I know it is just a tree

Why is it causing me so much woe

When just out back  behind the barn

In the name of conservation

So many trees have come to harm

OH  how I am so sorry they meant so little

They said they were coming here to protect the forest

I am here to tell you as many plant trees

I have a Land Trust raping this land

They are not taking out dead trees, like we are

They are taking down and grinding up healthy ones

JT and I walked along what used to be a pretty trail

Today it was ugly not due to a Beaver but by MAN

 

THE SAW

 

Parts of Pines

 

 

WHY

 

Just Left Here

View original 44 more words

Weeping Willow

She really is weeping as her days are now numbered.  The Beavers started to attack her bark and left plenty of gashes to tell me they were going to finish her off.  This tress was a small beauty when I mover her in 1988 here it is 2012 and will be gone if our bodies hold up, by 2013.  I really need to be the one to take her down if left to the beavers it may take out the bedroom and us if we are in the bed.  We do not have thousands to pay a tree company so we will do it a little at a time.  I felt like we won in a way because one section they were gnawing on is now down, they will know I have had enough.  I know they have to survive as well but our loss of a home or possible life or that of pets we love will have us working hard to take it down safely.  I will use the willow pieces as stepping-stones in the yard, well till they become one with the landscape once again.  She did her best to suck up flood waters over and over and though she looks gnarly and battered for all the storms she withstood  her insides were beautifully healthy.  The squirrels have lived up in the nook for years as winter approaches I do not know where they will go but sadly it is out of our hands she has to go on our terms to keep our home safe from ruin.  There will be more grass to mow  but I will plant a new Willow in her place and wrap her tender bark with metal fencing then a pretty fence for the outside world to see and I will fill it with plants and flowers the wildlife will love for cover and food, it is the best I can do.

 

Beavers

Damage a Beaver does

Looks like he was leaving me a NOTE

 

beavers

 

beaver damage

Port of Entry

 

 

 

weeping willow

No longer Healthy

 

cleaning up the smaller pieces

 

First huge limb down and being cut up

 

Now for thinner slices to reuse as stepping-stones in the garden area

That will have to wait as we are so sore from all we did yesterday.

I will miss her when she is gone I hate killing trees Beaver well now

 

Tools

 

Joy of having your own HOMESTEAD and I thought Sunday’s were a day to REST!

 

I am happy to report no Beavers were killed yesterday while we were ready for them but we did have visitors 6 of them and they could not be happier with the river lower than it was and all the bugs they were finding.

 

Mallards are not DESTRUCTIVE just Pretty
:)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Originally posted on News 92 FM | Official Site for Houston News, Traffic, Weather, Breaking News:

Credit Getty Images

According to a press release from the U.S. Coast Guard, seventeen people aboard a replica of the HMS Bounty abandoned ship early Monday while stranded at sea off the North Carolina coast.  Donning survival suits and boarding life boats, the crew of the distressed ship abandoned the vessel as Hurricane Sandy swirled toward the East Coast.

The owner of the 180-foot, three mast ship lost communication with the crew and alerted the Coast Guard to the situation. The Coast Guard then received a distress signal from the ship showing its position.  It sent out an aircraft to speak with the crew, which reported that the vessel was taking on water and had no propulsion.

The ship, which is still floating upright and intact  about 90 miles southeast of Hatteras, N.C., is surrounded by 18-foot seas and 40 mph winds as Hurricane Sandy moves through the area.

The ship is a…

View original 32 more words

Sandy

Here is a story posted on Yahoo about what is possible for us here on our side of the US and also on the west coast of CA they just had a 7.7 Earthquake.  Just say a little prayer for our world today would you.

 

SHIP BOTTOM, N.J. – Forget distinctions like tropical storm or hurricane. Don’t get fixated on a particular track. Wherever it hits, the rare behemoth storm inexorably gathering in the eastern U.S. will afflict a third of the country with sheets of rain, high winds and heavy snow, say officials who warned millions in coastal areas to get out of the way.

“We’re looking at impact of greater than 50 to 60 million people,” said Louis Uccellini, head of environmental prediction for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

As Hurricane Sandy barrelled north from the Caribbean — where it left nearly five dozen dead — to meet two other powerful winter storms, experts said it didn’t matter how strong the storm was when it hit land: The rare hybrid storm that follows will cause havoc over 800 miles from the East Coast to the Great Lakes.

