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So Much To Be Thankful For

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First of all to my regular followers our mom has finally found eternal peace.
She passed away with me early Friday afternoon.  We will say our final goodbyes on Tuesday and Wed. surrounded by friends and family and on Thursday we will once again
give thanks for all we have.

I wanted to wish those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving, a table filled with your favorites and you surrounded by your loved ones.  As we age the numbers seem to go down so make this time special, in any way you can.

Happy Thanksgiving

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Happy Mother’s Day

I know I am a day early but it has been crazy in my world as of late.

My Mom suffered for 8 moths with a horrid back pain and finally on the same day I had my shoulder surgery she got a much-needed injection.  Mine was a success as was hers!

Problem is when we, who are independent and having spent so much time in pain,  finally feel relief , WATCH OUT!!!!   Yes she could not believe she could stand up and walk without a cane or walker and I was in so much less pain I had a yard to ready for the impending spring weather.  So she did something she shouldn’t have,  like yanking a plastic wheel barrel and doing some raking and I helped build a concrete wall with my sweetie taking turns to mix cement now that may have not been so bright but it was a good workout!  I also went around with the help of JT and picked up all branches that had fallen this winter and piled them up yes a HUGE PILE!  I then gathered all the clippings from garden club plants now filling my food garden area and readied them for a fire as well.  Yes I have been working hard not only in the yard but at PT as well I finally get to see the surgeon on Monday morning.

Back to my Mom she tweaked her back and then rested but after I left she showered and went to get into bed with her aching back and swollen knee(HUGE KNEE-torn meniscus they now say) and  as she attempted to slide into bed with protecting her bum knee she ripped her whole muscle off her Tibia and the hip socket area she says she wants to die.  The pain is that bad all as she lies in a rehab hospital in Boston I spend most of my days in tears and praying for her to recover though she insists she wants to join my Dad.  I fail when it comes to giving her the will to live.  I told her growing old is not for sissies.  Pain no matter what age sucks we all know that and I feel helpless.

So I have spent the recent days looking up into the heavens for answers as well as capturing its beauty.

Sorry I pop in only once a week for the most part but I do use 2 readers and go through a list you are all on and if you show up on that days section I LIKE you 🙂

I will travel to see Mom for a little while on Mother’s Day you what will you do to celebrate the day?

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I also sit with my large container of water a few brushes and paint and try to relax from all this worry.

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as I watch cement and paint dry my wish will always be for PEACE be it worldwide or of mind.

 

Take care of yourselves if you are young and be extra careful if you have had lots of birthdays like me

 

🙂

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Daily Post: Release Me/Life

Looking backing over my time here on WordPress it is clearly been a journey.
I have laughed and cried. I have shared ugly pictures and ones a little better. I have grown in ways I never thought possible.  Who knew sitting down at the computer and choosing a name for my blog,  would be the start to such a change in who I would become.  At first hesitant till I learned my way around. Then meeting people from all walks of life who shared their world.  Some take pretty photos that helped inspire me to shoot better each day. Some wrote poetry and invited me to join them though I floundered sadly there but I did make attempts, pushing myself out of my comfort zone.  Others shared their lives. The day-to-day goings on. Farming, cooking, travel some I knew a little bit about others opened my eyes  through their words or photos.

So back to the point of this challenge, Release Me. and it would have to be this post
Sharing the story of my decision  so long ago.

https://nutsfortreasure.wordpress.com/2013/02/18/the-day-has-come-to-share-a-little-more/

I am glad I wrote it and even more so for living it.  I am blessed for all I had and have and just over a month after that post I was clearly on my way to heal and let go at the retreat he had suggested.

So opening up and sharing this blog with the ones who would ultimately  decide in their own minds if I was awful or kind  was very hard but on the other hand I  always knew in my heart I made the decision for him and I could handle anything,  like sharing it with you.

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While Reading Your Blogs

 

While reading your blogs I realized how much I missed mine. Each day I want to write and share but usually nothing comes. Since April it has been very hard. Seems before it was easy to express myself and now being cleared of all the CLUTTER within me leaves me wondering if I really have much to say.
I am so happy poor but very, very happy. I am at peace and seems I had posts so full of sadness and despair oh yes Joy as well if you looked deeper within it was there but really I was just not whole.

I still see things others will never get and it is OK maybe they are not meant to.

Ok on with today’s RARE BLOG really from me NOT A RE-BLOG he he READY?

So I have not seen much of my Mom since my return from retreat and she has not ben well so I made it a point when I got my check this month to take the $30 in gas right out and go spend sometime with her after I was done with Shoulder PT appointment. Ron and JT came with me as even she is feeling more like herself never will something from China be consumed in my home by ANY OF US!

So I get to Mom’s and she is doubled over unable to stand up straight I tell her to use the cane more to hold herself up though her hands are bad and I understand why she doesn’t. She has had RA for 40 years or better been crippled then better now her spine is worsening as she has lost so much of her height. She now has 2 cracked or broken vertebrae she will never tell me as too many years I was broken so she tries to toughen it out. She actually said she was ready to go. What the hell does that mean? Ready to go she is healthy as an ox except for the pain and she refuses anything but Tylenol and we all know the dangers of that drug.

