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Daily Post: Release Me/Life

Looking backing over my time here on WordPress it is clearly been a journey.
I have laughed and cried. I have shared ugly pictures and ones a little better. I have grown in ways I never thought possible.  Who knew sitting down at the computer and choosing a name for my blog,  would be the start to such a change in who I would become.  At first hesitant till I learned my way around. Then meeting people from all walks of life who shared their world.  Some take pretty photos that helped inspire me to shoot better each day. Some wrote poetry and invited me to join them though I floundered sadly there but I did make attempts, pushing myself out of my comfort zone.  Others shared their lives. The day-to-day goings on. Farming, cooking, travel some I knew a little bit about others opened my eyes  through their words or photos.

So back to the point of this challenge, Release Me. and it would have to be this post
Sharing the story of my decision  so long ago.

https://nutsfortreasure.wordpress.com/2013/02/18/the-day-has-come-to-share-a-little-more/

I am glad I wrote it and even more so for living it.  I am blessed for all I had and have and just over a month after that post I was clearly on my way to heal and let go at the retreat he had suggested.

So opening up and sharing this blog with the ones who would ultimately  decide in their own minds if I was awful or kind  was very hard but on the other hand I  always knew in my heart I made the decision for him and I could handle anything,  like sharing it with you.

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Daily Prompt: We Can Be Taught!/To Love One’s Self And All Others

What makes a teacher great? Photographers, artists, poets: show us GREATNESS.

What makes any teacher great is their ability to reach deep within one’s self and want to know all about it.  They will keep you on the edge of your seat.  They will hold your attention no matter the scene of beauty,  just outside the classrooms window.

I wish I had had those kind of teachers but sadly there was just one. 

As I have gone through this life of mine I have learned many lessons all on my own some very hard and some so wonderful.  I wish I had known  all that I know now but teaching comes not only from the ones paid to do so but by the paths you take along the way.

I am a teacher of sorts these days.  Reminding others to LOVE themselves first and to pass this love along be it in words or pretty photos,  of our gorgeous world,  that sadly seems to not have enough teachers to get the message across.

 Love one’s self and all others.

 

Peace and Love to each of you

 

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Weekly Writing Challenge: Fit to Write/ Going away to be whole again

Been sad and hurt for too long.

Was told by a child I had placed for adoption,  to go away,  as he had done to find peace and love within again.

I had never meditated before and yes I was worried but I also knew deep inside something had to change.

It was time for me to finally be whole.  So I booked by 10 day stay and in the following months while I waited for my day to

come to take the first step,  there were so many days I thought I would cancel but I did not.

I went away from home for the first time all alone.

I took an oath of silence.

I learned how to meditate.

I learned that I was really strong not broken as I had thought.

Over those ten days away I meditated in silence,  for 100 hours.  Yes it was hard.  Was it worth it,  hell yes. A million times YES.

 

This trip into the unknown world of Meditation was scary but amazing as well.

I will never be lost again.

I will go within and see all is well.

Life can be so very hard and so many could use this outlet to find peace and happiness.

My son and I agree after having both learned to go within,  that so many could benefit from learning how to meditate

starting with small children.  When I went to school in 1963 there was a time each day we laid our heads on our desk to take

a rest from the stress of learning,  had we been taught the simple act of Meditation in the first grade maybe just maybe

we would could have had a world full of PEACE or a lot less pain.

Namate

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So Busy Doing Nothing At All

Do you have times in your life where you seem to be very busy but are really doing nothing at all.

How did my life get so simple?

I used to blog everyday.

I made Jewelry every week.

I walked the beaches all winter long and early summer mornings and captured the Sunrises along the Atlantic.

I went away in March and came back profoundly changed and at peace. So much so I don’t do much of anything really.

Yes I wake after 4 or 5 hours of sleep and have two cups of coffee, fresh ground. I eat a simple good for me breakfast as I answer emails play a game of words on Facebook all the while tossing a toy to JT. Then I wash up the few dishes sweep the floors and make the bed. I shower and get dressed and grab my camera JT grabs her Frisbee and off we go to walk the property. Playing catch and snapping photos. Not much plant wise happening here. so much rain, nutrient’s washed away and plants are stalled. I have yet to have the Monarchs show up good thing end of July and Butterfly Bush has yet to open as a way to welcome them here.

My food garden is sad. I have had two cucumbers, one tomato lots of basil and some lettuce. Tonight I snipped Dill for our Tuna fish sandwiches.
Corn is only just over my knee and I am short.