“This is not a coastal threat alone,” said Craig Fugate, director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. “This is a very large area.”

President Barack Obama was monitoring the storm and working with state and locals governments to make sure they get the resources needed to prepare, administration officials said.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie declared a state of emergency Saturday as hundreds of coastal residents started moving inland and the state was set to close its casinos. New York’s governor was considering shutting down the subways to avoid flooding and half a dozen states warned residents to prepare for several days of lost power.

Sandy weakened briefly to a tropical storm Saturday but was soon back up to Category 1 strength, packing 75 mph winds. It was about 275 miles south-southeast of Cape Hatteras, N.C., and moving northeast at 14 mph as of 2 a.m. Sunday. Forecasters said the storm was spreading tropical stormconditions across the coastline of North Carolina, and they were expected to move up the mid-Atlantic coastline late Sunday. Experts said the storm was most likely to hit the southern New Jersey coastline by late Monday or early Tuesday.

Governors from North Carolina, where heavy rain was expected Sunday, to Connecticut declared states of emergency. Delaware ordered mandatory evacuations for coastal communities by 8 p.m. Sunday.

Christie, who was widely criticized for not interrupting a family vacation in Florida while a snowstorm pummeled the state in 2010, broke off campaigning for Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney in North Carolina on Friday to return home.

“I can be as cynical as anyone,” Christie said in a bit of understatement Saturday. “But when the storm comes, if it’s as bad as they’re predicting, you’re going to wish you weren’t as cynical as you otherwise might have been.”

The storm forced the presidential campaign to juggle schedules. Romney scrapped plans to campaign Sunday in the swing state of Virginia and switched his schedule for the day to Ohio. First lady Michelle Obama cancelled an appearance in New Hampshire for Tuesday, and Obama moved a planned Monday departure for Florida to Sunday night to beat the storm. He cancelled appearances in Northern Virginia on Monday and Colorado on Tuesday.

In Ship Bottom, just north of Atlantic City, Alice and Giovanni Stockton-Rossini spent Saturday packing clothing in the backyard of their home, a few hundred yards from the ocean on Long Beach Island. Their neighbourhood was under a voluntary evacuation order, but they didn’t need to be forced.

“It’s really frightening,” Alice Stockton-Rossi said. “But you know how many times they tell you, ‘This is it, it’s really coming and it’s really the big one’ and then it turns out not to be? I’m afraid people will tune it out because of all the false alarms before … (but) this one might be the one.”

A few blocks away, Russ Linke was taking no chances. He and his wife secured the patio furniture, packed the bicycles into the pickup truck, and headed off the island.

What makes the storm so dangerous and unusual is that it is coming at the tail end of hurricane season and the beginning of winter storm season, “so it’s kind of taking something from both,” said Jeff Masters, director of the private service Weather Underground.

Masters said the storm could be bigger than the worst East Coast storm on record — the 1938 New England hurricane known as the Long Island Express, which killed nearly 800 people. “Part hurricane, part nor’easter — all trouble,” he said. Experts said to expect high winds over 800 miles and up to 2 feet of snow as far inland as West Virginia.

And the storm was so big, and the convergence of the three storms so rare, that “we just can’t pinpoint who is going to get the worst of it,” said Rick Knabb, director of the National Hurricane Center in Miami.

Officials are particularly worried about the possibility of subway flooding in New York City, said Uccellini.

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo told the Metropolitan Transportation Authority to prepare to shut the city’s subways, buses and suburban trains by Sunday, but delayed making a final decision. The city shut the subways down before last year’s Hurricane Irene, and a Columbia University study predicted that an Irene surge just 1 foot higher would have paralyzed lower Manhattan.

Up and down the Eastern Seaboard and far inland, officials urged residents and businesses to prepare in big ways and little.

On Saturday evening, Amtrak began cancelling train service to parts of the East Coast, including between Washington, D.C., and New York. Airlines started moving planes out of East Coast airports to avoid damage and adding flights out of New York and Washington on Sunday in preparation for flight cancellations on Monday.

The Virginia National Guard was authorized to call up to 500 troops to active duty for debris removal and road-clearing, while homeowners stacked sandbags at their front doors in coastal towns. At a Home Depot in Virginia Beach, employee Dave Jusino said the store was swamped with customers.

