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Daily Prompt: The Road Less Traveled/Had I Kept Him

It was 1976 and I was given money for an abortion. I chose adoption.
Had I kept my child how my life would have been so much better but clearly so different.
Had I kept him with me as I had really wanted,  I would have smiled every day.
I never would have shed tears for 32 years.   I never would have married the evil man I did.   I never would live  where I do now.  I never would have learned all the things in life I needed to learn,  about people and how they really are.

It would have been hard yes. I would have been an awesome Mommy to him.  See I was not that strong back then I had no idea that giving him to a family who would adore him showed really how strong I was.  I just never thought I could do it on my own and give him everything a child deserved.

So had I taken that road I would have done great.  I never would have known you all and be able to share him all with you.  Thirty two years after kissing him goodbye I was saying hello to him and starting a different journey,  in fact down yet another road.  Who knows where this one will take us but he is just like me so I think it will be FUN.

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17 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: The Road Less Traveled/Had I Kept Him”

  1. Eunice its so hard to make a decision like you had to. My mother had the same decision to make and had my brother adopted and I didn’t know about him. But it turned out o.k. because we found each other and still keep in touch now. You see our father was a no good man also. My brother was happy though with his adopted parents. Fate has its turn Eunice. You have coped exceedingly well and I take my hat off to you.

    1. HUGS to you for KNOWING it was hard but I did it for him which is why I see myself with this blessed life now and it is safe with ex gone for him to come see me. I will never replace them but I don’t want to 🙂 I like what he and I have respect and love it is all we will ever need in life. I am so happy you and your brother connected it is good to have someone who is family even if you were not raised that way. Thanks again just not hiding it anymore has helped immensely
      🙂

  2. You never know how things would have gone. You can imagine, hope, believe … but you do not know. What we know is what did happen. What we have is what IS. It’s a weird type of self torture to try to second guess the past, what would have been had only I done whatever it was I didn’t do. But maybe something entirely different would have happened. Maybe better? Or worse? Or — just different.

    You don’t know. None of us ever knows. Let’s all forgive ourselves for what we think were our wrong choices because just maybe they weren’t wrong. Maybe they were right. For us. At that time, in that place.

  3. It was a hard decision I’m sure, but even the smallest decisions can completely change our lives. I’m so glad you have found your son and made peace with yourself Eunice. All the best! Hugs.

    1. Thanks I have come a long log way and if I could leave one part out it would be all that sadness but there was a point to all the madness for I am here and very happy Thanks so much.

    1. Funny when you are in the middle of all those decision you quite see that part of you 😦 I know know without a doubt I did the right thing for that moment in time would never forgive myself had I messed him up 🙂 Thanks for your kind words and support 🙂

  4. The best thing is you and your son are moving forward together on another life journey. There is the joy ahead to look forward to. Kudos for your brave decision Eunice. You did what you had to do.

    1. Thanks so much It really was the one road had I chosen another path so many things would be different but not all in a good way 🙂 I think I did good I am here to enjoy the rest of my life.

  5. I’m always telling Clive, my husband, that he can’t lead parallel lives.”If only” he says, and I say: “But how would you have solved or reconciled that difficulty, then?” And he doesn’t have an answer. When I’m agonising for my part, he says to me: “You did the best you could with the information you had at the time,” and I can accept that. So there you are. The wisdom of one married couple! I’m thinking of you as I write my post for today.

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