All those pretty shots you saw the last year have either rotted or refused to bloom so I have been busy with Dragonflies. They have been so willing too. I have them all on My Portfolio blog and re-blogged to 20 Lines or Living and Lovin. I am sure I will lose the bloggers I have on my list of followers but truly what should I write about. I have changed so much I hardly even know me.

I joined a Gym can you imagine. I am also in PT for left shoulder. I am still going to Weight Watchers though I do want to quit as I think I can save the $40 a week and do it on my own but then I think I need to get out of the house as winter will soon be arriving and all that damn shoveling once again so I need to be healthy.

With Meditation I have learned to relax but sadly I LIKE that A LOT!!!

So I will try to add some color and interest to this unexciting post the best I can.

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This is one of the Garden Club Lilies in Bloom with a pretty insect .  That’s right when it is not raining I spend an hour with a water can watering all the clubs plants.

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After I pick fresh berries with the pup and her toy and my camera I make a plate with Greek Yogurt and delish berries.
Yes my kitchen had red counters hard to bounce the flash properly when hungry and tired and no tripod set up.

 

 

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He kept telling me to come get photos of the last clutch for the year, her third.  He then found a baby dead on the stairs below this nest.  Lousy photo as I did not want another to be lost and the next day the nest day was empty.

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As he worked in the back yard all spring and summer he got to watch them grow then fly away and she sat on more.  This is right over the entrance into the beautiful barn I have  in the back yard.  As someone would approach the Mom would bolt to the trees beside the barn and then he would make sure he always closed the door so she did not fly in and die inside while her little ones went without and would die as well.  He is learning to live as one with nature here for which I am very happy.

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Black-eyed Susan just before opening.

 

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Yes above is Dill I have begun to mess with my shots out of boredom 🙂

 

More later.  Tomorrow rain maybe I will play with my Polymer since the floors are clean, dishes done and I will not be WEEDING

Have a great night everyone

I need some SUNSHINE waiting on Sat.

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100 Hours in 10 Days

Well most of you know I went away, by myself,  on a journey.  Some may know the world of meditation sadly I was not one of them but maybe that was in the end  just what I needed to see for myself here at the Vispanna Meditation Center out on the Mohawk Trail,  in Western Massachusetts.

I was all packed on Monday for the trip I would start out on two weeks ago on a Wednesday afternoon.  The three of us drove together and when I arrived I was scared and in tears as I did not want to leave my family.  I figured it out I had not gone away by myself since I was on a scouting trip back when I was 16 or 17.  Having just had a birthday it is easy to figure out that was 40/41  years ago.   Wow as I write it down it somehow seems crazy but true.

I kissed them goodbye and told him to drive home safely.

As I stepped through the doors of the beautiful facility I was welcomed warmly.  I filled out a short form and went to talk with some others who had also arrived.  Some had been there before others were scared as I was.  When it is unknown we can find ways to worry can’t we.   We came from all walks of life as well as other countries.  We all had the same mission though to find peace within.

I went to my room with an  “Old Student” server and then I unpacked and made my bed with the sheets and blanket I was asked to bring from home.  The room was gorgeous.  The view I looked out upon was a pretty garden area  with small patches of snow here and there not the 3 and 4 foot snowbanks at home.

We were going to be served tea and a light meal of fruit and then meet in the Meditation Hall.  I had requested a chair for my back and knee and it and a floor cushion awaited me just inside,  along the wall.  There had to be 200+ men and woman who came to this room.  We were kept apart by just a row with no cushions.  The Men had a teacher and we had ours.  They would be the only ones we could speak to except for our assistant teacher when something important came up, remember this was a Silent Retreat.  We then heard a message from the man behind this all.  This type of meditation came through Buddha but so many different sects have branched off from this truer practice.

It was time for bed and I was once again all alone and missing home but wanting to be happy again, even more.

The days were laid out on a board over by the dining hall you always had a reminder of where you were supposed to be and what you should be doing  eating, sleeping or meditating.  A pretty bell would be rung at 4 AM to gently wake you then again 15 min. later a little louder to have you in the hall from 4:30  AM.     You could choose to stay in your room but the quiet of this huge hall in the early morning hours for me was so moving only when the distractions of coughing mediators got too loud for me did I decide to stay in my room and practice my lessons.