“We have organized chaos, is what I call it,” Jusino said. “We organize a group of 10 associates, give them certain responsibilities and we just separate the lines, organize four customers at a time, load up their cars and get them out the door and then take the next customers.”

Utility officials warned rains could saturate the ground, causing trees to topple into power lines, and told residents to prepare for several days at home without power. “We’re facing a very real possibility of widespread, prolonged power outages,” said Ruth Miller, spokeswoman for the Pennsylvania Emergency Management Agency.

Warren Ellis, who was on an annual fishing pilgrimage on North Carolina’s Outer Banks, didn’t act fast enough to get home. Ellis’ 73-year-old father managed to get off uninhabited Portsmouth Island near Cape Hatteras by ferry Friday. But the son and his camper got stranded when high winds and surf forced the ferry service to suspend operations Saturday.

“We might not get off here until Tuesday or Wednesday, which doesn’t hurt my feelings that much,” said Ellis, 44, of Amissville, Va. “Because the fishing’s going to be really good after this storm.”

Last year, Hurricane Irene poked a new inlet through the island, cutting the only road off Hatteras Island for about 4,000.

In Connecticut, the Naval Submarine Base in Groton prepared to install flood gates and pile up sandbags to protect against flooding while its five submarines remain in port through the storm.

Lobsterman Greg Griffen in Maine wasn’t taking any chances; he moved 100 of his traps to deep water, where they are less vulnerable to shifting and damage in a storm.

“Some of my competitors have been pulling their traps and taking them right home,” said Griffen. The dire forecast “sort of encouraged them to pull the plug on the season.”

In Muncy Valley in northern Pennsylvania, Rich Fry learned his lesson from last year, when Tropical Storm Lee inundated his Katie’s Country Store.

In between helping customers picking up necessities Saturday, Fry was moving materials above the flood line. Fry said he was still trying to recover from the losses of last year’s storm, when he estimates he lost $35,000 in merchandise.

“It will take a lot of years to cover that,” he said.

Christie’s emergency declaration will force the shutdown of Atlantic City’s 12 casinos for only the fourth time in the 34-year history of legalized gambling here. The approach of Hurricane Irene shut down the casinos for three days last August.

Atlantic City officials said they would begin evacuating the gambling hub’s 30,000 residents at noon Sunday, busing them to mainland shelters and schools.

Tom Foley, Atlantic City’s emergency management director, recalled the March 1962 storm when the ocean and the bay met in the centre of the city.

“This is predicted to get that bad,” he said.

Eighty-five-year-old former sailor Ray Leonard said if he had loved ones living in the projected landfall area, he would tell them to leave. Leonard knows to heed the warnings.

He and two crewmates in his 32-foot sailboat, Satori, rode out 1991’s infamous “perfect storm,” made famous by the Sebastian Junger bestseller of the same name, before being plucked from the Atlantic off Martha’s Vineyard, Mass., by a Coast Guard helicopter.

“Don’t be rash,” Leonard said in a telephone interview Saturday from his home in Fort Myers, Fla. “Because if this does hit, you’re going to lose all those little things you’ve spent the last 20 years feeling good about.”

___

Before and After “Dam Work”

Lower Yard

Yard Washing Away

Around noon today, water still coming in  so it is time to go see WHY

Chest High

Just before we get to the other side where we hear water running this stuff is full of Deer Ticks even after a hard frost.

DAM

 

 

 

 

The Newest Dam

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Backed Up

 

 

 

1 Hour Later

 

 

 

 

Hoping the rest is gone by morning

Since people no longer wear fur the trappers have been scarce and these animals are out of control damming all the local rivers and streams we all had 4 feet of water in our homes and one house was actually not saved as the owners sold out while they could still get enough to have a newer home high and dry and not anywhere near WATER!  Had they just paid attention and went out when they saw trouble brewing they never would have lost their dream home to the DAMN BEAVERS!

nutsfortreasure:

A challenge from over at 20 lines A Day what would you tell YOURSELF?

Originally posted on 20 Lines A Day:

Dear Eunice @16

Listen to your Mother.  She really does know what is best.  She wants to save you years of pain.

You are a good girl.  You are so talented. Always remember  you can be anything you want to be.

