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Daily Prompt: Que Sera Sera/It must be fate.

Daily Prompt: Que Sera Sera

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Do you believe in fate or do you believe you can control your own destiny?

 

 

I always thought I was in charge of who  I would become or where life would take me but in the end,  as those who have followed me from the start know,  in my case,   it was to be.

Yes life was fun and I had a blast then it was hard so very hard but I made it.

I ran from evil and got strong enough to be blessed with a life that was in the cards for me.

I am so happy  with what fate had in store for me ūüôā though everyone would be better off with less pain in their lives I think. 

Hope you are like me and find yourself just where you are meant to be.  We all deserve to BE HAPPY!
 

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So much happens day to day doesn’t it

We have had a few days where it got warm,  well warm after what we have dealt with.  Then we had ice and I mean horrible stuff! We would chop and chop when the sun warmed it and then while we rested each evening,  it would freeze up all over again.

I know before long it will be just and ugly memory.   Soon we will  be seeing  joy spread across our country and gardens bloom once again.  It will fill us with hope and warmth,  which is where I am at today.

Some of you who¬† follow me on Facebook know the story,¬† as do most who have read my stories from long ago.¬† You know I got hurt bad but I survived.¬† I have loved and lost only to love again.¬† It really is just basic life isn’t it. Ups and downs,¬† give and take.

 

  Well the electric bill is so high and 100 gal. of propane cost over $440 and lasts but 3 weeks if we are lucky.  We live on a fixed income, as we are both retired and the checks we get each month are divided up for all of our bills.  Sometimes we can do something fun and other times we find fun close to home. We are better off than many but still poor when it comes to income brought in, so when they refused to bring me more propane on Friday or even to let me order another 100 gal.because we had a $160.00 balance and no income till 8 days later I had to ask the town for help and then I had to do what I tried not to do. I had to ask for fuel assistance.

Now if you know me you know that  it angers me to have to request help.  I am hit by someone doing something wrong and left unable to make the income I used to depend on and they go about their business,  still driving a bus and making good money.  I guess I go from angry to sad but on this day something changed.  I mentioned to the woman taking our application for help that maybe when I hit 60 I could get the Social Security I worked so hard for, as I was the surviving spouse. She looked at me and asked if they said those exact words to me and I answered yes.  She asked me to go home and call the government office as she believed it meant my ex-husband  had died and I was entitled to it now.  Well I did and they confirmed he had indeed passed away and I would now get his check if it was more than mine.  So I made an appointment  for after my birthday and in between surgeries to bring in my marriage certificate into them so they had proof we were married the required amount of years.  Now remember I drove a rig over three million miles and worked hard and missed out  on so many things others enjoyed,  because I LOVED trucking.  So once I go in with this certificate,  I will find out if I can come off State aid and really that is all I am praying for.  I want to be independent again.

While going through paperwork looking for a piece of paper I thought I had thrown away in 1995 I came across so many documents I would no longer need. So out came the paper shredder and I began to rid myself of all that really no longer mattered.  With each piece that got fed through the blades, the weight of it all was not only freeing but sad.  I guess after having a restraining order for over 15 years on him and holding on to all of our records just in case I would need them was 14 years too long.  I made a dent in the massive boxes of trucking paperwork we had amassed in our 15 years of marriage.  The first load was placed into the compost bin where it will sit and be covered by kitchen scraps and breakdown into something good.  It will become beautiful rich soil, for new life to grow  in.  I could not think of a better way to deal with all of this.

So with all of this on my plate I will wander in and out of my blog adding a new one here or there as time allows for and a few interesting blogs from those I follow.  I will do more of this purging and cleaning and letting go and spend my days feeling free from worry.  I will smile more I am sure.  I am sad he destroyed so much and in the end himself but I will pray for him to finally be able to rest in peace, as it is what I wish for each and every troubled soul.

I will continue to read your blogs in my readers,  WP and Feedly and try to keep up,  as I love you all and what you do is important.  You keep it real, you show us pretty places and you write so eloquently. I love the poetry and the stories you tell and I will forever be thankful for the kindness you have shown me.  I am not going anywhere just trying to get my act and home in order so I can have the procedures done and put my feet up in the sun with all of you and enjoy what life has in store.

Talk again soon

 

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¬Ľ Daily Prompt: No Longer a Mere Mortal/My Life

I love this potion!
Now I can rest,  no longer having to race around to see and do it all.
I am tired from trying to take it all in.
What a beautiful life I can now have,  sitting back and enjoying all of what life has to offer.
No more wondering how many days I will have left to smile and capture that perfect moment with my camera.
 My  only wish is that there would be enough to share with those I love,  so they could sit beside me forever and soak in all this beauty that surrounds us if only we open our eyes to see.

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the story continued…..from 20 Lines A Day

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As he searched for treasure in and around the boulders and gravel I found GOLD in a

friendship with Marie.

There may have been 3 vehicles parked in the shade along this stretch of route 112

but the woman in both made their way over to say hello and to say h to JT.

This part of the story will focus on Marie.  She said she was from MA in an area I used to go to once a

day, in my Big Rig.

I was siting in a chair throwing sticks or a frisbee to JT and told her about my back and she said she

knew my pain.

In fact today was the first time she had left the home with her husband for fun in 8 years.  She had been

hurt in an accident at work, boy could we relate.

We talked and talked and tears flowed from both of us.

We knew each others pain.

She saw me as strong . It was not till we spoke she knew I too, had been broken.

She has to go through exactly what I had gone through for 10 years.  Marie was  now

into her 8th  year of hell.   I told her to hang on it would soon be over.

It is what they do to hard workers who get hurt and go after them for damages.

They want us to give up and God knows I came close more than once.

She has to fight for disability.  I told her how.  I asked her to please just not to give up.

After hugging her and telling her it would be OK my mate saw us crying and said

“Do you know each other?” he was smiling as this happens so much he is used to it.

Marie told him I was so special and he smiled again and said he knew.  He also told her

this happens to me a lot now that  I have started to really LIVE my life again.  I am glad

it is with him.

So I let Marie know how to reach me.  I do not know if she will  but one thing I am sure of

is the fact she left that river’s edge a little stronger inside.¬† She needed to meet someone who had gone

through the pain and depression and had come out the other side.  Yes battered and bruised but no

longer busted and broken.   I refused the drugs finally and am finally Living and Lovin (the name of my

BLOG,lol)

For all of you fighting the fight please do fight for your life.  It is worth it.

Peace & Love