So I had gone down with the full intent to scrub floors, clean refrigerator, scrub the stove things you ought to stand to do and need to do for more than a minute. I went around the property of this home I grew up in and admired all the flowers she grew. She had some beauties. I went out to the front yard and saw a section of the garden beds I had done so much work on my whole adult life now looking so pitiful. I asked what she wanted to do about it as she insists she loves her home and doesn’t want to sell and move in with one of us or her own apartment with little she would have to do but care for herself. She says “I can’t do it anymore”. I have known this for a long time hell I can not do what I used to and I am 20 years younger. So I get her garden cart, shovel, rake and a bucket with soil and proceed to dig every last Iris and Lily mixed in with weeds and grass out of the front bed. I took each one and trimmed back the green growth and cleaned the roots and set them aside. I worked for 2 hours on them alone I did that sitting on the same front stairs as I had when I was a little girl all the while watching Mom insisting on sitting outside with me and JT she sat in a plastic lawn chair. Same kind I did my retreat in not that comfortable.

After I had them done I moved on to trim a bush them I really trimmed it pretty much till it was just above the soil as there was so much dead branches soon she would lose them anyway. As I worked on my feet she tried to play a little with JT. It was warm so the dog did not mind resting a lot.

I got to this beautiful bush and knew if it was up to me to add a fresh coat of paint to the front of this house I could not have shrubbery against it so again I began a hard prune taking out many dead branches. Well This is usually covered in bees and yes it was a beauty but so out of control. I came across something that saddened me. Seems our world is so full of filth and debris and so many slobs our little birds have learned to cope the best they can. See?

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So much plastic trash was a part of this poor Mother Bird’s nest

 

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I swear it looked as if it were a home in the projects it made me very sad.

 

 

Now wait till you see what her front yard looks like now.

 

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We had not seen that last window for years she will have to pull the blinds down now till she decides if she wants to let it grow back  or if we can make this place pretty with something easy to care for.  I am not getting any younger either and with injuries even worse.  Ron is in no better health he has lost so much weight and muscle and he is diabetic to boot.

 

All was not worrisome at Mom’s some  of the day was delightful which is how I will end this post UPBEAT! 🙂

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Mom painted this rock years ago and we thought the bees thought her artwork was real but then a guy I went to school with thought maybe they were just wanting to grab hold so they could get a drink.  I told her to place a shallow dish with rock in it so birds could have their baths again 🙂

 

Remember she loves flowers like me so here are a few I took after I did all the work so they are not that good but still pretty

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Thanks for coming to Mom’s with me.

 

She would love all of you.  Each one is so very special to me XO

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Daily Prompt: The Natural World/Our Backyard

It was 1963 and I was seven.  We had moved to the suburbs from the city as so many did but I was just a little over four then.

I swear I can remember walking down the street we would be moving to and looking at the few homes that were already up for buyers to pick from.

We went up to the house on the hill and it had a HUGE  frog inside we wanted THAT HOUSE,  me and my little brother.

Mom and Dad decided up by the busy road was not the house for us so we were going to live in the first house as you started down the dead-end road.  It was a dirt road still with 4 homes ready for families and we got number ONE!

The woods  behind the house were off-limits to a 4-year-old and a two-year old and Mom was going to have number 3 soon,  so she could not run after us.

I guess  I was about seven when I first ventured into those woods,  behind our family home,.  There  a stream that ran alongside our property out in the forest. Mom took us three out to pick wild Blueberries.  High bush type so she picked the most and we carried the containers.  It was so beautiful out back  I never wanted to go back to the house.

Mom still lives in that home and when we  lost Dad eight years ago to Cancer,  I found out that when he was not there I didn’t want to be either,  just wasn’t the same but I did go back because Mom is there and I once again stepped back into those woods  and began to cut back the growth on the other side of her  fenced property. See they had fenced it off to keep us in.  Scary things can happen to children in the woods all alone,  though somehow we never quite believed them.  Boy that huge forest I remember so fondly as a little girl is really just a silly half-acre but it used to be HUGE!

I remember  a day so long ago ,  running back to the house with an armful of Lady Slippers for Mom,  oh how I loved these blooms that loved the dark,   damp  wooded areas.  She saw how pretty they were but insisted I should NEVER pick them again as I would be ARRESTED!  They had a law for that,  can you imagine being so young and loving the woods as I did and being told to be good.  My poor Mom had her hands full!

So yes I love the country as it is truly a part of me.  I never pick the flowers instead I  grow so many in my yard as I can  and capture all the wild ones  with a camera.

I never wear shoes from spring to fall  ( well unless I leave the yard) just like when I was seven boy did that make Mom mad,  she said it made her look like a BAD MOM.. I say it  made her look like a Mom who loved to see her kids happy and free to experience all the wonders of the world,  well until I stepped on that bee!

So my home here in New England has a stream for one side of my property line too  and tons of deep woods( over a couple hundred acres)  with many wildflowers and insects , wildlife too.