Breakfast at 6:30 AM  back in hall by 8:00 AM then lunch at 11:00 PM back to meditating 12:30 PM till 4 when tea was served with fruit oranges, apples and bananas.  We had 2% milk or soy choices as we were now eating pretty much a Vegetarian Diet.  After the night tea and fruit if you chose to eat it I think I may have had some 5 out of the 11 days there.  After the tea time we headed back into the beautiful hall and except for breaks we would be there till around 9:00 PM then head to our rooms for much need rest who knew how hard it would be to focus your thoughts not me but I can tell you each night I was drained.

The first four days I was at the center and sitting took a huge toll on my wrecked neck from the wreck I had been in and I never gave the neck a thought as my world had  gone ergonomic .  They did everything they could to make me comfortable so I could complete my course and for this I can not thank  them enough.

Day 4 was Easter and I was wanting home badly.  As I left my room and walked to the dining area I was met with an amazing sunrise yes many miles from the area I frequent and up in the woods but there it was. Purple and Pink filled the early morning view and I felt loved.  I ate what was offered had some tea and took a walk outside in the crisp morning air.

I took my Dad’s old coat as I headed for the hall with hopes of rolling it up to better support the neck and having lost Dad 9 years ago it made me feel his strength as it was a big part of who I really was.   I got situated and set about listening to my first true lesson in Vispanna Meditation.  I will never forget Easter Sunday 2013 what an amazing day!  I had such a peace engulf me while others panicked.  I guess I saw it as a true lesson and we would all have the same outcome for all the work we had put in but that is not how life seems to really work.

I will not share the whole course here as for those who want to experience it for themselves they should with no prejudgment from my experience.

Should you be in a place in life and wanting to feel alive and have a set of tools to deal with the reality of our world better go here to read about their mission, find centers and read the Code of Ethics.

Thank you to each and every one of you who had me in their prayers and thoughts I felt strength each time I was sure I would fail.  You are THE BEST FOLLOWERS!

Peace and Love to each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart which is now filled with so much love for who I am.

www.dhamma.org

If you decide to go get ahold of me and I will give you a list of other essentials you would be better off bringing I hope to give back by serving a group such as I was a part of we were amazing so strong and such a gift to have it just over 2 hours from me.

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Another Storm Brewing

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I took this photo yesterday along the river but facing out to sea.  It was beautiful over here, less wind then when JT and I tried to join her daddy on the ocean side, man was it cold and a very brisk wind.  Cold we can take but that constant wind is not good and I am bundled up, well  all but my weather-beaten face and to protect her from the harsh elements I have gone through my whole life,  we walked over here to take shelter from the storm that was brewing.

What a deceiving day.  It was so pretty to look at.  Made me what to shower and get dressed and head out with him.  I was down another two pounds on Tuesday weigh-in so I wanted to keep up the hard work.  Funny you see something working even if it causes pain I am the type that has always been tough and just pushed through it.  I am not saying it is smart , just saying more about who I am.

I have one month left before I leave and want to take in all my world has to offer.  I want to walk and spend time with them.  I will miss the three of them,  who share this home with me.  My son said he missed his pup but knowing she was with friends allowed him to take on the challenge himself so I will let go and trust.  JT loves me as much as Mike’s dog adores him but Mike does spend time during the day without his girl and JT is always beside me lol I am her person.  She watches over me and protects me even when I am not in danger so maybe after she gets over missing me for first few days she will become a dog again.   Something tells me we will be like that commercial that runs here,  of the lady coming back from war with her huge dog greeting her on the ground covering her with kisses, will also be played out here,  hell being on the floor meditating for 10 days 14 hours a day will have the ground being normal for me.  Wish me luck!  lol

 

OK back to the REAL STORM BREWING this morning I woke to a weather report saying maybe we would miss a big snowstorm Thank You for listening to my prayers this time now they say just three to four inches but wet snow this time.  JT loves catching snowballs she will be so happy.  Now I will show you a few photos from the river as the sea.  They are not my best and I am sorry I was freezing and will blame them on the wind!

Now look at the next pictures don’t them make it seem like it is just a beautiful day to SUNTAN

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Not a care in the world.

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A Loner lol no room for anyone else on this ones beach.

 

OK want to see some more again sorry shaking too much for really pretty ones but I am sure you will love them.

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Now the mighty Atlantic Ocean was really churning and so frothy.  The storm was still a twelve-hour ride away down in Virginia.   So I really thought we would be getting another NEMO like storm.  Looks can be deceiving right beautiful blue sky pretty colorful sea. BRRRRRRR

 

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Wind blown JT waits for me to throw a hefty stick to her.  No FRISBEE in these winds.

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Well you can see she is tiring of me and my photos time to go for a walk

 

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Have a nice weekend