Believe in yourself and never ever let anyone hurt you.  You are stubborn so I know you will not listen

but I want your life to be whole once again and not filled with so much sadness.  Love yourself .

Love @ Peace

Eunice @ 56

View original

A Family Plot

Originally posted on 20 Lines A Day:

 

Ladd Family Cemetary

LADD

 

 

Never knew life

Such a sad day it must have been

 

 

Colored Granite Grave Markers

Ladd Family Final Resting Place

As Halloween is getting closer these places see much destruction.

Old stones knocked over and broken in two.

Who raises children that seem to think this is something fun to do?

These days the dead do not get much time to REST IN PEACE.

I live beside a beautiful old place of rest and much destruction took place

before I moved here.

I watch over the dead.

Who else would?

I think they deserve respect.

Try to raise your children to respect these places.

As the holiday approaches call the police if you see

something going on in one, as you pass by.

 

 

View original

BAD BEAVERS

 

You are looking at what used to be my roadway.  There used to be a bridge that crossed this tiny stream and the area at the end of this road,  had a home on the left.  The bridge lifted up 15 feet,  as the water rose that high. Now I was beginning  to wonder why all this water was filling our yard. I asked a town worker to locate the reason for this continued flooding.  They came back and said they found a huge beaver dam,  on the lot of land where  a friends home had gone under water three times.  They never said they had a damn over there, which cost them their home.

 

Well with three feet of water in my home enough was enough.  I contacted the new land owners and they were adamant I too would lose my home and end up selling it to them for conservation type land  but not really.  They told me the government had given them money to buy homes and lands to help with flooding.  Flooding what flooding this was because the place was over run by nasty large rodents, called BEAVER.  I loaded the gun and waited till they came for some of my trees.  We took a total of 6 Beavers  and then I set about looking for people, neighbors who also abutted this huge dam to see if I could put on waders to pull half of it out to release the water from my yard as well as my home.  Most of his land was under water and he said he would help.  Two days later my beautiful lawn that was now trying to dry out was covered with nasty stuff as well as snakes.

 

Crazy that this was allowed to go on for as long as it did.  All it took was me and my boyfriend and a neighbor and his teenage son to stop the insanity.  This group then went on to place gates on each of these conservation type pieces of land.  Signs, Signs Everywhere a Sign  all over the trees , I thought they were into saving the land and trees, wildlife too!  This has always been  an upland game area.   Deer, Turkey and Ruffed Grouse. NOT BEAVER PONDS.  Why don’t I stop talking for now and let you see what one dam on my tiny stream did.

 

Above is where the bridge lifted  and was taken away

 

 

Right behind where my Lilacs are along side the house right below the bedroom window.

 

 

I am so happy I raised the yard to level it for a garden and pool.  This is where the water is just below us.

 

 

As we let water out of the dam area boy did it start to drop fast.  It was right up against this side of the house.

You have seen my yard,  in  the post Chores Done, so you know there was a lawn there

 

 

Where I am standing taking this photo , it was under 10 feet or more of water in first photo,   see how I take care of a rodent problem.

I worked 16 to 18 hours every day , not just five. I drove a rig for over 2 million miles and was not going to lose my

home to beavers or a group backed by our government,  to buy up homes from people who loved living here along

a pretty little river and stream.  The turkeys love it here as do we.  Something you love is worth fighting for.

 

In this shot she is almost back within her banks, soon the Heron will return to fish.

 

 

 

 

k

 

 

 

Not Eager for Beavers

nutsfortreasure:

My story coming soon, lol

Originally posted on State Wildlife Research News:

Garfield County, Utah has said “no thank you,” to the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources’ offer to transplant nuisance beavers from other parts of the state to the county to help restore high elevation wetlands, the Salt Lake City Tribune reports.

Although, if they had actually said “no thank you,” you probably wouldn’t be reading about this. What they did say was that they were afraid the beavers would become a tool for the environmental community to use against against cattle.

Utah DWR says that they’ll make the offer again another time.

Read the whole story in the Salt Lake City Tribune, and make sure to keep scrolling down past the ad, because there is more text after it.

(Thanks to Mountain West News for literally calling this story out with a quote at the top of their homepage, even though the story was a small one, on the…

View original 3 more words

Border Collies and Horses

Our friends live on top of a Mountain/Hill and they raise reining horses and Border Collies and of course their children as well.