The city is Grand don’t get me wrong. I spent 27 years driving a big rig through each of our nations cities. Eighty feet long and at times longer and did it like it was second nature to me but come the end of a trip or the end of a sixteen hour day it was back to the woods for me,  as I have always adored nature it seems,  well for the last 50 years to be certain.

Here is my piece of the forest , well this year maybe closer to a JUNGLE with all this rain

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I have seen signs of SPRING

I have seen signs of spring but mostly they have been in the blogs I follow and finally caught up with today.

It has been a busy week.

I turned another year older and 10 years wiser.

I had all my long hair cut off, before going to see my Mom for the meal she prepared,  in celebration of my birthday .

It was time,  it had gotten long and dried out with all the high lightening over the years and it was just not me any longer.  I needed a wash and go look not the wash and clip up look I had been rocking for over a year and a half, even my hairdresser  who lost her business to a fire, had found a place to work so that was not my excuse.  I had no excuse except being lazy and holding on to hair that no longer did a thing for me,  I guess you could say a RUT, a really deep one.

So knowing I would be heading south to spend the day with Mom and stylist having just gone back into her shop all shiny and new,  I asked if she had an opening early and she did,  she made it for me by starting work early.  I was one of her first steady customers when she came out of school in the mid 80’s.  I used to pull up in a rig and jump out run in for a wash, cut and blow dry then back later for high-light. Well Tuesday was different I hugged her while boyfriend and dog waited in truck and she washed my hair and then I said words I never had before MAKE IT SHORT and NO high Lights I am too old.  She assured me I was not but got the scissors out  and proceeded to rid my head of all those dried out locks.  It was half way down my back,  so I know it will grow back but now being 57 and looking forward to showing my art,  it was time not to appear to be a hippie.

The work was done,  there was a huge pile on the new wooden floor.  She had cut lots of layers all over my head as I have straight and fine hair so now I could blow dry on a round brush and then add curls with the small iron for lots of tight curls or the fat curling iron for some pretty bouncy curls.  I may even use my old curlers now and then.

Now just picture this I was always a blonde then I added more blonde highlights and now that they are all gone.  I am no longer going to be called Blondie maybe just  Eunice,  for a change.    I missed weigh-in on Tuesday but maybe down even more ounces without the extra length.  I am not used to having real short hair.   I did have a Twiggy Haircut back when Laugh-In was a big deal as was she.  From the days when Charlie’s Angels hit the TV with Farah my hair has always been just like hers,  it fit me.   Now that is a VERY DEEP RUT hey, lol.

 

So Ron was great with it for a man he is cool he knows I just want a fresh start and it can grow a little longer and still look pretty. Now I  was off to see what Mom would say.  I hugged her when I went into the house I grew up in, no coat on and friendly dog at my heel and she never noticed.  After I made a cup of coffee and helped her make some moves on her Words With Friends, yes she is now on Facebook, I asked “so do you like my hair?”  She looks at me and says what did you do to it then says OH, OH I like it what color is that?  I said my own to which she reminds me it was always pretty till I messed with it in the mid 70’s.  So then she says you have a rinse in it though right to cover the gray.  I burst out laughing and said no Mom 57 and no gray yet.  She has had beautiful white hair since she was 50!  I reminded  her she raised us four brats and I had dogs and  not back talking children.  When I left I think she still thought I had colored it my color I was when I was 18.  Now my hairdresser took photos and never got to me in time for this post and for that I am sorry and one I took in mirror I do not think is good enough but I did add it even though I know it could cause me to really lose my wonderful followers.’  I did add the photos as it would not be my blog without them.

 

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Nope this was 3 years ago highlighted  leaving Farrah behind

 

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Nope not this one either. This was 5 years ago when  I did my hair the night before I took this photo,  with strips of a brown paper bag, like back in the day when I used rags to roll my waist length hair up on the ends just to make it pretty when in a pony tail.

 

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Yes me above now down 70+ pounds and I want another  70 or 80 off but no longer can I hide behind the HAIR  I know I should have smiled pretty but I was worried about all those wrinkles  and the shower curtain, etc. behind me so I cropped all I could out sorry but I must say I feel liberated bathroom shot and all!

 

Now for the CAKE!

 

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Mom may be 77 but she still can make a beautiful ROSE and yummy cake maybe I will miss next weeks weigh in as well oh no wait I won’t have to there is SNOW TO SHOVEL as the storm is no upon us!

Now to get back to the POST Name

I hear the sounds of spring in the birds voices.

I see birds arriving that stay further south wait you got as much snow as we did last storm but really we are now seeing chipmunks and mom had greens tall ones for her Daffodils already up so certainly it will arrive soon as this bout of 6 inches melts and the other 12 inches follows suit and the huge snow bank under the Apple tree well she will bear fruit like crazy with no water shortage!

 

It was so nice to sit with my feet up and read your blogs well the ones I got to and to sit with you and let you know all is good I am getting so excited to start out fresh and full of  joy and a light heart,  head too.

Love you all and miss you too

Susan  B. still no blog listed on  my list for you 😦 HUGS I will locate you here or there though.

 

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From my beautiful snow-covered NH home to yours we shall talk soon!

Eunice