They had a horrible thunder and lightning storm hit their area of VT and lost every animal that was in their  huge barn.  Horses, border collie pups, female horses just getting ready to foal, it was sickening to see the loss and the pain the family went through, being helpless to help the animals when the lightning hit.

We had JT from litter before the one lost and took her up to see her old family and to give them hugs.

Here are the two  horses that were outside and the dogs that were in the house, plus our JT ,  she loves when we go there.

 

 

Our little female has no idea how big this horse is and how quick she can move

She was scaring me.

 

Her brother is even crazier he is always up against these two female horses heels

 

Sad to think of all the horses that used to run here, now just two females, sisters.

 

Tex is the father of all the pups that were born here.

 

 

 

She is watching them

 

 

JT’s brother Tex’s son

 

 

 

Tex respects these giants, he has been chased before.

 

These horses mess with the dogs and their toy balls  as they really are all young and playful.

 

 

 

Thanks for stopping by.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weather

nutsfortreasure:

Feeling the loss of so many

Originally posted on 20 Lines A Day:

The news these days are grim.

The weather reports are in.

Fires still raging, devouring a chunk of one state.

What will be their fate?

Other areas receive too much rain.

Does anyone  else find this insane?

My heart breaks for those  involved.

Now we wait for the reason to be solved.

They say arson played a part.

I for one that hope they have someone in charge that is smart.

For those who lost everything.

I pray they all find the strength to start again, with nothing.

 

 

 

 

View original

2011 is behind us

2011 Winds Down

This past year had  some very special moments but some really trying ones as well.  This really is what life is all about isn’t it?

It reminds me to be thankful, as well as grateful we made it through 2011.

After the winter we had last year we decided to camp along a river for the better part of three months.  Though we got our site(s) late  and had to move to 3 different sites, in doing so we met some wonderful people. One such couple from so far away, will always be missed though we will stay in touch,  it is still not the same as in person.

I got really sick as did our pup.  I am so much better now and down 50 +/- lbs from the end of last year, Thank you WW.  JT was covered with fleas and became so allergic she lost a lot of her fur, and chewed herself so very raw, this with Frontline Plus on monthly, needless to say that is not what she now uses.  All animals should be as loved as our little ones are.

I did not put a garden in this year at home, unless you can count my flowers, but I always had something growing just outside of our RVs door.  I did miss all my goodies and my little hummingbirds but on my 2 days home each week they got fresh sugar-water.  I missed watching my broods of wild turkeys, that call this place home, hatch and did not see them daily till Sept so they did not really get to know us like the years before.

We had some horrible weather come through our area this year as our summer was coming to an end, Irene blew through and took roads, bridges and businesses and homes away.  Today VT is opening one of their roads that they lost back in August, crazy weather in US as well as other parts of this earth.

I lost one of my dearest buddies this October on what would have been my Dad’s birthday.  Now two of the most important men in my life, are gone.   I try to remember the great times I had with both to ease my pain but it just never seems to stop the tears for too long.  I will miss you Dad and Cris forever.  You both taught me many, wonderful things.

I took so many beautiful photos, now to figure out what to do with them. I also had a little story published in a local weatherman’s latest book on New England weather.  I have written three other stories that have gone into a local Treasure Hunting newsletter too.  Did I say I LOVE SPELL CHECK lol.  Sometimes the brain works faster than these old hands of mine.

A very special little boy made an appearance on Thanksgiving day, really much too soon, just 925 oz,  little William Avi, latest update: he was  3 lbs for Christmas.  Can hardly wait till he can go home with his Mom and Dad.

I added some of my pieces of jewelry into a local place here Diddles and Doodads and it is run by a very wonderful lady, please stop in to meet her and see all the beautiful items she has on display, in her beautiful home.

I know we can not really  know what tomorrow will bring, never mind next year, but all I want is PEACE.  Seems simple enough to me, lol

Please drive safely this weekend, you are IMPORTANT.

See you all next year

inesepogagallery

NATURE ART, DRAWING AND PAINTING

Colline's Blog

A potpourri of thoughts and experiences

Avian101

"My Backyard Visitors" - All about birds - The world is my backyard!

PI Photography and Fine Art

Find the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Mix 104.1

Boston's Best Variety

Optimystical

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. ~ Rumi

composerinthegarden

The intersection of music and the garden as parallel creative art forms

NH Fish and Game Radio Diner

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Time To Be Inspired

Indulge in Creativity

trikatykid & the dog

swim | bike | run | adventure | quilt | write

Life Is a Damn Circus

...And We Are The Circus Acts

Infinitefreetime.com

The blog of Luther M. Siler, Teacher/ Word-maker-dude/ Wanker for hire

Moondustwriter's Blog

penned with moon dust

antryump

"In search of truth "

O' Canada

Reflections on Canadian Culture From Below the Border

mamacravings

everything a mama could want

Garden of Eve

Growing my own, from garden to table.

mejfote

life fashion & more

MARVA SEATON BLOG

Lifestyle, Social Media, News and Features

Learning to snap

Learning photography in New Zealand

Uncle Tree's House

Putting music to words, and words to pictures ~

Flowery Prose

Growing words....

Martha Keim-St. Louis' blog

watercolor and things that fall out of my fingers, art, watercolor, words

Frank Martyn

Inken Thought

The Karen Gibson Roc Blog

ALL THINGS POETIC

Play. Draw . Inspire...❤

" I am not called Death Prophet for nothing "

Miss Lou Acquiring Lore

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Juju Films

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David Kanigan

eljaygee

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food & foto

with audrey michelle

Beyond the Scribbles

The Sharpie Interns' Blog

Beady-Eyed Beth

Where I share my works in progress and news.

dibeads.com

Beads, Jewelry and Craft Supplies

Freshly Pressed: Editors' Picks

Just another Wordpress.com weblog

Streaming Thought: Polymer Clay Expressions

Just another WordPress.com site

Carole's Writing Blog

My journey........

Red Sox Weekly

A companion blog to my cable access program called Red Sox Weekly

Inn Dahlonega

The blog of Cedar House Inn & Yurts in Dahlonega, Georgia

Beads and Honey

the sweet life of beads and gems

CraftFail

Where Crafters Go to Fail

ILLUSTRATING MY LIFE

created by Judy Unger

Communication Creations

Freelance Writing and Editing Services

Michele D'Acosta

Museum of Documentary and Fiction

inesepogagallery

NATURE ART, DRAWING AND PAINTING

Colline's Blog

A potpourri of thoughts and experiences

Avian101

"My Backyard Visitors" - All about birds - The world is my backyard!

PI Photography and Fine Art

Find the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Mix 104.1

Boston's Best Variety

Optimystical

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. ~ Rumi

composerinthegarden

The intersection of music and the garden as parallel creative art forms

NH Fish and Game Radio Diner

Connecting you to life outdoors

Time To Be Inspired

Indulge in Creativity

trikatykid & the dog

swim | bike | run | adventure | quilt | write

Life Is a Damn Circus

...And We Are The Circus Acts

Infinitefreetime.com

The blog of Luther M. Siler, Teacher/ Word-maker-dude/ Wanker for hire

Moondustwriter's Blog

penned with moon dust

antryump

"In search of truth "

O' Canada

Reflections on Canadian Culture From Below the Border

mamacravings

everything a mama could want

Garden of Eve

Growing my own, from garden to table.

mejfote

life fashion & more

MARVA SEATON BLOG

Lifestyle, Social Media, News and Features

Learning to snap

Learning photography in New Zealand

Uncle Tree's House

Putting music to words, and words to pictures ~

Flowery Prose

Growing words....

Martha Keim-St. Louis' blog

watercolor and things that fall out of my fingers, art, watercolor, words

Frank Martyn

Inken Thought

The Karen Gibson Roc Blog

ALL THINGS POETIC

Play. Draw . Inspire...❤

" I am not called Death Prophet for nothing "

Miss Lou Acquiring Lore

Gallery of Life...

Juju Films

Cutting edge Multimedia Programming

Live & Learn

David Kanigan

eljaygee

just another fauxtography blog

food & foto

with audrey michelle

Beyond the Scribbles

The Sharpie Interns' Blog

Beady-Eyed Beth

Where I share my works in progress and news.

dibeads.com

Beads, Jewelry and Craft Supplies

Freshly Pressed: Editors' Picks

Just another Wordpress.com weblog

Streaming Thought: Polymer Clay Expressions

Just another WordPress.com site

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